Tues. Dec. 15, 2020: Die For Your Employer Day 209 — Good News and a Re-Release

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Waxing Moon

Uranus Retrograde

Cloudy and cold

Today is the re-release of “The Ghost of Lockesley Hall” a romantic holiday novelette. There’s a post about it up on A Biblio Paradise, and you can also find links on The Stories page here.

Thursday, I went over to the hospital early for the COVID test – drive-through, easy peasey. It’s a few seconds of discomfort, but worth it. Then home, and working on client work and making sure “Lockesley” was set to go.

Talked to the hospital in the early afternoon for my final instructions, and then had to do the prep. The doctor had insisted on the high-end medication, not the generic this time. It didn’t make me sick and convinced that I wouldn’t survive to make it to the surgery, much less through the surgery. It was much better, all the way around. I even got a few hours of sleep.

I didn’t have to go to the hospital until late morning, so I just stayed home and read. It was nearly 36 hours without solid food by the time I got there, and I was a little loopy. I also had my temperature scanned four times before I was allowed into pre-op., I even had some of the same nurses.

Everyone was very nice, pre-op went smoothly, and the IV even went in on the first try. Pre-op was busy; it was the last day of surgeries before the state closed down to any but emergency surgeries due to the pandemic.

The doctor and I chatted, I was put under, and next thing I knew they were bringing me out.

Coming back out was a little eerie, because they were disinfecting and then shutting down the bays. Only two lights were left on when I came out — mine and the person who was still in surgery. Everything else was dark and silent.

And I have the all-clear. They got all the cancer, and there was no recurrence in the past six months. I am the poster child for early detection.

I have a sheaf of instructions what to look for, but I don’t need to worry about another check for five years, if none of the symptoms recur. What a relief!

A few more tests for other things in January, and I might actually be on the road to healing, after a year of two different cancer scares.

I’m loopy as all get out, though, and can’t seem to lose the brain fog from anesthesia, even several days later.

I’m still a little uncomfortable, and will be for about a week, and who knows how long I’ll have brain fog?

Went home and rested on Friday. Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a little loopy, but pretty good. The hospital called to check on me, and warn me to take it easy for a few days.

Of course, I didn’t.

I dived into the baking. I baked 10 dozen orange cranberry cookies and 9 dozen oatmeal lace cookies, and was wiped out. I spent the afternoon in bed again.

Sunday, I didn’t feel great, but I hauled myself to the grocery store, where the clerk gave me a hard time about shopping for more than one person and paying separately. Now, I’ve been doing this since the pandemic started. If I do a grocery run, I contact neighbors, and if they need something, I get it. I’m often shopping for three or four people, keeping it organized separately, and pay separately. Trader Joe’s always thinks it’s cool, and none of the other stores have ever given me a hard time.

But this clerk did. And I was not up for it. But I just nodded and smiled. She’s having a bad day – she has a lot to deal with. I’ll just avoid her if we’re in the store again at the same time.

Home decontaminated everything and myself. Prepped the dough for the molasses spice cookies and for the chocolate crinkle cookies. Rested, then started baking in the afternoon – 11 dozen chocolate chip, 9 dozen molasses spice, 11 dozen chocolate crinkle.

I made a mistake on the chocolate crinkle, which I will talk about in Comfort and Contradiction this week, but it worked anyway.

But I was exhausted.

I made a pasta and vegetable dish, and used pesto made with basil from our garden, which was delicious.

But I was wiped out.

Yesterday, I felt a little woozy, but I went into the office on my own and got some of the shipping done. Home, decontaminated, and spent the rest of the day in bed.

I moved back upstairs to sleep last night (although the sofa bed is still out – will probably keep it out for another day or two, so I can rest during the day). This morning, I have to do a Trader Joe’s run, since we have a major storm coming in tomorrow.

I have some client work, promotion for “Lockesley”, and then I have to work on “Mistletoe” and the revisions on the two plays that need to go out this week.

Plenty to do. Let’s hope I have the energy.

