Thurs. Oct. 10, 2019: Cats Coming Out of Their Shells

Thursday, October 10, 2019
Waxing Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Rainy and chilly

Hop on over to see the latest on Gratitude and Growth. Not much to tell, but still. . .it’s there. Consistency is important, correct?

The cats officially have new names. The one I’ve referred to as New Kitty #1 is now Willa, for Willa Cather: smart, independent, resourceful. Willa wasn’t even one of the names originally considered: we had it narrowed down to Jane or Clara. But we came up with Willa, and she likes it, so Willa she is.

New Kitty #2 is Charlotte, for Charlotte Bronte and the various feisty Princess Charlottes over the centuries. Charlotte is stubborn, determined, and a bit of a diva. She picked her name early on; Willa was more difficult to name.

They are doing well. Tessa keeps them in line. Willa is exploring more than Charlotte is. Willa comes out to play. She’s even started asking for pets, started purring, and, yesterday morning, she sat in my lap while I typed. Willa even made friends with my mom, and now asks her for pets, too.

Charlotte is still figuring things out and wondering why no one pays any attention to her tantrums. But then, she came into the house two days after Willa did. Charlotte will get there. We won’t rush her. We’ll let her figure it out in her own time.

Tessa keeps unpacking Charlotte’s toy box and playing with her toys, just to prove she can.

As soon as they are comfortable enough to have their pictures taken, I will do so.

They haven’t even lived here a week, so I think they’re doing well. I’m sure there will be bumps in the road, but that’s the way it goes. The less we fuss at them, the faster they adjust.

I got some good writing in on Wednesday morning. Then headed in to a client’s.

I was invited to a chamber event on Wednesday night, at a new restaurant. I knew I SHOULD go, but I didn’t really want to. I mean, we had a nor’easter coming in.I also realized I need to make new business cards with the new logo. And the new contact address, to replace the hacked one.

This is scheduled to post because  I have a meeting first thing this morning, about potential projects. Tomorrow’s post will also be late, because I have another meeting, with a different potential client about a project.

The weekend is about writing, socializing the cats, and working on cleaning out boxes from the basement.

 

Published in: on October 10, 2019 at 5:09 am  Leave a Comment  
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Thurs. Oct. 3, 2019: Perhaps a Moment of Respite?

Thursday, October 3, 2019
Waxing Moon
Pluto DIRECT
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Drizzly and chilly

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth to catch up on the latest with the garden.

If you didn’t get a chance, hop on over to Ink-Dipped Advice for yesterday’s post about trusting your instincts in early meetings/job interviews.

I had a bizarre experience on Tuesday night going into Wednesday. I was awakened by odd music a little before 4 AM. I could have sworn someone was on the deck. At first, I thought someone was stealing my wind chimes, but it sounded like playing a pennywhistle or something. Came up on the deck for a bit, then moved away. I should have gotten up and checked what it was, but it was too creepy.

When I came down in the daylight, everything was fine.

It was disturbing.

Yesterday was busy at my client’s. She’ll be away next week, and right before she goes is always chaos.

The Remote Chat was fun. It always is.

Came home exhausted. Tessa was busy and kept us going. We have a lead on an adoption that I hope will happen over the next week or so. So far, the conversations have been really good.

I’ve been lucky to have steady, good writing sessions every day, in and around client work. That always helps keep me on keel. Show up at the page; do the work. Stay creative.

I had a good first writing session. I haven’t worked on ELLA for the past few days, because I’m on deadline with another two projects, which had priority. I’m looking forward to getting back to it early next week, though.

I’m working at the library for a bit, and then I’ll go back to my own desk (where I’m most productive), and get back to the page. I want to get the radio play polished and out.

There’s still high stress in certain other areas of my life, so, of course, I use GAMBIT COLONY to ease it. It’s not time that would be spent on the deadlined work; it’s time I’d spent fretting. Instead of fretting, I’m creating.

I’m absolutely dreading the upcoming Mercury Retrograde at the end of the month, especially combined with the ongoing Neptune and Uranus retrogrades. Plus, the whole being in my second Saturn Return.

All those people who told me in my first Saturn Return that the second one would be easier? They lied.

Tomorrow’s post will be late, because I have to take the car in for an oil change.

Anyway, one word in front of the other, and, eventually, it gets done. Back to the page.

Thurs. Sept. 26, 2019: Working To Regain Equilibrium

Thursday, Sept. 26, 2019
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Sunny moving to rain

It’s been a tough week, and I hope the next few days will even everything out.

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth to find out the latest about the garden.

