January 31, 2020: Month Changeover, Fresh Chances, Achieving, and Falling Short

Friday, January 31, 2020
Waning Moon
Sunny and mild

Hop on over to the Goals, Dreams, and Resolutions site, for my January wrap-up. I have mixed feelings about my progress. And then hop over to Affairs of the Pen to see a post about how writing about Sophie and her capacity for joy is such a pleasure.

Got some decent work done at the library yesterday, including getting the numbers put in on the US Numbered Format version of “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale.”
Now, I have to do the same for “Pier-less Crime” and then send them off to the director, so he has the trilogy (since he likes “Horace House” so much).

Got a carload of leaves to the dump. Maybe this weekend, I can do some more yard work, if the weather holds.

Started watched THE BEST BRITISH BAKING SHOW Season 2 last night. Not as tight and funny a group as on Season 1. Competitions just aren’t my thing. When I’m baking, I’m going to keep at it until I get it right, not be forced to do something new to me in a couple of hours. No, thanks. I like this show better than most competition shows (which, for the most part, I loathe). But I still disagree with a lot of the parameters.

Working on the BALTHAZAAR revisions. Tearing out a whole subplot section and rebuilding it, which is a challenge.

I have the short story in my head, clear as can be. But can the words find the page properly?

Absolutely disgusted with the GOP Senators. They all belong in prison. And so disappointed in the Chief Justice.

Today is Brexit, so now the UK economy gets to crash, too. Not a good day, all the way around.

How did I do on my intent for the week, for quiet?

I decided not to attend a networking event. Work prevented me from attending meditation group. I kept my mouth shut at work more than I wanted, but it made sense so to do. There were several online conversations I chose not to enter, because the people involved weren’t worth the aggravation. They didn’t want genuine answers to their questions; they wanted their own views reinforced. Not worth the time and energy. I refrained from responding to an insulting email from the potential client meeting last week, where I’d withdrawn from consideration because we were not a good fit. Wednesday, they sent me a rude email saying they were going with someone else. Of course they did — I already told them I wouldn’t work for them. What are they, six? All about control, yet another indication that we weren’t the right fit.

Lots of reading and writing again this weekend; yard work if the weather holds, purging the basement if it doesn’t.

Have a great weekend! I have a slew of errands and bill-paying, and then it’s back to the page.

Wed. Jan. 29, 2020: Good Show Improves Week

Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Waxing Moon

Ink-Dipped Advice’spost talks about Intent, and ties back in to what we do here on Mondays. I hope you enjoy it.

On Monday night, my radio play “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” was performed in Florida. I sent them best wishes for a good show, and heard that the audience absolutely loved the piece, and was delighted to have more Frieda and Laz. Frieda and Laz have become fan favorites.

Work commitments prevented me going to meditation group on Monday, and I missed it. I sat on my own, which I enjoy, but I also enjoy the group. Although sometimes there’s too much of the “guided” and not enough silence.

Monday night, I read Ann Patchett’swonderful new book, THE DUTCH HOUSE. Wow. Just wow. I could not put it down. Beautiful writing and characterization, although I got irritated with the protagonist’s disinterest in everyone around him over the course of his entire life. He was constantly surprised to find out that people had lives that didn’t revolve around him. That their lives had a richness when they were away from him. Patchett showed that very well.

So yes, I sat up late until I finished the book! I love doing that.

Got some admin work done on Tuesday morning, mediocre writing session, answered a letter from my college advisor, which was fun. College was way back in the early 80s, and we have kept in touch. I’m so glad. He was a wonderful advisor, especially when I went through some rough stuff. He has been a touchstone for me through the years. Now he’s written his first novel, and I’m delighted.

Got out another article pitch. Worked onsite with a client. Got some work done at the library. Got some more work converting “Intrigue” into US Numbered format for a different production company that’s doing “Horace House” in October. I figured I’ll reformat the other two plays of the trilogy; that way, the director has them all and can decide if he wants to do them, or just “Horace House.”

Still struggling with the end of “Trust.” I’ve lost the thread of what I’m trying to do, and have to figure it out again.

Today will be an intense day with the client, working on a big project. Then, it’s home for pizza night. I hope to get some work done on revisions.

Tomorrow, if the weather holds, I’ll do some yard work, along with the writing and other work. I’m working on a new targeted prospect list for the postcards. Third party recruiters and HR are a waste of time and space.

You know who else is a waste of space? The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. I’ve been a juror in all kinds of trials over the years. No judge in any trial on which I’ve ever served has been as inept and useless as the Chief Justice. No jurors could get away with what the Republican Senators are getting away with. They’d be held in contempt of court.

THIS is the person who supposedly heads the highest court in the land? What a huge disappointment, at a critical juncture in our republic.

It’s both enraging and discouraging.

I will find a way to work on it via fiction, but it’s no fun to live through, that’s for damn sure.

 

Tues. May 28, 2019: Hit The Stress Running

Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Waning Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Cloudy and cool

So much for having five days off. When the best laid plans go awry, and all that.