But the good news from the doctor is such a huge relief. I still have some more challenges after the first of the year, but this cancer is gone. Early detection, friends, never discount it.

Thurs. Dec. 10, 2020: Die For Your Employer Day 204/Isolation Day 5 into Quarantine — Preparations

image courtesy of pixabay.com

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Waning Moon

Uranus Retrograde

Cloudy and cold

We had a little more snow yesterday evening. It was lovely – just enough to be pretty, not enough to shovel.

I had a strong creative day. I wrote the entire first draft of the Isabella Goodwin play, “Family Layers” in the morning. It’s only 20 pages, but it’s a good piece. It still needs some work, but it holds together, and it’s flowing well, so there we are. I’m happy with it, and I will be even happier when I do another few drafts over the weekend and early next week, and send it off.

Two short plays written in two days. That feels good. That makes me feel more like myself again.

I also got a bit of client work done – the big marketing proposal is polished and out. One client refuses to make the decisions she needs to make in order for me to plan the campaigns she needs to generate income. That’s on her, not me. Got some LOIs out. Remote chat was fun, using photo prompts.

I got an acceptance for the flash fiction piece I wrote for the WEIRD CHRISTMAS anthology about the Icelandic Yule Cat. I’m pleased. It’s a goofy little piece, but the editor said it made him laugh, which was the point.

The hospital called to set my COVID test for today – 7:45 this morning. As soon as I post this, I have to go get dressed and head out. It’s over at the hospital, not up at the college, although the scheduler said they’ll be moving the site in the next few days to accommodate more people. But, for today, I go to the hospital where they have drive-through testing set up in the parking lot.

Then, I got a text message from the hospital about Friday with the time – later than I’d like, but too bad for me. Unfortunately, they had it down as the wrong procedure. I called the pre-op nurse, and we got it sorted.

I go in later than I’d like, which means I’ll be home later than I’d like, which means today and tomorrow will be very long, stressful days. One step at a time, that’s all I can do.

I hope to come back from the test and decontaminate this morning in time to join the Zoom meditation, but who knows? Then I’m in full quarantine, even from other household members (except the cats) until I walk into the hospital. We set up the fold out couch for me to use today and tomorrow. Charlotte is delighted. It will be nice to recover sleeping next to the Yule tree.

One step at a time.

I was on a restricted diet yesterday, and I’m on a liquid diet today, and then the medication starting this evening, which means I’ll be up and miserable all night. And tomorrow will be a long morning until I get into the hospital.  But I really want to get it over with before they shut surgeries down in the state tomorrow.

My landlord let me know that the rent check turned up yesterday – the one that was supposedly lost – AFTER I ran another check up to his house. Of course it did. Heaven forbid he miss a chance to pile on more stress whenever I have a medical procedure coming up. Remember in March, when I had to have the “assessment” done on the day of my follow-up from the first surgery, and then, later, he admitted it wasn’t even necessary? I’m so sick of this.

I hope to get back to tackling Lockesley again this afternoon. If I can get enough work on it, and sign off, I won’t have to worry about it while I’m recovering, and can turn my attention to the Nina Bell pieces.

The best thing I can also do for myself in the next few days is limit my time on social media. I just can’t take the emotional labor right now. There are plenty of people with whom I interact who are a joy, but too many morons push their way into positive interactions in order to poison them, and I can’t handle it right now. It’s bad enough that I am the ONLY one on my street who ever wears a mask.

I have some books to read to get me through the next few days, including the book for review, and Yasmine Galenorn’s new release, Starlight Web, along with a stack of magazines on which I need to catch up.

I need to do whatever I need to do in order to get through the next few days. I should have been baking this week, but I didn’t have the physical or emotional energy to do so. I will start over the weekend, I hope, and then deliver cookies next week. Fewer than usual, but they will get done.

Peace, friends, have a good weekend, and I’ll catch up with you on the other side. If you can spare a positive thought for me today and tomorrow, I could use it. The results of the surgery could go either way. Thanks.

