Wed. Aug. 15, 2018: Getting My Creative Feet Back Under Me

Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Mars Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde

They told us showers Monday night. We had a monsoon. The yard needed it, but still. Glad I didn’t have to be out in it.

Client work yesterday and today. Getting back into the rhythm so that I can buckle down and really push on RELICS. Getting back into the groove for DHARMA.

Got a stack of LOIs out. Have some more to work on this weekend. Working on articles for Ink-Dipped Advice and Biblio Paradise (the Lucy Burdette piece stays up another week at the top of the feed — I’m posting a new piece next Tuesday). Check out the new piece on Ink-Dipped Advice today, though, about being paid appropriately for multiple skills.

I need to get back into the pattern of pitching articles. That’s really fallen by the wayside this year, and it can’t. I like the work, and I want to keep doing it. Don’t get me wrong, I get plenty of requests to post articles on money-generating websites — but they don’t want to pay, so no thanks. This is my business, not my hobby. An occasional post swap with another author whose work I like and respect is one thing, and yes. The demand that I work for free while the site owner earns money off my piece? No.

Lots of positive feedback on Monday’s article about self-respect. I’m glad it helped. I’m done with non-reciprocal respect. I will almost always meet a new-to-me individual on the base foundation of respect. However, if that person proves unworthy of that respect — which includes showing me the same respect from the get-go — excommunicated from my universe. Done. I will not be a doormat or otherwise badly treated because that individual demands “civility” without behaving with it.

The mid-month check in is up on the Goals, Dreams, and Resolutions site. I’m behind on just about everything, and the rest of the month is about catching up.

Savasana/Sukasana/Reiki was great last night, as usual. I will be sad when the class ends.

Back to the page.

Published in: on August 15, 2018 at 12:35 am  Comments Off on Wed. Aug. 15, 2018: Getting My Creative Feet Back Under Me  
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Monday, Aug. 13, 2018: Respect, as in Self-Respect #UpbeatAuthors

Monday, August 13, 2018
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Mars Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde

Let’s talk about respect when it comes to ourselves and our work.

If you don’t respect your writing, no one else has any reason to, either.

Don’t demean your work. Don’t make excuses around it. If you talk about your writing, and call yourself a writer, CALL YOURSELF A WRITER.

If someone tries to demean you, give them “The Look” and move on.

You do not owe it to anyone to discuss how much you earn, how much your advance is, how much your royalties are, or any other terms of your contract. When someone who has no business asking these questions tries to pry the information out of you, simply smile and say, “I’m happy with the terms of my contract.” And don’t engage.

If they persist, go ahead and say, “That’s none of your business.”

If someone tries to get you to work for them for free, whether it’s the insulting “You should write . . .” or the even more insulting, “Oh, but it’ll be so EASY to write this and we’ll make a lot of money out of it” – no.

For “You should write” smile and say, “I’m already contracted out on at least three years’ worth of ideas. But thanks for thinking of me.”

For the trying to get you to team up – which ALWAYS means you do the work while they bask in the money they think they’re going to rake in, again, smile and say, “My agent (or lawyer) handles that. Here’s the number. By the way, negotiations for ghost writing or co-writing start at 30K. And there has to be a publisher in place.”

Don’t engage with people who try to sabotage you. There’s nothing wrong with being cordial and walking away. If they continue to behave badly, there’s nothing wrong with being RUDE and walking away.

But the walking away is important.

Also, don’t denigrate your own work. You don’t “just” write marketing material or romance or genre. There’s not “just” in it. You DO.

Marketing writing is every bit as legitimate as novel writing as play writing as short story as anything else.

Don’t make self-deprecating comments about your work. There’s a difference between keeping your ego in check by being low-key and actively encouraging people not to respect your work. The choice of words you use to describe your work, even jokingly, will set the tone for the way strangers will regard you and your work. There’s a difference between an arrogant hard-sell (which is a turn-off), and a pleasant one-sentence summary (your log-line, your hook that you used in your pitch) that gives potential readers and conversationalists a taste of it.