Wednesday morning, I’d had a brief conversation with a potential new client. This would be a big deal. Good money. The conference went well, and the person with whom I spoke wanted the next steps up the food chain to happen on Thursday morning, via Skype, and Friday, in person in Boston.

Only I never got the necessary information by end of day on Wednesday.

On Thursday morning, I let her know that I hadn’t had any information, and I would not cancel my Friday and go into Boston, on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend. That’s just nuts. I said I could arrange to go up next Thursday or Friday, but I needed to know by next Wednesday noon. I’m getting a little tired of this attitude that I’m supposed to be at their beck and call when they’re not paying me.

I got a message back stating that the Thursday morning conference couldn’t happen, could we do it in the afternoon?

Good thing I hadn’t booked office space at Cape Space, as I originally planned. Or I would have had to pay for it, even if I canceled. They seem to have difficulty understanding that I actually work for a living; I’m not lounging around the house in pajamas waiting for their summons.

The Skype meeting went well, although it was 45 minutes, longer than I expected. I haven’t heard anything about whether or not the meeting in Boston is on for next week. If I don’t hear by my deadline, it won’t be.

They requested writing samples, which I provided from my portfolios. On top of it, they want me to do a project-specific “assessment” — which, if they weren’t such an established company with a good reputation, I would refuse to do without pay. But again, I’m losing billable hours for AN INTERVIEW. Red flags going up.

In the meantime, I had a very, very busy Wednesday with a client, and was exhausted by the time I got home in the afternoon. But glad that I had five days away from clients. We have a big project coming up that’s more difficult than it needs to be, because the other party responsible for organizing it is clueless.

I was supposed to have five full days off. However, once the Thursday Skype meeting was moved, I got some other work out of the way in the morning, and then mowed the front yard in the afternoon before my meeting. It looks pretty darn good. The push mower does a far better job than the gas mower ever did.

I finished the final polish on “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” and sent it off to the producer.

Started plotting the next Frieda/Lazarus radio play, which will take place on the Brighton Pier — provided I can get the research in. I’ve been in Brighton, but I need to do some of the historical research. It’s hard to find books in the MA library system on historical Brighton, England.

Working on the stage play that’s due next week.

Friday, I ran some errands, including stopping by the mechanic to make arrangements for the rest of the car repairs, which are happening today. Downloaded the materials for the “writing assessment” and did a couple of other things.

Managed to get some decent work done on ELLA BY THE BAY throughout the weekend. I find it relaxing to do a few pages with my morning coffee, even before I do yoga and start the rest of the day.

Finished a chunk of research on forensic psychology, so I can draft Sam’s professional scenes in GRAVE REACH.

Mowed the side yard.

I’m taking as much time as possible to enjoy being on the deck. I rubbed the wooden furniture with teak oil; I’m starting to put out the garden ornaments.

I managed to get a lot of reading done: MURDER AT OCHRE COURT and A MURDEROUS MARRIAGE, both by Alyssa Maxwell, although each is from a different series; THE LOST CAROUSEL OF PROVENCE and LETTERS FROM PARIS, both by Juliet Blackwell. Started reading a serial killer novel, but the cat was murdered, so I’m done. I’m tired of pets and women constantly brutalized in fiction (not to mention real life).

Saturday, I ran some books back to the library, and got out a pitch for an opportunity that landed on my desk late Friday night.

The stage play I was writing took a turn to the more dramatic; I started another, more comic play that I think will work better for the piece I have to submit at the end of the week.

Mowed No Man’s Land and about half of the terrace back part of the yard. An enormous tree limb crashed down in the meadow, and I’m not sure if I should be worried about the rest of the tree. Not to mention that I don’t think I can move the tree limb by myself.

Cooked a lot and ate too much on Saturday. Complete indulgence. A Spanish-style tuna with relish, olive, and tomato along with an Italian anti-pasto plate, French bread, and French wine for lunch (and a sponge cake with whipped cream and strawberries). A French bistro recipe for chicken, shallots, tomato, and tarragon for dinner.

The hordes of tourists have descended and Cape Cod is a nightmare. They are rude, they are arrogant, they drive on the wrong side of the road while texting on their phones. They are sloppy and they litter.

Sitting on the deck on Saturday afternoon, it smelled like Cape Cod, but with the noise of traffic and sirens, it sounded like New York City, and I felt claustrophobic.

A thunder storm woke me overnight Saturday into Sunday, but it passed quickly. It was the first night we left the plants out, and they seem to have survived.

Up early on Sunday, reading and writing. Especially on ELLA BY THE BAY. It’s got a nice, steady pace. I need to transfer some of that pace to GRAVE REACH, and up it a bit.

I should have mowed, but I didn’t. Instead, I tried to enjoy the day.

I am, however, worried about a tree in the backyard that’s leaning. Only I’m not sure if it’s on my property or my neighbor’s. So I will have to ask the landlord. But I’m worried that it will come down and hurt someone or something.