Tuesday, Feb. 18, 2020: Preparation

Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Waning Moon
Mercury Retrograde

Yup, Mercury’s gone retrograde just before I have surgery. On the one hand, it’s not a good time for surgery; on the other hand, Mercury retrograde is about resolving issues hanging on and preventing one from moving forward, and that’s a good definition for what I’m going through, so I’ll work with it. Plus, it’s happening just a few days before the dark moon, so that’s going to help with the blood loss. (The closer to the full moon, the heavier any bleeding, because blood is our interior tide).

Friday morning, as I stated in Friday’s post, I had my pre-op, got some stuff done at the library. I told my book review editor I’d have the other book review for her on Monday, and what was going on; she was very supportive. Even getting in the review yesterday, it was early. Sent off the big article, and told that editor what was going on, and that I could turn edits around early in the week, but otherwise it would have to wait until next week. Haven’t heard anything from her. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, that she took Friday as well as Monday as part of the long holiday weekend, but I’ve gotten the article to her FIVE DAYS EARLY. If she comes at me tomorrow to turn it around — no. It’s the day before my surgery. If I get it today, I could turn it around tonight and send it off tomorrow, but if it comes tomorrow, it has to wait until next week. I busted my ass and used up most of my energy to get it in to her early. (Update: she’s being lovely and supportive, so my worries are for naught — details in tomorrow’s post).

I’ve been working with my book editors on new deadlines — I can’t be in galleys and final revisions right now. We have to adjust. They’re 100% supportive. We’re also talking about whether and/or how to handle the Corona virus in The Nautical Namaste Series. There are several different routes we could take, although I doubt any of them will show up in DAVY JONES DHARMA at this point. We are discussing how what I’m going through now will add some depth to one of the subplots in BALTHAZAAR TREASURE.

Went in to my client’s late Friday morning, and we finished the designs for the 2021 collections and sent them to Thailand. She goes next week.

Came home around 1 PM and hit the wall. I slept most of the afternoon, and even the most basic tasks were just too much work.

Ate — I’m making sure I eat, whether I feel like it or not. Watched the last of THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW. Went to bed early.

Had trouble sleeping. Up on Saturday. Had my mom drive to us to the grocery store, so we got a few additional things for the coming week. Made apricot/honey/almond/orange bread. Researched iron-rich foods. Taking too much of the iron supplement makes me sick, so I’m taking slightly less supplement, with more iron-rich foods. Turns out I like a lot of them, and have been craving them anyway.

Worked on the book for review. Napped in the afternoon (and people who know me know I am not a napper). Tessa purred beside me.

Made the sardine/fennel pasta from Dorie Greenspan’s book. It’s yummy. Felt better about a half hour after eating it.

Wasn’t up to watching DVDs, so read instead.

Charlotte and Willa are both worried. They lost their original human to illness, so every time they smell hospital or medicine on me, they worry.

The arm the CT port/IV technician hurt on Wednesday looks AWFUL, is still horribly bruised, and I have trouble using my right arm.

Slept so-so. Didn’t feel up to making the whole wheat bread. The medication I’m on for the moment has side effects, which are starting to get to me, the worst being absolutely ridiculous mood swings. I have to keep reminding myself I’ve lost perspective, and not make long-term decisions until I can think clearly and review all the evidence. I levelled out slightly on Sunday and Monday.

But I was still angry at the paperwork that arrived from the hospital on Saturday, about pre-op prep. I’m responsible for keeping track of my things WHILE I AM UNDER ANESTHESIA IN THE OR or else I should expect everything stolen. Because this hospital is too fucking cheap to have security. There isn’t any. There are signs claiming there are cameras, but no security. Anyone can wander anywhere they want in the hospital at any hour unchallenged. It’s one of the things that has made me uncomfortable every time I’ve had to go there.

I’ll be lucky to have my clothes to return home in.

They can bite me.

