Tues. Dec. 5, 2017: And We’re Definitely in Mercury Retrograde

Tuesday, December 5, 2017
Waning Moon
Uranus Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde

Yeah, Mercury’s Retrograde — AGAIN, and it looks like it’ll be a rough one.

Hop over to the GDR site for the November wrap-up.

Hop on over to the Kemmyrk site for some background on today, one of my favorite days, St. Nicholas Day.

I’m still recovering from the events of Friday and the car. I contacted my regular garage, and they’re putting together an estimate for me. I contacted a friend who knows the best places to get tires around here, and he gave me some suggestions.

Got a bunch of admin stuff done Friday, and then I went off to Nirvana in Barnstable to meet a friend for coffee. And was stood up. I had to dig deep — I don’t like that type of disrespect, and it’s a pattern between this individual and me.

But instead of sitting there feeling angry and hurt, I acknowledged I was both of those things, and I sat and enjoyed my mocha latte for a half hour. It was quiet, it was pretty, it was a nice atmosphere. Why shouldn’t I enjoy myself, since I was there? So I did.

Then, I went next door to Barnstable Market, and I found the plum pudding, Dresden stollen, and leibkuchen I wanted for the holidays.

I let the person know I’d waited for a half hour and then left. I didn’t hear anything until mid-morning on Saturday (since I know this person is intimately connected to mobile devices at all times, that didn’t help my attitude). She claimed she’d sent me an email, because a crisis at work came up, and she hopes to reschedule. Well, I never got it (Mercury Retrograde), and it is what it is. These things happen, and things get mixed up. Later in the afternoon, she forwarded the missing email — it had never left the Inbox. If she’s serious, she can contact me after the holidays.

This is huge progress for me, acting like a grown-up in this situation. I’m not striking out in anger. I’m also not committing to putting myself into a situation again that’s bad for me. I’m being polite, and giving the benefit of the doubt to a point, adding it to the balance sheet.

It builds on removing myself from a work relationship that had been toxic last year, where I’d done the equivalent of $150,000 of pro bono work over several years for an organization that repeatedly refused my professional suggestions because they were “too New York” (um, no, they’re “professional” which is why they WORK in New York) and then turned around and paid someone else to do the exact same thing I’d been doing for free. Truly a case of “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?” And yet, without that client, my life contains much less stress and unhappiness, although there are aspects of the work with them that I miss.

But aren’t balance sheets in relationships always uneven? To a point, yes. Relationships, friendships, the like, all go through cycles where one party tends to do more of the heavy lifting. If and when it gets out of balance, that’s when the relationship has to be reassessed. Either there are ways to get it back in balance, or it needs to end. And only the individuals within the relationship understand its unique balance.

In January of 2016, my promise to myself was “reciprocity” — because I feel that in this area of the country, most interactions lack reciprocity. One party demands everything and gives nothing in return. In New York, believe it or not, there was far more reciprocity, especially among professionals. Cape Cod is the epitome of how and why the “Trickle Down” fantasy the GOP keeps pushing DOESN’T WORK. It doesn’t let people break the cycle of poverty (on either financial or emotional levels), and, after awhile, people start living a “gimme” life. What the GOP claims is created by social services (such as SNAP and Medicare) — laziness, refusal to work, grabbiness, expecting handouts — is actually CREATED by THEIR policies when they remove those safety nets. But, because they’re being paid off to push the policies, they don’t care.

It’s been hard work these last two years to put the Reciprocity Model into action in my life. I often fail. But I’m more aware of it now, I’m better at saying “no” upfront when an unequal demand is made, or, once I realize it’s getting way out of whack, trying to rebalance and/or make the decision that is best for ME and walk away.

There’s definitely more work to do, but I’m making progress. Not the least of that progress is not letting the hurts and anger fester and dwell on them, rather than letting go and moving on. I remember, and I use what I’ve learned to make better choices.

Anyway, Saturday was about finishing up both a review and an article. I also raked another 270 gallons of leaves — still in the front. I haven’t made any progress anywhere else yet! Got a bit of decorating done, but there’s still so much more to do.

Thought about SERENE AND DETERMINED, but didn’t get anything written on it. I tried to make up for it yesterday and today. I don’t know why I’ve had such a difficult time getting the play on paper this year.

Thought about a few other things I want to create next year — long-term business plans.

I sent out a bunch of questionnaires to potential web hosts. My current web host 1&1, did nothing but insult me and give me the runaround instead of taking 15 minutes to answer my questions. I need a new web host!

Behind on TRACKING MEDUSA, too. Behind on “Miss Winston Apologizes” — release date moved back on that. Although the new cover is pretty cool.

My mom’s foot is taking a long time to heal. We still have a lot of post-op care.