Not enough writing done, although I’m happy with the quality of what I wrote. Client challenges, not bad, just stuff that had to be dealt with. Too much stupidity and nastiness on social media. I am a big fan of the block button. I am not required to keep toxic people in my life or on my feed. My time and energy is better spent on other types of engagement.

Although, as always, the Remote Chat was terrific. What a great group of people.

I read A BETTER MAN by Louise Penny. As always, I love Jean-Guy, I love Three Pines, the third person omniscient point of view doesn’t always work for me. Although she does it better than almost any author I can think of, and when writers want to study third person omniscient POV that works, I suggest this series.

I’m reading THE ENCHANTMENT EMPORIUM by Tanya Huff. I’m pretty sure I’ve read it before. It feels familiar. Really enjoying it, whether it’s a read or a re-read!

Trying to wrestle the climactic scene and the respite scene of the radio play into submission, so I can do a final polish and send it off. Trying to wrestle the edits for GRAVE REACH into submission.

I have a noon meeting with a potential new client. I like the company, but it will be about if what I’m good at is what they need, and we’re compatible. If that’s the case, then there are location logistics to work out.

We are still all grieving Lucy’s loss. We have not found another rescue to bring in yet. The policy of shelters around here of rescues having to be only pets in the household is simply unrealistic (especially for our household) and completely ignores our decades’ long history of successful rescue adoption and integration. It’s frustrating. And it is not, in every case, in the best interest of the animals. Meanwhile, Tessa gets more and more depressed BECAUSE she’s the only cat in the household at the moment.

I have to trust that the right cat will enter at the right time. It’s always been that way.

And now, I have to get back to the page.

 

Thurs. Sept. 19, 2019: Focus Back on the Writing

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image courtesy of voltamax via pixabay.com

Thursday, September 19, 2019
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Partly cloudy and cool

Hop on over to see the latest on the garden in Gratitude and Growth.

I had terrible nightmares Tuesday night into Wednesday. I dreamed someone was casting fishing line and I got a fishhook in my face.

Good work on ELLA yesterday morning and this morning. GRAVE REACH is going well, too.

Yesterday was a loooong day at my client’s, not just because I had to go in an hour early for a meeting. Part of it was that I had a migraine; another was that I’d had an excellent session directly before on GRAVE REACH, and it was difficult to switch headspaces.

As usual, the Remote Chat was outstanding. Owl Labs has put together a report on remote work. I downloaded it and look forward to reading it.

NIGHTMARE IN PINK, the next Travis McGee, was also frustrating when it comes to the female characters. There’s some gorgeous writing, such as calling cubicle offices “people kennels.” But the women in the books are awful. And McGee self-romanticizes his obsession with sex. He pretends not to objectify the women he screws and leaves, but he does. He justifies it to himself. He can lie to himself; he can lie to them; I’m not buying what he’s selling. I might have when I was twenty. But I know better now.

I listened to the radio broadcast of “Horace House Hauntings” that was done in Florida last spring. It went well. In spite of the gaffe made by one of the actors, who was so charming he took the audience along with him and they applauded when he recovered, overall, it went well. So I damn well better get “Pier-less Crime” polished and out to them.

I have a commitment tomorrow, so I may not blog here. But you can hop on over to Affairs of the Pen, the Ava Dunne blog, where I talk about creating the passenger ensemble for Savasana at Sea. Another Upbeat Authors post will be up on Monday, which is the Equinox. Then we’ll really notice how early it gets dark.

Have a great weekend.

Thurs. Sept. 12, 2019: Trying to Get Back on Track

Thursday, Sept. 12, 2019
Waxing Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Monsoon-like rains

Sorry this is late, but the weather’s thrown a monkey wrench into things this morning. Tomorrow’s post will be late, too, because I have a morning meeting.

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth, for the latest on the garden. And if you didn’t see Monday’s post about Flexibility on the GDR site, it’s here. I’m working on the questions for 2020, and they will be posted soon.

It’s been a tough week. We miss Lucy terribly. Tessa steps up, trying to take care of everyone in the household, but she misses Lucy, too.

One of my clients was at a luncheon with the head of Bide-A-Wee, where I adopted several of my cats when I lived in NYC. She got us in touch, and Leslie looks forward to helping me find the next member of our feline family when we’re ready. It means going to NY, but I’m established with Bide-A-Wee, and they don’t automatically mark every cat as “must be only pet” as they do here.

We are, of course, open to a cat coming to us from another source, but it’s nice to know we have options.

