Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Snowy and cold
I talk about pots in today’s entry of Gratitude and Growth. Hop on over.
Saturn went retrograde this morning, and will stay retrograde until June 12, according to my calender. Saturn is the planet of life lessons. When it goes retrograde, the life lessons it tried to teach you in the last retrograde and you ignored/refused to learn will come back and bite you in the butt here. Saturn does not take prisoners; it is a tough love planet. If you keep making the same mistakes, you dig yourself in deeper.
I have a dear friend who, since I’ve known her, has been caught in a pattern and refuses to break it. Saturn retrogrades are particularly difficult for her. We’ve talked in detail how to break these patterns holding her back, but she refuses. And yet she wonders why each Saturn retrograde cycle is more difficult than the previous one. Until she takes action to break the negative patterns, it’s going to keep getting worse.
I went through a couple of those cycles when I knew it was time to leave Broadway,but I was afraid so to do, both financially and emotionally. And, each Saturn retrograde cycle, I was reminded (harshly) that it was time to go.
Hopefully, moving here broke a negative pattern in which I was mired, and hopefully I can learn how to get what I want and stand up for myself in a more positive way in this cycle. I have to make sure I don’t fall back into old patterns just because they’re familiar.
Yesterday, it snowed almost all day. There wasn’t a lot of accumulation, but it was still kind of a pain to get around. Got to the library; returned the books due, got out some new ones, and got my mom all set up with her library card. They are so nice there!
Back home, read for awhile, then called the place holding the seminar to make sure it was still on. It was, so I layered up and headed back out onto the road. My little lane was kind of a mess, but once I got onto the bigger roads, it was fine, as long as I was cautious. The turnoff to the seminar location was tricky, and the hill going up — let’s just say I’m grateful I have a VW!
The first parking lot hadn’t been plowed since the last storm, so there was no way I was going to park there. I managed to squeeze into a parking spot closer to the buildings, but those roads were in bad shape.
It was a small class, among them the nature columnist I met a few days ago at Ashumet, which was great fun — we exchanged information and will go play, soon.
I had mixed feelings about the class. The weather was too bad for us to go tromping around identifying plants, so it was modified so we could stay inside. All good. The teacher knew what she was talking about, but her style of teaching did not work for me. I found her very condescending and making sweeping generalizations: “We all demand prescriptions”, “Heaven forbid we turn off the TV” , “you won’t read these guides, but you should”– stuff like that. I was biting my tongue, wanting to say, “Listen, bitch, maybe most of your students do that, but why do you think we’re here, learning this? I haven’t had a prescription since 2002, and it’s easier to pill a feral cat than to get me to take anything stronger than an Advil. And I have the TV off most nights to read. And when I get a guide, I READ it from cover to cover. You just met me; don’t assume you know anything about me or that I fit some preconceived societal notions.”
To actually say that in class would have been incredibly rude, even for me, so I kept my mouth shut, but I think my new acquaintance next to me knew something was up from the way I shifted around in my chair. I kept having to unfold my arms and change my body position, because, in a class of five, it’s noticeable when you have negative body language.
I’m sure she thought I was responding negatively because I’m her societal cliche.
Once I could filter through the way the information was presented, I got some good notes, which I now have to learn.
However, I also felt she didn’t have proper respect for poisonous plants. I’m as deeply attuned to the facts that there are a lot of positive uses for poisonous plants as she is. However, a poisonous plant doesn’t give a damn about your beliefs or “place in society” or anything else. If you don’t approach a poisonous plant with the proper respect and knowledge, it’s gonna kill you, no matter who you are. It’s very non-discriminatory.
She knows a lot, but her teaching style doesn’t work with me or connect positively with me (really, one should not leave a class wanting to smack the instructor upside the head). But you’re not going to get along with everyone, and I can be cordial when we meet again (as we’re bound to in a community this small) and appreciate the information I was able to separate out from the teaching style. She’s simply not the teacher under whom I want to train professionally next year, when I am in a position to take classes for certification. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard through the teaching style to get to the information.
I managed to make it down the hill (love my VW) and back onto the road. Stopped at Lavender Moon to get the icky energy off, replenish some incense, and have a nice chat with the proprietor. Actually, I made a conscious effort to leave the negativity outside the door before I entered the shop.
Came home, burned incense, roasted a chicken with lemon caper sauce, and read Susan Wittig Albert’s WORMWOOD, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I used to read each of her China Bayles mysteries as soon as it came out (because of the herb shop aspect as much as the mystery). I don’t know why I stopped, but I’m pretty far behind at this point.
We’re supposed to get hammered with another storm today, so I’m staying home to write and comment on exercises. The big black cat sauntered past this morning, and is lounging on top of the shed across the way.
Bacon and eggs for breakfast, and then, back to the page.