Tues. June 4, 2019: Trying to Put One Foot in Front of the Other

Tuesday, June 4, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde

It’s been a difficult few weeks. There’s plenty I can’t talk about right now in a public venue.

The additional pressure has certainly slowed down the writing. That’s negative not only because it puts a dent in earnings — which I can’t have right now — but also because when I don’t write enough each day, it throws my day out of balance. I have deadlines looming, and even though I’m working as hard as I can, I don’t know what to do.

The red flags just keep coming with that potential client out of Boston. They made demands; I met them; now I’ve heard nothing. Not even common courtesy. Yet I’m sure, should they want to take the next step, that they will, once again, expect me to drop everything the second they snap their fingers. Not happening. IF and WHEN they are paying me for my time and my skills, that’s when they get to make such demands. Otherwise, they have to negotiate. Current clients take priority over maybe someday clients.

On a happy note, I heard from Radio Theatre Project that they like “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” and want to take a look at the play set on Brighton Pier for their October slot. Of course, I have to write the play set on Brighton Pier — but at least I managed to dig up one research book, out of the Boston library.

Saturday, I ran errands. Tried to get the house back to rights after all the rearranging for the fridge switch out. Cut back and dug out one of the front beds in the yard, and moved some hostas.

I’m exhausted and overwhelmed and discouraged.

Was up, as usual, half the night fretting Saturday night into Sunday. Got some work done on ELLA both days. Not enough on GRAVE REACH. Got the first chapter of ELLA into the computer (which means I’m working on the first and second drafts together of that book).

Did four loads of laundry on Sunday. It kept threatening to rain; I wasn’t sure if I should try to get something done in the yard, but it being Sunday, I wanted to make sure it was something quiet. I managed to get the fertilizer down on the terraced back area.

Started reading Amanda Flower‘s Magical Bookshop mysteries, which are quite good.

A former client contacted me, wondering if we could get together this week so I could write a press release. Hopefully, we can work out the day and time. I like working with them, and it would be fun to do something again.

Was onsite with a client yesterday, and will be today and tomorrow. More pitches and LOIs going out this week.

There was a great piece by a job search advocate (who even knew those existed?) about how badly so-called “human services” professionals treat the people they interview — things like not respecting the interviewee’s time, asking questions that don’t matter to the job, not giving enough or correct information about the job, and not giving a final answer, even if it’s a rejection. Totally agree. It’s not true that there aren’t enough qualified candidates for the jobs — it’s that the people doing the interviews aren’t finding the right matches. It’s especially true when everything is done online and the application is only sent through an algorithm. Especially for a job that requires creativity, the best candidate cannot fit into the boxes. The whole point of finding the right creative fit is someone who DOESN’T fit into boxes, not someone who lies to make it seem like a good fit.

Trying to break out of this loop of self-defeating, negative interior monologue telling me I’m worthless and useless and untalented and a failure. Intellectually, I know it’s not true, but emotionally, that’s what I feel, and I’m frustrated and disheartened and feel stuck, and like I can’t break the cycle. I have to, and I have to do it quickly, but I don’t know how.

It doesn’t help that the economy is about to crash, either, thanks to the Narcissistic Sociopath Grifter and his enablers.

I am desperate for a break of a few days with NO demands on me, and I don’t know when that will happen.

In the meantime, I’m dealing with whatever’s in front of me in the moment. Which isn’t a good solution, but it’s all I’ve got for the moment.

Published in: on June 4, 2019 at 5:28 am  Comments Off on Tues. June 4, 2019: Trying to Put One Foot in Front of the Other  
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Apologies. This was scheduled to post this morning, and, for some reason, did not.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde

Hop on over to A Biblio Paradise to learn all about A.M. Griffin’s newest release, THE GOD KILLER.

Last night, my comic noir mystery radio drama LIGHT BEHIND THE EYES was performed by the Radio Theatre Players in St. Petersburg, Florida. I wish I could have been there to cheer them on in person!

Busy, busy, busy! Good busy, but still busy.

I finally bought a new lawn mower late last week, a reel push mower. No more horrible noise. No more fumes. No more gasoline. It was a pain the butt to put together. However, it’s been raining for days, so yesterday, before I left for my client meeting, was the first chance I had to really use it.

I like it much better than the gas mower.

I dug down and finished the requested partial for HEART THEFT. Seven polished chapters, and the synopsis, cut down from the nine page outline to a five page synopsis. It felt weird to send off a partial of an unfinished manuscript. I’m so used to submitting partials of complete manuscripts.

It also felt weird to step out of the rhythm of the book I’d established and switch over to NOT BY THE BOOK, which I’m now digging down on, because that partial has to go out this week. I aim for Thursday.

The deadline on both was actually Monday night (Memorial Day). However, I wanted them out early. I also don’t want to dump a manuscript on anyone as they’re leaving on Friday for the weekend, so I want to get NBTB out on Thursday, and I already have HT out, so I can actually enjoy the long holiday weekend.

I should hear back by July. Either the editors will like it and want more, which means the books go up a few steps in the writing queue, or they won’t, and the books stay where they are, and get submitted elsewhere when they’re submission-ready.

Once NBTB is out, the primary focus goes back to MYTH & INTERPRETATION, with RELICS & REQUIEM as a close second. In a few weeks, I have to get going on DAVY JONES DHARMA.

Had a conversation on Twitter with an actress friend about our anger over the lack of action taken by politicians on gun control. That’s translating into notes for a script, which I will send her when it’s done. She runs a theatre company.

Came across information on Julie d’Abigny, a fascinating woman from history. I considered pitching to write a play about her for 365 Women, but when I checked, someone else already has (and they’re full for this season). So I guess I sticking to not writing a play for them this year! 😉

But I miss script writing.

So, the summer will be a juggling act. How many balls I have in the air will depend on whether the serial is picked up, and how the editors respond to these two partials.

Considering all the non-writing stuff that has to get done this summer as well, it should be, well . . .interesting.

For me, the best part of the royal wedding was how people enjoyed the happiness the marrying couple shared. I didn’t watch it; I did, however, enjoy how happy so many people were on Twitter and FB.

For those who had to deride the happiness? They’re not worth my time. It’s fine not to like what others like. But don’t scorn them for it, because it doesn’t fit what YOU like. As long as they’re not hurting anyone, let them have their happiness. Not everything is about YOU or YOUR opinion.

Happy that Justify won the Preakness. The hope for another Triple Crown is still alive. Good Magic got a lousy ride – the jockey wore him out too early. My poor little Quip had a bad day, and was depressed to come in last. Poor little one. We forget how young they are when they run these races.

Client work yesterday, today, and tomorrow on a big project. Some LOIs out. Yard work.

Getting the final paperwork out for the contest. It was much easier when I just mailed them the judging sheets. But now I have to key it into the computer, zip a file, and send it off. I need the physical sheets for the way I organize Yes, No, and Maybe piles in each category.

Bought a big new sketch pad yesterday, because I need to figure out some physical mapping on the serial. I need to render the main building where a good portion of it takes place, the street, the neighborhood, and then, the entire town.

Good thing I studied stage design. It’s amazing how much that helps me in writing novels.

It’s amazing how many skills I picked up working in theatre help with the writing.