Wrote and polished an article which will go out today. Worked on the “assessment” assignment for the potential new client. Read Tami Hoag’s DUST TO DUST, which was quite good.

Noodled with some ideas for stories and for plays (different ideas). We will see which ones work and which ones don’t.

Got an idea for a short play, which I think will work better for the play on deadline than either of the ideas with which I’ve been playing.

Monday, morning, up early. Worked on ELLA BY THE BAY. Worked on the new play, called “Qualified Personnel.” Got the first draft done. Will let it simmer for a day or two before I revise it and then I want to get it out by Thursday, if possible.

Got more stuff out on the deck, to build our enchanted garden there. Put in the solar stakes. Started mowing the meadow, which is a nightmare, because it’s uneven. Wondering if I’ll have to get in someone to do it for me, at least mow it down the first time.

Reading about the history of Havana. Fretting about the “writing assessment.” I should have simply stated I was away for the weekend, and had the initial interview, etc. this week. It’s my own fault, but I didn’t get the rest I needed, and am still feeling cooked, instead of revived and ready to face the hell that is summer on Cape Cod. It should be wonderful because it’s so beautiful, but it’s not.

Just when I hit a low point, a friend sent me a link to his new song, which is quite beautiful. That cheered me up.

Thought I’d bought ground lamb for dinner, but it was beef. Made burgers for dinner. They were very good, but the last few times I’ve eaten beef, I’ve felt awful, and this wasn’t much different.

Up early today, stressed, and off to get the car fixed. Hope it stays within the estimate and can all get done.

Exhausted and out of sorts, when I should be renewed and ready to face what’s coming. Not a good way to start the coming months.

Wed. May 22, 2019: Links & Prepping for Time Off

Wednesday, May 22, 2019
Waning Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde

Rachel Poli interviewed me for her blog here, and I’m quoted in The Ray Journey’s article on fighting creative block here.

Also, hop on over to Ink-Dipped Advice for some ruminations.

Still have the Go Fund Me for the car repair going. Once I get the insurance check, I’ll know if I can shut it down and start distributing the thank-you books.

I’m helping a client prepare for a big event next month. Neither of the parties involved wants to take responsibility for proper organization and running of it, and they won’t give me the autonomy to do what needs to be done to make it run well. It’s very frustrating. So I’m doing the best work I can in my realm, and it will be what it is.

The morning routine now includes taking the plants out to the deck and arranging them, and the evening routine includes bringing them in. Hopefully, after this weekend, they can just stay out. We’ll see.

Client work most of the days yesterday and today. Early morning meeting with a new potential client. Working steadily on the books, the plays, some new ideas for radio plays. Someone who does NOT like my work was just named artistic director of an organization where I had something produced, so I guess that’s it for me with them right now. That’s the way it goes.

Sent off  “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” to the producer. Fingers crossed.

Working on the articles. A couple of sources dropped out on both of them, so I have to replace those.

Playing with some other ideas, trying to get back on track for a few things. My brain is tired, which is why the next few days off are so important. I’ll let each day happen as it comes, let myself write and rest as I need to. That will help me get my energy together to hit the ground running again next week.

I mentioned to a writer pal of mine that I was “drunk on the scent of lilacs” and she is going to use it for the title of her book. I’m looking forward to reading it.

The beginning of this week was stressful, but I hope that the rest of it will be restorative.

I don’t plan to be online much; I won’t be blogging here again until late in the day next Tuesday.

I hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, or, if you’re somewhere that doesn’t have that day, just a wonderful few days.

Namaste.

 

Fri. May 17, 2019: Inspiration & Focus

Friday, May 17, 2019
First day of Full Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cool

For some reason, yesterday seems far away.

I got some work done at the library. Sent out notes to the person who organized the panel and my fellow panelists, thanking them for including me. Worked on articles.

My brain needed a break in the afternoon. I did a little bit of trimming and pruning in the yard, but, most of the day, I just read.

SHELL GAME, by Sara Paretsky, is one of the best books I’ve read lately. A social justice mystery, she reminds us how to seamlessly integrate what’s happening in the world with a heart-pounding mystery around great characters. I’ve always liked her work, but this is probably my favorite of all the books.

Doing some research on a couple of different projects. Working on articles, working on pitches. My main focus this weekend will be GRAVE REACH, the new play, and polishing “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” so it can go out next week. If the weather is decent, I’ll do more yard work.

Yoga was good yesterday; I’m glad I went.

Next week will be stressful on several fronts. I’m hoping a strong, productive writing weekend will counteract some of the stress.

The Go Fund Me is still on for a few more days; I’m hoping next stage car repair can happen next week.

Ran some errands, got out some pitches. I’m ready for a nap.

But first, I write.

Published in: on May 17, 2019 at 9:38 am  Comments Off on Fri. May 17, 2019: Inspiration & Focus  
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Thurs. May 16, 2019: Process, Viability, and Attitude Adjustment

Thursday, May 16, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cool

Check out the latest on the garden here.

I still have the Go Fund Me up for the car repairs. Your help in sharing is greatly appreciated.