Women have a tendency to self-deprecate more than men do. In the 1980s, we were supposed to wear the oversized shoulder pads that made us look like line-backers so we could tackle “a man’s world” (in stilettos, no less). Then, in the 90s, we were expected to self-deprecate, especially when we had major achievements.

Don’t.

Use positive language that shows self-respect without arrogance. There’s a difference between arrogance and assertion, and yes, it is about more than gender. Plenty of people will call you “arrogant” or “aggressive” if you are an assertive woman, especially an assertive author who’s a woman. That’s their problem, not yours.

Changing your negative self-talk takes time, but it is well worth it. When you start watching what you say out loud, it will also adjust in the voice that’s your saboteur, that often comes out as the “internal editor” (the negative kind) that gets in the way when we create.

That’s like when someone feigns interest in what you write, asks you about it, you tell them, and they say, “Oh! I never would read THAT!”

They aren’t “being honest.” They’re intentionally trying to make you feel like “less than” and that what you do is “less than.” If they were actually being productive members of society, they would smile and say, “How interesting! How wonderful that you wrote/published that!”

There are plenty of books that I won’t read – but I won’t spit in an author’s face by saying so when they’ve taken the time to tell me about the book, ESPECIALLY when I’ve asked about it.

There’s no reason you can’t be supportive and gracious, even when you don’t plan to read the book.

Smile and move to a different conversational group. I no longer grope for another topic. I’ve learned that this individual does not have the most basic social etiquette, and I’m not going to waste time. I smile and move on.

In this divisive time, I get plenty of “I bet you write feminist libtard crap.” To which I smile and say, “No, you wouldn’t like it. My work deals with concepts of humanity, justice, equality, which don’t interest you. Plus, I use words of more than one syllable.”

And I walk away.

Never forget how much non-artists HATE the fact that artists create. They will pretend they “don’t mean anything” by their remarks. But they do. The purpose is to undermine your self-esteem, your self-confidence, to make you feel bad, to “cut you down a peg” or to “put you in your place.”

My place is wherever I CHOOSE it to be.

Smile, be gracious, disengage.

Hold on to the core of your self-respect.

Don’t let anyone treat you with less than respect.

When you respect yourself and disengage from those who treat you without it, you’ll be surprised how their behavior changes, how positively your self-respect affects your life (and your work), and it begins an upward spiral.

Published in: on August 13, 2018 at 4:14 am  Comments (4)  
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Nano 30 Tips for 30 Days: Day 7: Competition

The only person you’re in competition with is yourself.

Publishers, agents, and editors like to pit us against each other, but, in reality, we’re all in this together. Some of us will go farther because we bothered to learn the protocols and the grammar and the business side of it. Some of us will find mentors; some of us will work hard and combine talent AND business acumen; some of us will get a lucky break AND make the most of it. But all of us are in competition with ourselves to write the best book possible in our own vision.

Sometimes that’s difficult to remember when you look around and see higher word counts from other writers on blogs or websites or Facebook or Twitter or in sprints.

Good for them.

I like to get a good daily word count in there early because I’m well aware that, at any point, I could hit a wall.

And then I’ll have to figure out how to:
Climb over it
Burrow under it
Plow through it
Go around it
Blow it up

One of the most positive aspects you can take away from this experience, is that, for one month, you had enough self-respect for your writing to sit down every day and do something.

If you don’t respect your own writing time and writing, why would anyone else respect it either? It starts with you.

If you can take that beyond this month, you’ll have won, no matter what your final word count.

Come Write In! Tuesdays 11-1, Thursdays 2-4, Marstons Mills Public Library, 2160 Main St., Marstons Mills, MA

Published in: on November 7, 2015 at 5:00 am  Comments Off on Nano 30 Tips for 30 Days: Day 7: Competition  
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