The writing has been a struggle. I’m close to the end of this draft of GRAVE REACH and am pushing through. I’m working slowly but steadily on ELLA BY THE BAY. I’m working slowly and not quite as steadily on “Pier-less Crime”. I’ve also been playing with another idea that’s pulled at me and pulled at me.

I have a meeting early tomorrow morning. I like what I know of the company, but wasn’t thrilled with the interactions with the person I’ll be talking to tomorrow. We’ll see. I’m getting jaded. Most of these appointments are a complete waste of time. They’re about putting quotas into the statistics column, not actually finding the right person for an assignment or a marketing campaign. It’s a waste of time.

I’m getting more and more frustrated with A2 hosting. Now, when I have a question, I have to jump through multiple levels of “security” that has nothing to do with actual security and everything to do with asking me questions that are none of their damn business. Not to mention not actually reading my questions and answering them. Or providing any actual security against spam or anything else. Any random hacker can do whatever they want to my sites. But me? The owner who actually pays for them? Not so much.

A social media contact sent me the link to an article about how A2 has had security breaches since May of this year and isn’t fixing them. Yeah, that’s about when the problems started.

So I’m back to interviewing hosts again. I like what I see and hear so far with Site Ground. I want to have a more detailed conversation with them and maybe move everything over in a few months.

Working on LOIs and some more article pitches. Just so, so weary and sad.

But the Fearless Ink Twitter account I started to keep the business writing part of my social media life separate from everything else is working out well. And the Remote Chat yesterday was tons of fun, as usual. I feel very lucky with these colleagues.

Yesterday, September 11, was difficult, as it is every year. What was especially sickening was that the Narcissistic Sociopath tried to make it all about him, and those damn GOP hypocrites, talking about honor and remembrance, when just a few weeks ago, they tried to deny health care to those who came in and worked on the pile. I hope they all burn in hell for eternity.

I’m nearly finished reading Nancy Martin’s Blackbird Sisters mysteries. They are a lot of fun. I like her writing. It has a lot of energy, warmth, and humor in it. Plus, she’s a good plotter. It’s also fun to read books set in an area I know — Philadelphia and Bucks County.

I made chocolate chip cookies last night just because. Sometimes, you just need a chocolate chip cookie.

Back to the page.

Published in: on September 12, 2019 at 9:08 am  Comments Off on Thurs. Sept. 12, 2019: Trying to Get Back on Track  
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Fri. Aug. 30, 2019: Here Comes the Holiday!

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Image courtesy of PhotoMIX Company via pixabay

Friday, August 30, 2019
New Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

Got some work done yesterday. Told the “potential” client that was trying to get me to jump through a bunch of hoops before I actually talked to anyone involved in the project that wasn’t the environment for me. I’m glad I did. I was polite, firm, and direct.

Got ahead on some blog posts. I’m starting Kemmyrk again, now that the 2020 Almanacs are out, and I just submitted my article for the 2021 piece. Here’s an article yesterday on the Dark Moon. And today, there’s an article on the New Moon. The blog won’t have a designated day, but it will go by the phases of the moon, and talk about tarot, etc. I hope you enjoy it.

Gratitude and Growth and Ink-Dipped Advice will both be back next week.

I’m going to start up the blog under the Ava Dunne name, too, where I talk about the Nautical Namaste Mysteries. It’s called Affairs of the Pen, and the first post, on how I decided to write SAVASANA AT SEA is here.

I got some good work done on ELLA BY THE BAY. I got an idea for another stand-alone suspense novel, and did a rough outline. I’m behind where I want to be on GRAVE REACH, but I’m doing a big push this weekend, no matter how much I want time off. I can see the end of this draft, I can almost taste it. And I’m running out of time.

Participated in a fun freelance chat yesterday, which reminded me it’s time to prep my autumn postcard mailing. I land more work from the postcard mailing than any other form of marketing.

I also need to finish “Pier-less Crime” and draft the first scene of the Canaletto Sisters play. Coming up with a title for the latter would be great.

Have a lovely Labor Day Weekend, and we’ll check back in on Tuesday, although the blog might go up late.

Take some time to enjoy!

Published in: on August 30, 2019 at 8:54 am  Comments Off on Fri. Aug. 30, 2019: Here Comes the Holiday!  
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Fri. Aug. 16, 2019: The Insolence Never Ceases

Friday, August 16, 2019
Last Day of Full Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

I didn’t post on Gratitude and Growth yesterday. Making up for it today, with just a quick post.

I’m on an antibiotic for the infection in my injured finger. It has about 29 possible side effects. Fortunately, I only have three of the minor ones: it makes me a little giddy, I can’t be in direct sunlight (so I’ll just spend 10 days in a dark corner like a vampire), and I’m thirsty all the time. I was shocked at how much direct sunlight HURTS, even with sunscreen.