I was pleasantly surprised that the insurance adjustor got back to me on Tuesday night. Part of the repair costs will be approved. Hopefully, I’ll get the check soon; then I’ll know if and when I can shut down the GoFundMe, and schedule the next phases of repair. Even a little bit will be a relief.

I just hope it doesn’t make my insurance skyrocket.

I also have to face the fact that, within the next couple of years, I’ll need a new, or at least new-to-me, car. I love my little blue rabbit. But it’s twelve years old.

Woke up at 3 AM yesterday. The good part about 3 AM is that, from 3-5 AM, it’s relatively quiet. I can get some thinking and plotting done, even if I don’t get up and actually write.

I got up at 5. Worked on ELLA BY THE BAY. Worked on GRAVE REACH. Worked on articles, and on blog posts that have to go up in the next few weeks. Worked on the review of the book I just read.

I’ve now written my way four chapters into ELLA BY THE BAY. It’s a viable book. The next step is to sit down and do a writer’s rough outline, so I can continue with an idea of where I’m going.

My process has changed over the years, from being a total blank pager, to being a total outliner, to mixing the two. I get an idea; if it nags me, I write about four chapters, to see if it can sustain. If it can, I then outline, and then go back and write it.

Some pieces can’t sustain. Some are okay, but I do a nice temporary chapter ending and put them aside to get back to “someday.” (See my Topic Workbook THE GRAVEYARD OF ABANDONED PROJECTS for more on this).

But “process” has to change, as we grow and change as writers. How I created work twenty years ago doesn’t necessarily work the way I do it now, although some tools still work.

Went in and worked onsite with a client.

Came home, changed, had a quick snack, and then drove to Brewster to participate in a panel discussion for a local organization.

Of course, I had handouts. Because I am the Queen of Handouts.

We got off to a bit of a rocky start. I’d given myself an hour to drive there, which would mean I arrived 15 minutes before start time. But the traffic was lighter than I expected, and it only took me 45 minutes to get there. So I was a half hour early. I’m often that early to events — it gives me time to prepare, set out handouts, find out the structure of the event, etc. However, as I tried to get into the building, a board member came out and said, “You’re really early. We’re in the middle of a meeting. Come back in ten minutes.”

Excuse me?

I am one of your guest speakers. An UNPAID speaker, on top of that. (I rarely accept unpaid gigs at this point, but I did here because of my connection with the organization). The proper greeting is, “We’re so glad you’re here! We’re still in the board meeting. I’ll get you set up over here until we’re done.”

Not “come back in ten minutes” so I had to sit outside in the cold.

When I was on the board, I considered it my JOB, my RESPONSIBILITY, my HONOR to make guest speakers and presenters feel welcome and appreciated. I also considered it my job to make the audience feel the same.

“Come back in ten minutes” because they’re busy? No.

I sat outside, fuming. I was tempted to rant on social media. Which was inappropriate. I was tempted to leave. And then I thought, why? Why behave with as little grace as this individual? I’m not Top Poobah Writer of the Universe who demands minions bow to me. It’s really not that big a deal in the scheme of the Universe. It gives me important information, and factors in to future dealings, but, really, it’s not a crisis. I got over myself. Because, in the bigger scheme of things, apart from both my ego, and from feeling that’s not the way to treat people who donate their time to an organization, getting over myself made more sense.

Which was the right choice, because ultimately, it was a lovely evening. My fellow panelists were delightful. The questions, for the most part, were excellent. Except for the couple of people who went on and on about the “art” of what they do and how they didn’t like we talked so much about business. (The topic of the evening was business-oriented, so go figure).

Well, first of all, one does not negate the other. My passion for my art does not mean I forfeit my right to earn a living at it. And if you want to succeed as an author, the business part of it is part of the gig. All of those making faces about how they “don’t do” or “don’t like” websites and social media and all the rest can either pay someone to do it for them — and really PAY, not the attitude around here where $20 is supposed to pay your rent for three months, or better yet, you’re supposed to be THRILLED to do it for free — or suck it up and learn or don’t do it and have a different career trajectory. But if you do the latter, don’t whine that nobody pays attention to you.

Still, it’s an important discussion to have. The more information people have, the more informed decisions they can make for the path that works best for them. There is no ONE WAY — thank goodness! It would be far too dull.

But I’m glad I did it. I saw some people I hadn’t seen in ages, and that was great to catch up.

And I’m glad I didn’t stay mired in annoyance. That wouldn’t have done any good for anyone. This was a case where recognizing the emotion and CHOOSING to move on from it made a lot of sense. I didn’t ignore my response. Nor did I pitch a tantrum. I was able to face it and see how it fit into the bigger picture, and make the best choice for me, which turned out to be positive for everybody.

However, if this individual treats the keynote speakers and better-known workshop presenters at the conference this way, it’s going to hurt the organization.

Happily, it is not my problem!

It was still light-ish driving home, which was nice. I had Prince turned up on the radio for a few miles, and then, by the time I got to Yarmouth, I drove through Yarmouth and Barnstable with the windows down singing along with various radio songs at the top of my lungs. Which was really fun.