I have follow-up tests on the afternoon of the day my landlord wants to have the “home energy assessment.” I told him they can come first thing in the morning, and have to be out of here by 1 PM, or it has to be rescheduled. We HAD this done already. To make us go through a bunch of jackasses stomping through the house again right now is ridiculous. Nothing has changed in the intervening years; everything’s just gotten older. Probably that’s why the landlord is getting it again — because he didn’t do any improvements based on the last one, and is going to pretend it didn’t happen.

Took it easy Sunday. Made arrangements with a friend to pick me up from surgery on Thursday. She’s making it easy-peasy, no drama, which is how it should be. I also specifically asked her because she won’t let the hospital admin bully me on the way out when I’m still trying to get re-oriented after anesthesia, and, based on the pattern of this past week, that’s EXACTLY what they’ll try to do.

Again: bite me.

I was making arrangements with the library the other day, letting them know what was going on, and making sure I get anything back that has holds on it, and extend whatever I need to extend. The librarians wee lovely.

Unfortunately, some random patron eavesdropped and commented, “I can’t stand being around people who are sick. I don’t do sick.”

I turned around and said, “I don’t do assholes, and you aren’t part of my life anyway, so back off.”

Again, since the 2016 Election, people are encourages to be their worst selves. There was no reason that individual had to make ANY comment. The person could have kept her mouth shut or walked away. But no, she had to make a comment, knowing it was inappropriate and hurtful. She deliberately set out to cause harm.

Leaning into my meditation and yoga practices doesn’t mean I’m going to allow people to be deliberately hurtful.

Finished the book for review. Sent off my review yesterday. The next set of books has arrived, and I’m excited to dig into them.

I have a ridiculous amount of books stacked near my recovery area. I ordered more, which I hope will come in by Wednesday — Helene Hanff’s books, which are charming and fun.

Rested and read a lot on Sunday. Roasted a chicken. Noodled with some ideas, but didn’t do any real writing. Got a different, more potent iron supplement that’s already showing me improvement. CVS was selling 30 of the pills for nearly $15. Target had the same one but 180 pills, for $6. Considering I have to take 4 pills/day right now for the next three months, I got it at Target.

Tried to clean up some of the branches that fell from the last storm, but didn’t get too far. Just didn’t have the energy.

Charlotte managed to climb to the top of the big bookcases in my writing room and run around along them. She’s very proud of herself.

Started watching MURDERLAND. The acting is wonderful, but I don’t like the fractured storytelling and repetition from different angles. A little bit is great, but this is too much. From the two points of view? Great. But the same scene from the two points of view repeated six times? No, thanks. Structurally, the storytelling doesn’t work for me.

Woke up about 4:30 on Monday. Didn’t feel too bad. My injured arm is still in bad shape.

Went in to work with my client for a few hours. I can’t afford to miss work. I don’t work, I don’t get paid, and I need money coming in right now.

If I hear one more news “report” about the lack of skilled workers, I will scream. There are plenty of skilled workers. It’s HR that’s useless, only interested in running resumes through algorithms & treating people badly in interviews. They want skilled workers? Don’t insult them with stupid tests and demands for unpaid labor. Want to retain your workers? Pay them fairly and treat them like human beings. It’s not that hard.

I’m playing each work day by ear right now. Working until I get tired, then stopping. Doing a little writing, but not much. A friend sent a draft of her screenplay to read while I recover — can’t wait.

Planning on going in to work with a client for a bit today. Will swing by the library to drop off/pick up books. When I go home, we’re going to vacuum the house and mop floors, so everything is clean. Tomorrow, when I come home, we will set up the living room as my recovery room.

I won’t know when I’m going in on Thursday until late Wednesday.

I have some placeholder posts scheduled, but I don’t expect to post much until sometimes next week (I’ll have something go live tomorrow).

I just have to survive each day, before I worry about the next one.

Published in: on February 18, 2020 at 7:10 am  Comments Off on Tuesday, Feb. 18, 2020: Preparation  
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