Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Jupiter Retrograde
Chilly and sunny

Jump on over to A Biblio Paradise to read about one of my favorite characters, Diana Tregarde!

The Write Angles conference fucked me. There is no diplomatic or other way to put it. They were not truthful or complete in their information, and now I’m stuck doing things I told them early on I wouldn’t, and out nearly a thousand dollars in books and conference materials when they haven’t kept up their end of the deal. Because I am published by smaller publishers such as Champagne and SmartPop, and not Random House or HarperCollins, I’m suddenly being treated like am amateur self-published wanna-be — although they still expect me to do a professional presentation FOR FREE. This conference was going to be my give-back-to-the-writing community, the pro bono thing I can only afford to do once a year. I do this for a living, people. I am one of the few who doesn’t have a day job. Even authors who sell through major publishers like Jackie Kessler have day jobs. I do not.

The bookstore even REFUSED to carry my books. It’s not just that they didn’t bother to order them (as I was told)– they refused to carry my books. So, if I want to sell any of them, I have to haul them around like a carny barker on my own — which I told them up front I wouldn’t do. If they wanted me there WITH BOOKS, I expected THEM to handle the sales. When they said they “messed up” the ordering, and I got the books in time, it was my understanding — and I stated it clearly — that I would drop off the books with the person designated at the bookstore. If I wasn’t considered “legitimate” because I’m not with a big NY publisher — I needed to be TOLD that early enough to make an informed decision. How hard is it to say, “If you’re not with a Big Trade Publisher, you’re responsible for your own books and sales”? If that’s your policy, that’s your policy. Don’t hide it. Be clear and honest about it. Don’t set up a network of lies and then spring it on me the night before. Not acceptable. I’m not set up to handle a cash box and credit cards and checks and make change. Nor should I have to be. That’s THEIR job.

It’s not that I think I’m so important or famous. I’m not. Just be honest so I can make an informed decision, which wills serve us ALL better.

So now I’m out over a grand with books and conference materials before I even start, for a gig where I’m not even being paid.

I’m very tempted to say “fuck you” right back at them and cancel, but leaving a hole in their program doesn’t serve a purpose for me, either. I have made my displeasure known. For crying out loud, I was doing panels at conferences in the US and the UK before I was a full-time writer and I wasn’t treated like this.

They still might find a way to make it right. Somehow, I doubt it. Which is a shame, because I’ve been looking forward to this since the spring. And I worked really hard to create a fun, 55-minute session the touches on the major elements in the month-long class.

This has thrown a monkey wrench into my morning writing.

And this, after a horrible night. I finally went to CVS last night because I needed something for the cold. They made a suggestion. I took their “nighttime relief” medication. In two hours, I was so sick, I thought I was going to have to call the EMTS and head for the emergency room. It exponentially worsened the symptoms I had and created new ones. And then — although it’s supposed to make you sleep — I was as wired as if I had four pots of coffee.

I finally got up and whipped up one of my herbal remedies, which defeated the chemicals and I could do things, like, well, breathe again and not feel like I was having a heart attack (and I didn’t even know how badly the conference was fucking me then).

I’m going back when the pharmacy opens to get my money back and get something I know works. Does Contact still do their tiny time pills? They were always helpful.

So I’m sicker than I was before, had no sleep, have a long drive, am losing my voice, and have to teach somewhere that fucked me.

Not shaping up to be a great weekend! 😉

I keep thinking something good must come out of all of this, but damned if I know what it is yet.

Devon