The abortion ban in Alabama is disgusting. So are the bans in Georgia and Ohio. I am sick and tired of old white male religious zealots trying to control me. And who are bound and determined to kill me if I don’t “behave.” They must be stopped. Especially when they give rapists more rights than rape victims.

The level of corruption in our government is appalling. Russia is delighted.

Last night, I dreamed about a large tree falling. It woke me, and I was upset, but I managed to get back to sleep. When I looked it up, it said it indicated that I’m “on the wrong path.” Which path is wrong? I’m preparing to make several major changes over the coming months. Is it warning me where I am at this moment is wrong (which I know) or that the options I’m looking at are wrong? So now I’m really confused and worried.

Today, I’m working on ELLA BY THE BAY, GRAVE REACH, and the articles. I hope I can polish the review well enough to send it off, either later today or tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go to yoga.

If the weather holds, I’ll do some yard work.

I have a new Trusted Reader for GRAVE REACH. She’s going to read GR, and I’m going to read her magical realism she’s-not-sure-what-it-is.

I hope the rest of the quotes I requested for articles come in soon, so I can finish them and send them off. My mechanic can’t give me an estimate on the rest of the work without seeing the car. That means losing another day of work to go to Plymouth, and then losing another day of work when repairs are actually done. Whereas if I have them done here, at the original estimate, they will drive me to and from work and home. The money I lose by losing those days in Plymouth will even out what I’d save in actual repair costs. So I’m not sure what to do.

I have some more pitches to finesse and send out. I was about to send out a short story to a market, only to find it closed early this reading period. Oh, well.

I also have to finish the first draft of the short play that has to go out this month, so it can marinate for a few days before revisions, and polish “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” so it can go out next week.

One step at a time. That’s the best I can do.

Tues. April 23, 2019: Just Trying to Keep Juggling

Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Waning Moon
Jupiter Retrograde

Yesterday was Earth Day. It was kind of rainy and gloomy here. One of these days, my time off and the weather will align. It wasn’t yesterday.

The weekend was busy, yet there isn’t much of interest to write about. I spent the bulk of it polishing my presentation for the weekend, and putting together the handout packets.

Time not spent on the presentation was spent working on contest entries. I’m in good shape with them, and there are some exciting books to consider as finalists.

Did some percolating on a few ideas; did some percolating on GRAVE REACH, but not much writing on it. Wrestled with “Aurora Nightingale” — but still not satisfied.

I like the way GRAVE REACH is working — I’m kind of a little bit in love with Sam, my male protagonist, which is a good thing!

Re-read what I have of THE TIE-CUTTER yesterday. It’s good, and is a book I’d like to get back to, once my contracted deadlines are cleared out.

I pitched an article on Friday; if it’s accepted, I can turn it around pretty fast. The editor requested an outline. For a 600 word article, that seems a little much (especially since I’ve written for this publication a half a dozen times), but hey, that’s what the editor wants, so that’s what the editor gets.

Didn’t make it to meditation yesterday; 4 PM just doesn’t work for me on many a Monday. I still sit at home, though. Every day. And I’ve packed my travel yoga mat for the conference. I’ll keep to my yoga and meditation practice there, too.

Client work will be stressful this week, because my client is going on a big trip and we have to get everything ready and out ahead of time. I’m trying to keep myself prepared both mentally and physically for this week’s challenges.

And keep writing.

 

Published in: on April 23, 2019 at 5:49 am  Comments Off on Tues. April 23, 2019: Just Trying to Keep Juggling  
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Fri. April 19, 2019: Trying to Stay On Track

Friday, April 19, 2019
Full Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

Yesterday was not as productive as I’d like. I got out a few LOIs, handled some admin work, worked on “Aurora Nightingale” and my presentation. I still can’t get those two scenes where I want them. It’s very frustrating. But I have to keep at it. I’m going to go some more research on current events. That should help.

Worked on contest entries in the afternoon and evening. Just felt tired and discouraged, but better for being off line for a good part of the day.

I’m trying to juggle everything that has to be done before I leave for the workshop. The hotel stuff gets more and more frustrating and complicated. I’m remembering why I dislike that hotel so much.

But the workshop will be fun.

I’m trying to track down monies owed that are late — so sick of this. We all have bills to pay. Pay on time and let everyone else pay their bills on time.

We had rain yesterday afternoon, so I couldn’t do yard work. It’s sunny now, but we’re supposed to get another storm. I have things away from home that I can’t put off this morning; I’m hoping the weather will hold for the afternoon.

The weekend is supposed to be a little nasty. But maybe they’ll be wrong, and I can get some yardwork done.

Playing with some ideas that are niggling at me. Getting back into the groove with GRAVE REACH. But the bulk of the focus will be honing the presentation and making sure I have the handouts.

I’m under intense pressure on several different fronts. All I can do is put my head down and do the work.

Have a great weekend, everyone. For those celebrating Easter and Passover, best wishes to you.

