Mon. Nov. 18, 2019: The Dark Side of Gratitude #UpbeatAuthors

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image courtesy of DarkWorkX via pixabay.com

Monday, November 18, 2019
Waning Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde

Gratitude is presented as something positive and uplifting. But, as with anything, it has its dark side.

How often, when someone tries to lowball us at work, overworking and underpaying/undervaluing our contribution, do we hear, “You should be grateful for this job?”

Too often, employers forget that without a work force, they don’t have a company. As more and more workers are taught to value themselves and their contributions, let’s hope more and more companies who don’t are forced off the market.

There will always be times we have to take a survival job somewhere we loathe. But we need to immediately start looking for something else and get away as soon as possible.

We don’t have to be grateful when someone mistreats us. We need to get out of the situation.

The other dark side of gratitude is false martyrdom. Doing something not because we want to help, but because we want the other person’s gratitude in return. We want them to OWE us.

That can quickly get into a toxic downward spiral.

Again, that doesn’t mean you have to give more and do more just to give and be a doormat. There has to be some sort of reciprocal energy or it gets unbalanced.

Remember, in your working life, you deserve to ALWAYS be treated with courtesy and dignity. While many people can fill the same job, each individual brings something unique to it.

In the rest of your life, make sure you do something for the right reasons for someone else; and when someone offers you help, that they’re doing it to genuinely help, not to further their own agenda.

What kinds of toxic situations involving false gratitude have you found yourself in and removed yourself from?

Published in: on November 18, 2019 at 5:49 am  Comments Off on Mon. Nov. 18, 2019: The Dark Side of Gratitude #UpbeatAuthors  
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Tues. Jan. 10, 2012: Recovering from the Party

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Last Day of Full Moon
Cloudy and cold

I’m back! Good to be home! I’m fighting a cold, but, that’s the way it goes.

Got a lot of work done on Friday, and then it was party prep.

Friday night’s party was a ton of fun. Eighteen people in the little house, lots of food, drink, and laughter. Everyone talked to everyone, and got along. The food was good, the decorations looked good, we’d set up the buffet tables to work with the natural flow of the house — one could basically graze one’s way through the house. Turns out one of my colleagues at the Marine Life Center is the niece of the owner of the house!

Tessa Houdini slipped her harness twenty minutes in, but was much happier roaming and playing extra hostess. She never tried to dash out the door as people came and went. She had a blast, because everyone adored her. The other two hid.

We cleaned up after it was over and pulled down the boxes for the holiday decorations before going to bed.

I woke up feeling like I could sleep for a week. But we started taking down the decorations. It took all day, but they’re packed and put away. And a trip to the dump to get all the party debris out.

Then it was packing for the trip and leftovers, which was all we had the energy to heat up.

Up early Sunday morning, loaded the car, on the road a little after eight. Stopped in Niantic for some books (always a treat) and in Old Saybrook, where I found a few little things, then on to Greenwich. Dropped Costume Imp off at the train and my mom at her site.

Found out I the site has now locked wireless access, so I couldn’t use my own computer. I HAD to get online, so I borrowed a computer and caught up with students. Some of them are pushing boundaries — I am not on call 24/7, nor am I required to explain where I am, AND I’m allowed to take off a day here and there, just like anyone else. At the same time, I appreciate that they want to make sure I’m not lying in a ditch somewhere. One of the students, however, pulled an absolutely unacceptable manipulation move. To say I hit the roof is an understatement. The passive aggression and constant turmoil this individual causes must stop NOW. Line crossed. Unacceptable.

I thought I was shaking because I was so angry — turns out I was also running a fever and had chills. Broke it with good, ole-fashioned aspirin.

Up early on Sunday, back in the car. Drove straight through to the Cape — well, I had to stop for gas, but that’s it. The cats were glad I was home — it looks so bare without all the decorations! I have to do laundry and convert the big buffet table in my office back into the low workspace table and get back to the routine.

I was congested and feeling icky. Broke down and took a Sudafed, which has always been my go-to. Nothing but an upset stomach from it. So, when its term was done, I fired up the oil burner and mixed eucalyptus, tangerine, and pine oils, letting it burn for a few hours. I could breathe all night without distress.

My throat is a little scratchy, but, other than that, I seem in decent shape. Will hit the page for a few hours. I’ve also got to finish a review and type up the minutes for tonight’s meeting. Then, it’s checking in with the students in both classes. The Year-Longs are soldiering along (5 out of 12 have completed the first draft that has to be done by the end of the month). The 5-in 10-ers have their first flash fiction piece due today. Of the four pieces I’ve read so far, all four are excellent. They took the found inspiration and ran with it, kept their unique voices, and kept within the word count limits. The stories are lively and pack a punch. Good stuff! My new private student’s doing really, really well, too. I’ve got some polishing to do for tomorrow’s Webinar — I hope some of you will join me. It’ll be fun.

I’ve got a busy week ahead of me. It’ll be fun, but demanding. I’m also looking forward to next week, which I’m trying to keep very quiet.

Devon