Other than that, I feel much better.

I always feel odd the first 48 hours on an antibiotic. I don’t take them often, which means when I do, they hit hard. Which is a good thing.

I came home early yesterday and read, rather than tried to do anything else. I finished the book for review (and will work on the review today).

I also read Lauren Dane’s THE GODDESS BLADE. Loved it. I read it straight through in one sitting. I became acquainted with Lauren via Twitter, and we’ve had some good conversations. It was the first chance I had to read something of hers. I’ve already ordered the second book in the series, as my weekend treat! Unfortunately, because Amazon sucks so badly, it won’t download. It’s bought & paid for, it shows up on my screen with an X. And Amazon, of course, is no help. Update: I figured out a workaround, using two computers at the same time, in order to get it on my Kindle. NOT okay, Amazon.

I’ve been having weird, disturbing dreams lately. Which is weird, since that’s what Lesley experiences in GRAVE REACH, although the source of mine are something else.

There’s way too much idiocy online right now, and way too many idiots intentionally running the country into the ground. It has to stop. And the media needs to stop pandering to the Occupant’s hate rallies.

I blocked quite a few people yesterday. I don’t bother arguing with them. My energy needs to be spent working constructively, not destructively.

Oh, and here’s another volume in the Local Insult Directory:

Local: What did you do on Broadway?

Me: I worked in wardrobe. I was a dresser.

Local: Oh! Can you reupholster a chair for me?

Me: Um, what?

Local: You know, put new fabric on it.

Me: That’s props or set design, not wardrobe.

Local: Fabric’s fabric.

Me: It’s not.

Local: Besides, if I get a professional to do it, it’ll cost $750. But people work in theatre for free because they love it.

Me: Professionals work in theatre because they love making a living at it.

Local: No one gets PAID to do theatre.

Me: I did. For decades.

Local: You can’t expect money for things like this! It’s not real work.

Me: Why not? The professional upholsterer expects to be paid. Why shouldn’t a professional dresser or props person be paid?

Local: Well, you’re not very community-spirited, are you?

Me: I have a zero tolerance policy on grifters.

Bitch is lucky I didn’t slap her into the middle of next week. It’s so typical of the attitude around here. Now, this is a woman who’s never worked a day in her life (she lives off her husband’s money in his multi-million dollar oversized house and has a staff). She can afford to hire an upholsterer. But she wants a theatre person to work for free, because if someone in the theatre does it, it’s not “real work.” And why is working for free for a rich white woman who lives in a mansion considered working for the “community”?

Volunteering at the library or the food pantry or the domestic women’s shelter is working for the “community.” Not reupholstering a rich woman’s chair because she feels she’s entitled to free labor, and entitled to decide what constitutes “work.”

Before you say maybe they’re house-rich and cash-poor — no. Not the case. She only buys/wears designer labels and boasts about their trips to St. Bart’s.

I wish this was the exception around here. But it’s not.

Working on the article, GRAVE REACH, and my review this weekend. And, hopefully, getting better.

Have a great weekend. See you next week!

Published in: on August 16, 2019 at 9:07 am  Comments Off on Fri. Aug. 16, 2019: The Insolence Never Ceases  
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Thurs. Aug. 8, 2019: Writing or Not Writing

Thursday, August 8, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Sunny, hot, humid

If you haven’t hopped over to Ink-Dipped Advice to read the post on Fred’s Interviews, as part of the ongoing freelance parable, hop on over.

There’s also an update on the garden.

Plodding along on both ELLA and GRAVE REACH. I’m happy with what’s happening in both of them; it’s just not happening in the latter quickly enough.

Onsite with a client was fine yesterday. Got a lot done.

The #RemoteChat was excellent. I have such fun with that group.

Two of the research books I ordered arrived (from two different sources). Unfortunately, one of them was the wrong book. I’d ordered a Caribbean cookbook and they sent a library discard Secret Service memoir. Alibris was a nightmare to deal with. I’m more annoyed with them than the actual bookstore, because Alibris kept trying to get me to create a new account in order to report it. No. Don’t force me to create a new account to report a mistake on an existing order. No. I contacted the bookstore directly, too. Mistakes happen, but don’t make me jump through hoops in order to fix them. We’ll see IF they respond, either one of them.