Published in: on April 19, 2019 at 9:02 am  Comments Off on Fri. April 19, 2019: Trying to Stay On Track  
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Thurs. April 18, 2019: Some Cycles Are Tougher Than Others

Thursday, April 18, 2019
Day Before Full Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Rainy & cool

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth for the latest on the garden.

It looks like I may be moving webhosts again, or at least when my current term nears expiration. Here I thought A2 hosting was so great. Their price point is perfect. I like their panel. Yet the fact that I can’t access my sites from anywhere I want means they cannot serve my needs. I work on different machines in different locations. That is the nature of my work. I need to be able to access my sites WHENEVER and from WHEREVER I need. But because I don’t do so from a “static IP” address, they claim I triggered a firewall and won’t let me sign in far too often.

Basically, I’m only “allowed” to sign in from a single computer they recognize. Which is not how my life works. Nor am I going to change it to suit them.

They claim this is for “security.” Yet my email accounts have been hacked multiple times by outside sources and they shrug and tell me there’s nothing they can do. But I cannot access the sites for which I’m paying far too often. And ALWAYS when I’m under time pressure.

Which means A2 Hosting cannot meet my needs, and I must look elsewhere. Which is a shame, because there are so many things I like about them. The plan has to be affordable, allow me to run unlimited websites and unlimited email accounts, and also allow me to sign in from whatever computer and wherever I am located in the world.

A2 Hosting was great for the transition away from the awful 1&1, and they are light years superior to 1&1. A2 is so much better than Green Geeks. You remember what I nightmare I went through with them when I was trying to transition my sites over a year ago. But A2 Hosting is still not what I need. I am not an IT person or a developer, nor can I afford to have one on-call. I understand most of WordPress and am always learning, but I can’t run my own server. I don’t have the skills. I need shared hosting.

Both InMotion and SiteGround have come highly recommended. They were under consideration for the last move. I may talk to them both again.

I’m really tired of the sales departments of these hosts writing checks the tech department won’t cash. I ask very specific questions when I’m interviewing hosts, and when I’m assured they can and will meet my needs, I expect them so to do. They need to stop lying and misleading in order to land the sale.

I checked out Blue Host and HostGator. They could not meet my needs.

So the search continues. I welcome recommendations. My registrations are now all with Name Silo and I love working with them. No drama. Great customer service. Great prices.

The event I attended the other night was not what I expected, and not for the better. It was presented as a speaker teaching us how to make best use of visuals on social media. Instead, in an hour and a half, the “speaker” — reading from notes she took at someone else’s social media basics workshops — never got beyond joining groups on Facebook. Well, that’s the way it goes sometimes. Now I know.

Wednesday morning, I worked on GRAVE REACH and on my presentation for next week’s NECRWA workshop. Two people I really like have let me know they’ll be in the workshop. It will be great to see some friendly faces.

Had to send an email ending a situation where I feel I’ve been jerked around for a week. It should have been simple and straightforward, and the other person is making Big Drama. Sorry. I keep it on the page and out of my life. The person responded in the evening, wanting to string me along indefinitely. So I said no and ended the situation. It leaves me heart-sore on one level, but I’m tired of the demands in this area of constantly having to accommodate everyone else’s neuroses, and not getting ANY accommodation for ANYTHING ever in return. It’s non-reciprocal, and I’m not participating.

Waiting to hear back from another potential client who told me they’d make a decision at the end of last week. I’m assuming they’re still negotiating with their first choice. We’ll see what happens. On the fence about whether I’d even say yes at this point. If I’m not the first choice, it’s not the right situation for either of us.

Got a weird email back from one of my LOIs, trying to justify making an offer to someone else. Hey, doesn’t matter to me. He’s the one hiring. The email made me think he has hirer’s remorse already. I sent a gracious email back.

Got out some LOIs. Had to sent a follow up email to one of the radio producers, because it’s been nearly a month and no check yet. Professional protocol is that the check goes out the day of or the day after the final performance. Not whenever someone feels like getting around to it.

I’m weary and exhausted from all the crap.

It’s all cycles. I had a strong cycle a couple of weeks ago, and now it’s more difficult. I have to acknowledge the frustration, the anger, the pain instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. I have to sort through each situation logically and figure out the best way to respond, handle, extricate, or move forward. Then I have to take the actions so to do.

My life is mine. It is not to be lived for others’ convenience or agendas.

I’m invited to another event next week, and I doubt I’ll attend. Why bother? It’ll be same old, same old. Lots of meaningless chatter in the moment, no follow-through. Then, when I follow through, trying to get me to work for nothing. That’s the pattern here. I’m not playing the game anymore.

Working on contest entries, working on GRAVE REACH, working on “Aurora Nightingale.” I still can’t get those two scenes where I want them.

Tempted to work on GAMBIT COLONY, although I really shouldn’t. But working on that piece is a great stress reliever.

Working on the presentation. I think it will be a lot of fun next weekend. I’m not happy about being in the last slot of the day, when I’m at my lowest energy, but hey, someone had to be in it, so why not me? I’ll pace myself during the day and then pull up the energy and leave it all out in the room when it’s my turn.