Outlined two new ideas. Don’t know when I’ll get a chance to work on them, but the premises intrigue me.

Over the past month, my mom and I have read all of Jenn McKinlay’s Hat Shop Mysteries and her Cupcake Bakery Mysteries. They’re fun, and I like the way she grows the character relationships from book to book, so they’re all of a piece. That’s what I’m trying to do in the Nautical Namaste and the Picaroon Island mysteries.

Tessa loves the Christmas Tree. She’s very gentle with it, but she loves to spend time under it — especially when it’s lit.

Session with the client went well yesterday. Hopefully today will also be great, and forward progress.

A lot of deal with this week. During Mercury Retrograde. I’d rather hide in my bed, but I guess that’s not an option!

 

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Saturday, December 5, 2009
Waning Moon
Uranus Retrograde
About to snow/cold
St. Nicholas Eve

Yes, we’re supposed to get snow today. Woo-hoo! That puts me in the holiday spirit, although I’m not going to go to storage and haul out my stuff and get it all wet. Not that there’s room for it anyway — I still don’t have the apartment completely sorted out, although I got a lot done yesterday and we’re getting there.

Had some ginger in the morning for the nausea and celery for the headache and felt human again. Had to run some errands — couldn’t find what I needed locally, so wound up at Target in White Plains — I’ve been to WP every day this week, it’s ridiculous. And here I’m trying to plan the errands so I’m not dashing all over creation! But Target had what I needed and more, so I got a lot done. Got done everything I needed at the bookstore — which is closing in January, which totally sucks. I mean, it wasn’t a great one, but still . . .

Realized I was running a fever, so I went home, rested up a bit, took whatever supplements I’m not allergic to that could pound out whatever’s trying to take me down,and got back to work. I got a lot done, sorting, purging, organzing. I’m trying to find a place for everything, and if I can’t, it either gets given away or goes to storage. The challenge is then keeping storage organized enough so I can get at things as I need them.

I’m purging a lot of clothes that either don’t fit properly and aren’t worth the alterations, or just don’t suit the way my style has evolved. I found two coats that were in storage for years and took them downstairs to the new cleaners that opened up — they are so nice! Lovely people. I considered buying a new dressy winter coat this year, but the one in storage is lovely — really well cut, full-length, navy blue — and my black pea coat, that I bought way back in college in Greenwich Village when I was caught in a snowstorm without a coat — will be fine once it’s cleaned and I put the silver buttons back on (I’d lent it to a show and took my good buttons off so they wouldn’t get lost). I also found an almost-finished dress in one of my favorite styles — very simple, tailored, slight flare below the knee. All it needs is the finishing on the hem, the neckline, and the armholes, and I can wear it in spring. It’s a lovely soft pattern in blues and grays and greens with just a hint of burgundy in it. I love shopping in my closet!

I’m putting together several bags of clothes I will then sort into stuff that gets donated and stuff that goes to a local consignment store. I’ve got some beautiful theatrical pieces like a beaded formal skirt (given as a Secret Santa gift that’s never fit me) which are nearly new, tried on but never worn, and someone could enjoy them.

I’ve sorted out a lot of my books and reconfigured the bookcases. So why do I STILL have piles of books on the floor with no place to put them? Unfortunately, a lot of them are in use in various projects.

Started work on Confidential Job #1, which seems like it’ll be really cool. Got some decorating ideas that I will start this weekend, and then, as I can bring stuff in from storage, I can add to it. I’m finding some great fabric as I’m going through packed stuff, and I’m sorting the fabric and the yarn and all the rest so I know where everything is, can complete any uncompleted projects, and actually get at everything.

The fever broke at some point in the night, so I’m feeling much better. I did an extra-challenging yoga session in the morning — swore somewhat during the process, but feel better now. I’ve got a bunch of errands to do before the snow starts, and then it’s back to trying to sort out the apartment.

I’ve got the menus for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day sorted,and I’m trying to figure out what to do for the Solstice.

I had a good writing session this morning; feels good after two days away from the page. I get cranky and more neurotic than usual if I skip a day or several days of writing. Everything is on track, writing wise, although I’m not spending as many hours at the page as usual. But, even if I can snatch a half hour here and there, I sit down and I focus and I DO IT. Every few words on the page is a few more than I had before, and it’ amazing what you can get done in 15 minutes if you don’t procrastinate and keep saying, “Oh, it’s only 15 minutes, what can I do?” You can write a bunch of words, that’s what you can do.

Tonight, we put out our shoes, in the Dutch (?) tradition, and St. Nicholas comes and fills them with treats (unless the cats get there first).

Have a great weekend!

Devon

Published in: on December 5, 2009 at 8:44 am  Comments (9)  
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