Several people on social media who call themselves “writers” are talking about how they’re not writing and how much freer they feel. We all need breaks, and I’m all for vacations, even when it comes to writing. But if you keep making excuses not to write, if you feel better when you’re not writing — maybe you’re not a writer. Maybe that’s not the creative outlet for you (or the profession for you). Maybe it’s time to hang up the keyboard and spend your time doing something you ENJOY. Maybe it’s time to stop wasting professionals’ time and expecting them to create your career FOR you (these individuals have also made unfair demands of professional, published writers in the past).

Friends of ours are visiting Saturday morning, on their way to Nantucket. They’re planning to buy a house there (after visiting for decades) and will spend more time in this neck of the woods. I’m looking forward to seeing them and catching up.

Decent morning’s writing this morning, on both ELLA and GRAVE REACH. Working on my article for Llewellyn, getting out a couple of article pitches and LOIs.

Spending some time this afternoon with a travel writer friend, catching up on his recent trip to Calgary, before he takes off for Japan. Then, I’ll take a look at another friend’s radio play, and work on some reading for review pieces.

Tomorrow, I plan to get some work done at the library in the morning, then yoga, then house cleaning and cooking in anticipation for our friends.

I also have some dealings with my elected officials this week into next week, to discuss the chaos and corruption and let them know how I feel about it and what I’d like to see done. Our elected officials can’t represent us if we don’t’ tell them where we stand on things.

A lot of the work I’m doing now is internal, which is not particularly interesting to write about or read about. Things will ramp up in the coming weeks, I’m sure.

In the meantime, stay safe, keep doing your creative work, stay kind, and don’t stay silent in the face of inhumanity.

 

Published in: on August 8, 2019 at 9:07 am  Comments Off on Thurs. Aug. 8, 2019: Writing or Not Writing  
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Thurs. July 18, 2019: Steady Like the Rain

Thursday, July 18, 2019
Waning Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde
Rainy, hot, humid

Pop on over to Gratitude and Growth for the latest on the garden.

I had a useless day on ELLA yesterday, but a good, smooth day on GRAVE REACH. I love being in the groove with it, and the characters keep surprising me for the right reasons. It’s a leaner book than the last two, which I think works better for the genre. There’s less overlap and backtracking of the same time periods on the separate tracks. I had an excellent session on GRAVE REACH this morning, and I’m excited, at this point, to see how the outline evolves into the actual book.

Sam and Jake are becoming friends, which I didn’t expect.

Client work was okay. The next few weeks with this particular client will be frustrating and difficult. I just have to deal with each day as it comes.

We kept getting storm alerts all afternoon, so I came straight home after client work. The storms hit six hours later than expected, and weren’t as bad as they warned, thank goodness.

Up early today, decent day on ELLA, good day on GRAVE REACH. Headed to do some work at the library, some client work, and then start roughing out my Llewellyn article.

I’m just about ready to start the next Frieda/Lazarus comic radio mystery, too. I need to get it drafted, then let it sit, so I can revise it, and get it out in early August.
I have to come up with a few more malapropisms before I’ll really be ready to write.

This weekend is supposed to be brutally hot and humid. I’m not looking forward to it. I’m hoping I’ll still be able to write a lot.

Back to the page.

Published in: on July 18, 2019 at 8:57 am  Comments Off on Thurs. July 18, 2019: Steady Like the Rain  
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Thurs. July 11, 2019: A Little Off Schedule

Thursday, July 11, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Hot, humid, misty

 

I did not sleep well. Was up fretting for about 2 hours at 2:30 this morning.

Yesterday was fine. I was on track with the writing, worked with a client, did some updates for another client, got some other material out.

This morning’s writing schedule was thrown off, because I had to hit the grocery store early, before the traffic was unbearable. I have to take my mother to a doctor’s appointment later this afternoon, and what should be a 20 minute trip will take over an hour.

Have some frustrating stuff to deal with, but that’s life, right?

The important thing is to stay focused on the writing. I had a bad day on ELLA this morning, but will have a better afternoon, I hope, on GRAVE REACH.

I have a lot to get done in the next few days, when all I really want to do is rest.

I also have to work on purging some more stuff from the basement, and write ahead on a few blog posts.

I have a stack of Venice books I have to get through this weekend before starting to work on the play about Canaletto’s sisters this weekend. Plus, I have to start the radio play set at Brighton Pier. It’s a farce, and I’m not feeling funny right now, so I have to get over myself and pull up the craft.

So I better get to it. I’m updating #31Prompts. I hope you join us.

There’s also a new post up on Gratitude and Growth, about the yard.

Published in: on July 11, 2019 at 9:14 am  Comments Off on Thurs. July 11, 2019: A Little Off Schedule  
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Thurs. May 16, 2019: Process, Viability, and Attitude Adjustment

Thursday, May 16, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cool

Check out the latest on the garden here.