I had hoped to have four solid days to do yard work, but it will be raining the entire time I have off. I need to get into better alignment with the weather, so I can get the yard done!

Going to do some policy work with a few people later today. That will make me feel better. Doing something that might actually make a positive difference somewhere.

So, yeah, going through a few tough days. It will even out eventually. In the meantime, I’m frustrated and exhausted and disheartened.

 

Published in: on April 18, 2019 at 9:06 am  Comments Off on Thurs. April 18, 2019: Some Cycles Are Tougher Than Others  
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Wed. April 17, 2019: Destruction of Beauty

Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde

Hop on over to Ink-Dipped Advice for a piece on goals.

I’d already scheduled Tuesday’s blog for posting and was away from anywhere I could update it when word came about the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Watching the footage of the spire falling was devastating. The whole thing was devastating.

I am not a fan of organized religion. I believe spirituality is important, but religion can taint it. I think more atrocity is committed in the name of religion than anything else, and distrust the way it is used to control the populace. However, people have the right to their beliefs, as long as they don’t impose them on others. And this is Holy Week, the week between Palm Sunday and Easter, which has deep meaning to many.

I’ve visited Notre Dame. Many years ago, but the sense of beauty and genuine awe (not the overused “awesome” that’s become a meaningless throwaway) still stay with me. The sense of centuries of history and passion and fervor translated into such beauty. The stained glass windows.

One of my uncles, a respected artist in Europe, used to work in stained glass. On one of my few visits, he showed me how it was done. The painstaking process melding art and math and planning astonished me.

This incident is heartbreaking.

I hope the investigation into the cause will be thorough and relentless.

Client work was exhausting the past two days, and will be so today. I’ve been working on “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” and “Dashed Dreams” and GRAVE REACH. Each one presents some unique challenges. I’m annoyed with myself for struggling so much on “Aurora Nightingale.” I have the craft — why am I having trouble implementing it?

Of course, a few pages here and there on GAMBIT COLONY is how I de-stress.

I’m working steadily on the contest entries. I’m polishing up my presentation for the Character Closet workshop on NECRWA, which is at the end of next week.

I’m waiting to hear back on a few other things that make me feel like I’m in limbo, although part of me just wants to shrug and move on. Disappointing, but that’s the way it goes. The right opportunities will come my way, and I have to remain alert and aware enough to recognize them. The “rehearsal opportunities” — things that don’t work out – -give me a chance to learn something I can apply to things that do work out.

Got annoyed with a thread by a guy (of course) tweeting a thread about watching one woman treat another woman badly in a cafe. He just sat there, tweeting, and did nothing, although speaking up for the woman who was treated badly could have put a stop to the whole situation. The more I read his thread, the angrier I got with him. You don’t just stand by and observe injustice. You speak up. Or you are an accomplice. So what if he thought it was great material for his next piece? He had an obligation as a decent human being to intervene.

Or maybe he showed us all he is both a coward and not a decent human being.

The grass looks good after a few days’ rain. I hope the weather holds, so I can do more yard work. I’m going to have to mow pretty soon. But I’m ahead of the game this year, with a mower I actually like. If I can start early enough and keep up, it will all be fine.

Tomorrow, I will blog about my time at the Cape Cod Digital Artists event.

For now, it’s off to work with a client, and then back to the page. Or, if the weather’s good enough, in the yard for an hour or so.

Published in: on April 17, 2019 at 6:01 am  Comments Off on Wed. April 17, 2019: Destruction of Beauty  
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Tues. April 16, 2019: Trying to Get It Done

Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde

Hop on over to A Biblio Paradise to read about my next adventure in the Reader Expansion Challenge.

Busy weekend.

I didn’t get in as much yardwork as I wanted. I got a little bit done on Friday, before the rain started, and then again on Sunday, before the rain started.

I had a meeting Friday afternoon, which left me feeling lukewarm about the whole situation. It should have been very simple, but wasn’t.

Also, unless someone is planning to date me or sleep with me, asking about my marital status is irrelevant. I find it an insulting question. And I’m starting to push back when people ask. I thought that was not allowed anymore in interviews.

Saturday morning, up early, and got Tessa to the vet to get her shots updated. She was vocal in the car — first time ever. I guess, since Iris is no longer around to yowl, Tessa feels she has to pick up the slack. The visit went well; Tessa was good. Then, we headed home, and she was fine.

The day was rainy and yucky, so I focused on working on contest entries.

Sunday morning, I did a little bit of work on GAMBIT COLONY. I worked on contest entries. I went grocery shopping. It was a gorgeous day.

Took yard waste to the dump.

I went to Country Gardens and got pansies for the front, three kinds of lettuce, and parsley, then got potting soil. I potted the herbs and vegetables, put pansies in the front baskets and the barrel, and raked out the front beds. Cut back a lot of invasives that took up residence over the winter.

Sat outside on the deck for a bit, reading. Steven Axelrod’s newest, NANTUCKET COUNTERFEIT, is excellent.

