Mon. Nov. 18, 2019: The Dark Side of Gratitude #UpbeatAuthors

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image courtesy of DarkWorkX via pixabay.com

Monday, November 18, 2019
Waning Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde

Gratitude is presented as something positive and uplifting. But, as with anything, it has its dark side.

How often, when someone tries to lowball us at work, overworking and underpaying/undervaluing our contribution, do we hear, “You should be grateful for this job?”

Too often, employers forget that without a work force, they don’t have a company. As more and more workers are taught to value themselves and their contributions, let’s hope more and more companies who don’t are forced off the market.

There will always be times we have to take a survival job somewhere we loathe. But we need to immediately start looking for something else and get away as soon as possible.

We don’t have to be grateful when someone mistreats us. We need to get out of the situation.

The other dark side of gratitude is false martyrdom. Doing something not because we want to help, but because we want the other person’s gratitude in return. We want them to OWE us.

That can quickly get into a toxic downward spiral.

Again, that doesn’t mean you have to give more and do more just to give and be a doormat. There has to be some sort of reciprocal energy or it gets unbalanced.

Remember, in your working life, you deserve to ALWAYS be treated with courtesy and dignity. While many people can fill the same job, each individual brings something unique to it.

In the rest of your life, make sure you do something for the right reasons for someone else; and when someone offers you help, that they’re doing it to genuinely help, not to further their own agenda.

What kinds of toxic situations involving false gratitude have you found yourself in and removed yourself from?

Published in: on November 18, 2019 at 5:49 am  Comments Off on Mon. Nov. 18, 2019: The Dark Side of Gratitude #UpbeatAuthors  
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Fri. Sept. 6, 2019: Battening Down the Hatches for a Dorian Slap

Friday, September 6, 2019
Waxing Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Rainy and mild

For some reason, yesterday seems far away.

Got some work done at the library in the morning, including sending out a bunch of LOIs. Did the big grocery shop before the incoming storm. Couldn’t find everything I wanted. How could the store be out of flour? So I guess I’m not baking this weekend, once the storm passes, unless I go shopping again.

Hop on over to Affairs of the Pen, the blog under the Ava Dunne name, where I talk about how I’m building the ensemble for the Nautical Namaste Mysteries. This week’s post talks about how I developed Sophie’s friends on land: her housemates Fawn and Bianca, her friend Freddie the painter, her family, the supporting characters that help set up and support certain aspects of her character.

Participated in the Freelance Chat on Twitter yesterday, which was a ton of fun.

Worked on “Pier-less Crime” in the afternoon. It’s going more slowly than I’d like, but okay. Crafted a pitch for a magazine for which I’ve wanted to write for years, and I finally came up with something I think is suited to them. That goes out today.

Meeting this morning, which I was not looking forward to (and why this post is going up late).

I’ve set up a separate Twitter account for Fearless Ink. I still will talk about anything on the @DevonEllington account, but @ink_fearless will be focused just on business writing and freelancing. I hope you will follow me on both.

Got a little bit of work done on ELLA. But, because I’m blank paging most of it instead of following a detailed outline, this last third of the book is a mess and difficult to sort out. I feel like I have to type up everything I’ve written so far, so that I can effectively write the last third. This process has been fun and I’ve learned a lot; however, it reminds me why I prefer to work from detailed outlines.

The plan this afternoon and for most of the weekend is to work on GRAVE REACH and finish “Pier-less Crime.” I need both to go out next week. I also have to revise the first chapter of THE BARD’S LAMENT, so it’s in good enough shape to be part of the back matter for GRAVE REACH.

There are personal stresses with which I’m dealing with and can’t yet discuss. They are wearing on me, and I hit patches in the day where I feel like I am flat out of coping skills.

Of course, in times of stress, I always want to work on GAMBIT COLONY, because it soothes me. But I can’t do that during this deadline period. I need to focus on what’s on deadline.

But all I can do is the best I can do. And I have to get back to the page.

Have a great weekend. Monday’s post will be a full one, about challenging yourself, for Upbeat Authors.

 

Published in: on September 6, 2019 at 9:57 am  Comments Off on Fri. Sept. 6, 2019: Battening Down the Hatches for a Dorian Slap  
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