I still have the Go Fund Me up for the car repairs. Your help in sharing is greatly appreciated.

I was pleasantly surprised that the insurance adjustor got back to me on Tuesday night. Part of the repair costs will be approved. Hopefully, I’ll get the check soon; then I’ll know if and when I can shut down the GoFundMe, and schedule the next phases of repair. Even a little bit will be a relief.

I just hope it doesn’t make my insurance skyrocket.

I also have to face the fact that, within the next couple of years, I’ll need a new, or at least new-to-me, car. I love my little blue rabbit. But it’s twelve years old.

Woke up at 3 AM yesterday. The good part about 3 AM is that, from 3-5 AM, it’s relatively quiet. I can get some thinking and plotting done, even if I don’t get up and actually write.

I got up at 5. Worked on ELLA BY THE BAY. Worked on GRAVE REACH. Worked on articles, and on blog posts that have to go up in the next few weeks. Worked on the review of the book I just read.

I’ve now written my way four chapters into ELLA BY THE BAY. It’s a viable book. The next step is to sit down and do a writer’s rough outline, so I can continue with an idea of where I’m going.

My process has changed over the years, from being a total blank pager, to being a total outliner, to mixing the two. I get an idea; if it nags me, I write about four chapters, to see if it can sustain. If it can, I then outline, and then go back and write it.

Some pieces can’t sustain. Some are okay, but I do a nice temporary chapter ending and put them aside to get back to “someday.” (See my Topic Workbook THE GRAVEYARD OF ABANDONED PROJECTS for more on this).

But “process” has to change, as we grow and change as writers. How I created work twenty years ago doesn’t necessarily work the way I do it now, although some tools still work.

Went in and worked onsite with a client.

Came home, changed, had a quick snack, and then drove to Brewster to participate in a panel discussion for a local organization.

Of course, I had handouts. Because I am the Queen of Handouts.

We got off to a bit of a rocky start. I’d given myself an hour to drive there, which would mean I arrived 15 minutes before start time. But the traffic was lighter than I expected, and it only took me 45 minutes to get there. So I was a half hour early. I’m often that early to events — it gives me time to prepare, set out handouts, find out the structure of the event, etc. However, as I tried to get into the building, a board member came out and said, “You’re really early. We’re in the middle of a meeting. Come back in ten minutes.”

Excuse me?

I am one of your guest speakers. An UNPAID speaker, on top of that. (I rarely accept unpaid gigs at this point, but I did here because of my connection with the organization). The proper greeting is, “We’re so glad you’re here! We’re still in the board meeting. I’ll get you set up over here until we’re done.”

Not “come back in ten minutes” so I had to sit outside in the cold.

When I was on the board, I considered it my JOB, my RESPONSIBILITY, my HONOR to make guest speakers and presenters feel welcome and appreciated. I also considered it my job to make the audience feel the same.

“Come back in ten minutes” because they’re busy? No.

I sat outside, fuming. I was tempted to rant on social media. Which was inappropriate. I was tempted to leave. And then I thought, why? Why behave with as little grace as this individual? I’m not Top Poobah Writer of the Universe who demands minions bow to me. It’s really not that big a deal in the scheme of the Universe. It gives me important information, and factors in to future dealings, but, really, it’s not a crisis. I got over myself. Because, in the bigger scheme of things, apart from both my ego, and from feeling that’s not the way to treat people who donate their time to an organization, getting over myself made more sense.

Which was the right choice, because ultimately, it was a lovely evening. My fellow panelists were delightful. The questions, for the most part, were excellent. Except for the couple of people who went on and on about the “art” of what they do and how they didn’t like we talked so much about business. (The topic of the evening was business-oriented, so go figure).

Well, first of all, one does not negate the other. My passion for my art does not mean I forfeit my right to earn a living at it. And if you want to succeed as an author, the business part of it is part of the gig. All of those making faces about how they “don’t do” or “don’t like” websites and social media and all the rest can either pay someone to do it for them — and really PAY, not the attitude around here where $20 is supposed to pay your rent for three months, or better yet, you’re supposed to be THRILLED to do it for free — or suck it up and learn or don’t do it and have a different career trajectory. But if you do the latter, don’t whine that nobody pays attention to you.

Still, it’s an important discussion to have. The more information people have, the more informed decisions they can make for the path that works best for them. There is no ONE WAY — thank goodness! It would be far too dull.

But I’m glad I did it. I saw some people I hadn’t seen in ages, and that was great to catch up.