Dinner, more WEST WING. I did not watch the premiere of the last season of GAME OF THRONES. It’s a magnificent production, but I stopped watching a few years ago due to the unrelenting cruelty. It’s great that people love it so much; always glad when art has that power. But I choose not to watch it anymore. I don’t denigrate those who love it; I don’t accept anyone denigrating me because I don’t.

Storm started Sunday night, and was bad into Monday. Monday was Patriot’s Day here in MA, and the Boston Marathon. I felt for the runners. Miserable weather. And tornado warnings in New York.

Got some work done on “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” but I’m still not satisfied. I have to keep working it until I get it right. Also worked on “Dashed Dreams” the Straw Hat Circuit radio play.

Worked with a client for a few hours yesterday on site, and am back there again today.

Have to get material to the organizers of the talk I’m giving in mid-May. It’s a panel discussion. Should be interesting, but part of me is wishing I hadn’t committed. But I did and I’ll see it through.

Am reconciling myself to disappointment on a couple of fronts, and feeling a bit discouraged.

Considering going to an event this evening, but I have to see how I feel. I don’t know if I can summon up the energy for yet another new group of people.

Back to the page.

Published in: on April 16, 2019 at 5:03 am  Comments Off on Tues. April 16, 2019: Trying to Get It Done  
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Fri. April 12, 2019: Long Weekend Needs to Be Productive

Friday, April 12, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Cloudy and cool

Got some yard work done yesterday, which was a good thing. Compared with how much still needs to be done, it doesn’t look like I got a lot done, but every bit of progress is progress. I got rid of a lot of invasives, which was not fun, but necessary.

Took my mother to the doctor. She had to have another biopsy done on her leg. Hopefully, she won’t need more surgery.

Worked on contest entries and some other stuff. Behind where I want to be in the writing, and have to push hard this weekend. Also want to finish the material for my workshop. I’m last on the schedule, about which I have mixed feelings. It’s my lowest energy point of the day. But I’ll pull it off.

I need to start putting together the handouts, too. Because, of course, I am the Queen of Handouts.

I’m still not sure if I should do a Power Point presentation, or visual boards, or a mix. I might do both and be prepared.

Still not happy with those two scenes in “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale.”

Waiting to hear back on a couple of things, prepping a couple of pitches. In a holding pattern for a few things, because I can’t move forward until I have more information, and, once I have it, I might have to do some negotiating.

I have a meeting at 2 this afternoon, which could also put a few interesting things into play.

Tomorrow morning, Tessa goes to the vet to get her shots updated (Lucy’s are still good). In the afternoon, I have a sound bath workshop. I can’t wait.

In between, I have to write and do yard work (unless it’s raining). And finish my taxes (ick).

Most important errands this morning are to pick up my mother’s prescription and put gas in the car! All the other errands are build around that.

Monday is Patriot’s Day here in MA, but I’m going in to work with a client on a big project.

Have a great weekend.

Published in: on April 12, 2019 at 8:47 am  Comments Off on Fri. April 12, 2019: Long Weekend Needs to Be Productive  
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Thurs. April 11, 2019: The Attempt to Balance Writing and Yard Work

Thursday, April 11, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth for the latest on the garden.

And, I’m finally on Instagram as @devonellingtonwork.

Not happy that Jupiter’s going retrograde right now. That’s going to create obstacles to what I need in the coming months.

Working steadily on contest entries. Every time I pick up a book, whether it’s judging a contest or to write a review or to read for pleasure, I want to fall in love with it. That moment before opening the cover is so exciting.

The stress of the week is getting to me, but I’m trying to plod on. The next few months are going to be over-the-top for stress, and all I can do is mitigate as much as possible.

Appointment this morning, then I take my mom to the doctor, then yard work (if the weather holds), then writing. And contest entries.

I have to get back to purging the basement soon, too.

I’m not happy with the second half of “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” and am ripping it apart and working on it. It’s lost the farcical tone. I rewrote most of the second half yesterday morning, before I headed in to work with my client. The third-to-last and second-to-last scene still need more work. But it’s better. It’s still not where I want it to be, though.

I need to spend some quality time with the books I got from the library about luxury ocean liners, and researching the top news stories of the time in which it’s set.

I was exhausted when I got home yesterday from the client. I may have to stop in for about an hour to fix something on a big project I sent out, because the file was so big, I had to use Maildrop, and I’m not sure the recipient CAN use Maildrop.

A bunch of ideas are spinning, and I’m trying to see which ones are worth pursuing, while still keeping up with what I need to keep up with. That’s why the “Whatever” notebook I started last month is such a help. I just scribble notes on whatever comes to mind, with the date, and then I see if it’s worth developing.

Woke up a little after 3 AM this morning, so I’m going to be cooked — again – -by mid-afternoon.

Back to the page.

Published in: on April 11, 2019 at 8:40 am  Comments Off on Thurs. April 11, 2019: The Attempt to Balance Writing and Yard Work  
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