Mon. Sept. 24, 2018: Upbeat Authors — Self Tolerance

Monday, September 24, 2018
Full Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde

We’re still on the topic of tolerance for this month’s Upbeat Authors.

So I’m going to talk about Self Tolerance.

We all have habits and things about ourselves that we don’t like, or that don’t suit our vision of the life we want to build. The only way to change them is to take action and make the changes.

However, don’t hate yourself for needing to make changes, and don’t hate yourself during the process.

As human beings, we’re not perfect. We’re also all unique, which is part of our beauty.

Although there are far too many factions, both in life and, sadly, in some fiction, that are trying to get people to conform rather than celebrate and, yes, tolerate differences, our differences should be celebrated, and they are part of what makes us stronger.

When we take the time to get to know and understand differences, we can see how the different pieces fit into the larger puzzle. That is a strength.

Instead of looking in the mirror, hating what we see, and berating ourselves about it, how about saying, “Hmm. I think it’s time to try a new look.”

Then figure out what that new look is and go for it!

Changing hairstyles or colors, deciding you want to put on or lose weight, deciding that you want to try a different color palette, or style range is fun. It is something that can be maintained as long as it works for your life and makes you feel good. It can be changed when it no longer works.

If you have a habit you want to break, or something else about how you respond to situations or something about your being that gives you difficulty or makes you unhappy, don’t be afraid or ashamed to reach out for help and support. Make informed decisions to make positive changes in your life.

You can rearrange your furniture or try a new paint color or drape lively fabrics on furniture. None of it has to be expensive. Get a feng-shui book out of the library and try a few suggestions (MOVE YOUR STUFF, CHANGE YOUR LIFE by Karen Rauch Carter is my favorite). Buy a new plant. Change the curtains (I have summer curtains, winter curtains, and spider web curtains for the month of October). All of it can be creative. It keeps my living energy and my personal energy from getting stale.

If your organizational system isn’t working, experiment with new ones. Most organizational books by so-called ‘gurus’ make me roll my eyes, but there’s one that I found useful. It’s called ORGANIZING FROM THE INSIDE OUT by Julie Morgenstern (an ex-theatre person, by the way).

I am NOT a proponent of “if you haven’t used it/worn it for a year, get rid of it” or “for every item you bring in to the house, get rid of one.” That is CRAP, in my opinion, and it’s a scheme to get you to run out of stuff and have to BUY more. In lean times, I’ve been saved by stuff I hadn’t used for years, found, and found useful. My life has too many elements in it for every item to be used all the time. They rotate around every few years, and I can shop in my closets, for both clothes and household items.

I was exhausted when I moved here. In 2010. I am only now unpacking and purging a lot of the boxes I brought along that I hadn’t had time to sort before moving. I moved my childhood home and mother, and my storage unit where I’d tossed stuff for years, and my own stuff, in less than a month. So, no, there wasn’t time to sort it all.

But I’m doing it now. I kept trying, but I kept berating myself for not doing it right away or fast enough or whatever.

You know what’s making it possible? When I shut the hell up from yelling at myself and just started to deal with it. It takes as long as it takes. I’m making a decision on each item in each box.

So be kind to yourself. Tolerate your imperfections, even while you’re working toward becoming the person you want and creating the life you envision. Celebrate the journey!