And I’m glad I didn’t stay mired in annoyance. That wouldn’t have done any good for anyone. This was a case where recognizing the emotion and CHOOSING to move on from it made a lot of sense. I didn’t ignore my response. Nor did I pitch a tantrum. I was able to face it and see how it fit into the bigger picture, and make the best choice for me, which turned out to be positive for everybody.

However, if this individual treats the keynote speakers and better-known workshop presenters at the conference this way, it’s going to hurt the organization.

Happily, it is not my problem!

It was still light-ish driving home, which was nice. I had Prince turned up on the radio for a few miles, and then, by the time I got to Yarmouth, I drove through Yarmouth and Barnstable with the windows down singing along with various radio songs at the top of my lungs. Which was really fun.

The abortion ban in Alabama is disgusting. So are the bans in Georgia and Ohio. I am sick and tired of old white male religious zealots trying to control me. And who are bound and determined to kill me if I don’t “behave.” They must be stopped. Especially when they give rapists more rights than rape victims.

The level of corruption in our government is appalling. Russia is delighted.

Last night, I dreamed about a large tree falling. It woke me, and I was upset, but I managed to get back to sleep. When I looked it up, it said it indicated that I’m “on the wrong path.” Which path is wrong? I’m preparing to make several major changes over the coming months. Is it warning me where I am at this moment is wrong (which I know) or that the options I’m looking at are wrong? So now I’m really confused and worried.

Today, I’m working on ELLA BY THE BAY, GRAVE REACH, and the articles. I hope I can polish the review well enough to send it off, either later today or tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go to yoga.

If the weather holds, I’ll do some yard work.

I have a new Trusted Reader for GRAVE REACH. She’s going to read GR, and I’m going to read her magical realism she’s-not-sure-what-it-is.

I hope the rest of the quotes I requested for articles come in soon, so I can finish them and send them off. My mechanic can’t give me an estimate on the rest of the work without seeing the car. That means losing another day of work to go to Plymouth, and then losing another day of work when repairs are actually done. Whereas if I have them done here, at the original estimate, they will drive me to and from work and home. The money I lose by losing those days in Plymouth will even out what I’d save in actual repair costs. So I’m not sure what to do.

I have some more pitches to finesse and send out. I was about to send out a short story to a market, only to find it closed early this reading period. Oh, well.

I also have to finish the first draft of the short play that has to go out this month, so it can marinate for a few days before revisions, and polish “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” so it can go out next week.

One step at a time. That’s the best I can do.

Thursday, May 9, 2019: Phases of Stress

Thursday, May 09, 2019
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cool

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth for the latest on the garden.

Well, I just feel beat up six ways from Sunday.

If you get a chance, I’d appreciate if you could share my Go Fund Me link for the car repair.

With no car, and public transportation less than wonderful in this area, I switched around my day on site with a client. I’ll go in tomorrow instead. I walked down to the library (only about a mile and a third); it was a pleasant day, I didn’t mind.

Got some work done there. One of the volunteers was kind enough to drive me home when she left (and it meant I could take home the heavy books that came in).

I brought out some of the big pots onto the deck and did some pruning. I should have done more, but I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Got a pitch out to a high-paying consumer magazine. Got out a couple of other pitches and LOIs.

Trying not to let the stress of the situation incapacitate me, because that won’t solve anything.

Cooked a lovely dinner of chicken in garlic and wine, served with mashed potatoes and spinach. A friend gave me an amazing bottle of Blood Orange Rose – one of the best wines I’ve ever drunk.

Up early this morning. Got some good work in on ELLA BY THE BAY, and will put in some work on GRAVE REACH later today.

The driver was over an hour late to pick me up, but I got there. Phase One of the car repair is done. I can drive it short distances, but I have to be careful on construction, bad roads, etc., until Phase Two is done. Then, there will be Phase Three and Four, but at least we’ve broken up the repairs over time. And I can get to my local client, although I can’t visit any long distance clients or go over the bridge until it’s all done.

Getting out a couple more pitches this morning. I’ll have to mow the front yard this afternoon (it’s supposed to rain tomorrow). I’m onsite with my client tomorrow for a few hours, then have a lot of local errands to run. Saturday I’ll have to take the garbage to the dump; we’re at capacity.

I have a book to read for review, and I also want to do a push on finishing “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale” and the first draft of a short play that’s due in NYC at the end of the month. I’m trying to pick up some extra one-and-done high-paying assignments.

I can’t go away for Memorial Day, but I’m going to take some time off and decompress. Memorial Day isn’t that far away!

Sent in the winners and finalists on the contest; invoiced today.

The worst part of this experience is it makes me feel worthless as a human being. I realize that most people don’t have a spare $2300 sitting around, and it’s not unusual to be panicked by something like this. But it still makes me feel like a failure.

That ridiculous USA today article that accused “most people” of “typically” spending $1800 month “they don’t need” – by the way, lunch and personal grooming was included in that – enraged me.

First of all, I don’t know many people who have $1800 they can spend on non-essentials. Second, “essentials” has a wide range. Plus, we need some joy in our lives or we can’t survive. Who is this study to decide what is “essential” and not? And, if one more person does the whole, “For a cup of coffee, you can . . .” or “just don’t buy your $5 cup of coffee and you’ll be financially solvent in six months.”

Total B.S.

Especially since I don’t go out and buy $5 coffees every day. Most of the time, I make coffee at home – that tastes better. A coffee at a coffeehouse? A great treat. I might do it once every few months, meeting a friend or colleague. I hardly ever eat out. I bring my lunch with me when I work onsite – both because of cost and because it’s too isolated to effectively go out to lunch. I don’t take taxis or rideshares; I don’t need them.

Nor do I feel deprived by not doing those things. I LIKE the coffee I make at home (and it keeps the experience of coffee out as a treat). I’m a cook. I like it and I’m good at it. I like cooking at home and eating at home, and cooking for friends. I don’t keep a standing appointment to get my hair cut mostly because I don’t like the way most of the salons do it here.

It’s a bogus study meant to economically shame people who are barely getting by, and who might indulge themselves in a meal out or a treat once in awhile. It’s ridiculous.

Anyway, I’m hoping I’ll have a decent weekend of writing, gardening, and reading. And I’ll do extra yoga and meditation to de-stress.

I’m reading Emily Nagoski’s Burnout. Every two or three pages I burst into tears because it’s so relevant to what I’m going through right now. Hopefully, I can learn some good coping techniques.

In any case, for me, today, it’s back to the page.

Published in: on May 9, 2019 at 10:23 am  Comments Off on Thursday, May 9, 2019: Phases of Stress  
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Thurs. May 2, 2019: Trying to Get Back in The Groove

Thursday, May 2, 2019
Day Before Dark Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and chilly

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth for the latest on the garden.

I’m still struggling to get my energy back. Still feeling burned to a crisp. I’m going to take a little extra time around Memorial Day Weekend and just relax. But that’s still four weeks away. I have to find pockets of rest in there, or I won’t make it.

Onsite work with a client was fine. I played with some ideas for a new marketing campaign. Threw out most of them, because I couldn’t see how we’d get a worthwhile return. There were a couple of minor irritants, but nothing that was a big deal. The long term picture is getting sharper, and I’m more aware of the pieces I have to rearrange to achieve what I need and want.

Picked up a few groceries. I was so tired in the store that I stood holding a can of tuna wondering why the label made no sense — until I realized it was cat food, not people food.

Came home, worked on contest entries, made dinner, re-watched THE NEWSROOM. Played with some ideas.

Woke up around 3 AM, managed to get back to sleep for a few hours. Wrote 1K of a new project. I’m going to write about four chapters to see if it’s viable. Then my 1K on GRAVE REACH. I actually have to up the 1K/day on GRAVE REACH this month, in order to get everything done.

Headed for the library to get some work done, bring back some books, pick up some books. Then, there’s yoga. I might swing by a client’s quickly in the afternoon to take care of one thing so it’s not hanging over me.

Then, it’s back to contest entries. I’m doing a big push on them this weekend, so I can start making my final decisions next week. They’re due on the 10th, and I want to make sure everything is in good shape. I’m also starting to fill out the electronic scoring sheets. It’s a process.

I’m working on the Tip Sheet for the panel discussion for the event I’m doing on the 15th.

At some point in the next few days, I have to make multiple dump runs for the household garbage, recycling, and yard waste. Don’t like doing it in the rain, though.

Doing more Caribbean research, and continuing with classic ocean liner research.

Need to get some LOIs out, and work on an article, and an article pitch. Also have to make requests for a couple more article quotes. I have to finish and send off some letters in support of an organization with which I used to be affiliated, and also prepare some interview questions for a writer who’s guesting on the blog.

Never a dull moment. Which is a good thing. If I can beat this fatigue, I’ll be fine. It’s hard to think straight when I’m so tired, and I’m making stupid mistakes.

Back to the page.

 

Published in: on May 2, 2019 at 9:22 am  Comments Off on Thurs. May 2, 2019: Trying to Get Back in The Groove  
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