Thurs. Feb. 15, 2018: Back After A Tough Few Days

Thursday, February 15, 2018
New Moon
Cloudy and mild

It’s been a rough few days. I’ve been out of town, which is one reason why I skipped the post yesterday and on Tuesday.

On Saturday night, we learned a second family member had died, also up in Maine. This was more expected, after a year-long illness. And on Sunday, I learned that an actress I’d worked with as we both made our way up the ladder to Broadway, had died of cancer. Three deaths in about two weeks. It was rough.

On Sunday morning, we packed the car and headed up to Maine in the rain. It wasn’t too bad of a drive, and we made better time than we thought. We made a few stops in Kittery to pick up some things we needed. The hotel we originally planned to stay in was undergoing renovation; even though they were taking in guests, the added stress of the noise and the overall creepiness was more than we could cope with at the moment.

We kept going until we hit the Ogunquit Resort. They had a room at a good rate, we booked in. It was a wonderful room. Bigger than most New York City apartments. Great beds, a desk, a table and chairs, plenty of floor space. Enough floor space for me to roll out my mat and do yoga without hitting anything.

We settled in and tried to have a relaxing afternoon. Reading and research for me. I read Ann Hood’s THE BOOK THAT MATTERS MOST. I like her writing. I also did some research on New Amsterdam for THE SPIRIT REPOSITORY. I knew I lost writing days, so I wanted to make some use of the time. Pizza from a favorite local joint for dinner, watching the Olympics at night.

Monday morning, up early and into Portland for the memorial service for the family member who died unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. The funeral home and its staff were lovely, although I couldn’t help but think of SIX FEET UNDER. Members of her knitting group were there, telling funny stories. In spite of the sorrow, it was uplifting. Too much religion for my taste, but then, it wasn’t about me, was it?

After, we convened at a brew pub in Scarborough for lunch and to catch up. We raised a glass to the family member who died on Saturday; he gets a graveside military funeral, so he’s on ice (literally) until the ground is soft enough to dig in spring.

Back to the hotel, exhausted. Read a bit, researched a bit, played with the opening to a short story. I have two openings for two different pieces rolling around in my head, and I’m trying to see if they are two sides to the same piece (doesn’t seem that way) or two different pieces (more likely). Also have a story idea spinning based on the past few days (although it will take a different direction, with higher stakes or it wouldn’t be worth reading. Or writing).

More Olympics, which is really the only thing worth watching.

I am sickened by how many commercials for drugs are on TV. And in magazines. And they wonder why people are addicted. It also enrages me that most of these drugs are supposed to be taken “with” another drug that isn’t effective enough. No, dumbass, you don’t take four different things to “help” whose side effects make you nauseated, dizzy, and break out in rashes and could kill you. It means the initial medication ISN’T WORKING and the damn doctor needs to find ONE medication, the RIGHT medication, that solves the problem without side effects.

I am convinced these drugs are created not to work completely, to force people onto multiple medications with horrible side effects, so they have to take even more medications to counteract those effects. Pharma is a scam. It’s not about making people healthy; it’s about keeping people sick in order to make money off them.

Up early and out the door on Tuesday, headed back to the Cape. I tried to time it so I got through the Big Dig in Boston after rush hour, but before the noon traffic. It was still awful, with slowdowns and crashes and roadwork.

I was a wreck with a migraine by the time we got home. We unpacked, comforted the cats (who were upset we’d gone), paid some bills. Did some stretches. Tried to rest.

I was in bed by 8 PM. Woke up with a migraine on Wednesday and felt awful, but dragged myself to work with a client, dropped off/picked up some books at the library, and came home.

Finally started feeling better in the evening.

Today, I have to get some writing done, work on the website (I hope to start the move tomorrow or Saturday), and work with another client. I also have to take down the February decorations and start putting up the spring decorations.

Both the snapdragons and the sweet peas I planted in pos are coming up. I’m going to start the tomatoes and the lettuce soon.

I need to get it together on SPIRIT REPOSITORY.

I also need to buy a new drum for my laser printer. The thing I ordered was the wrong piece. That’s what I get for trying to cut corners.



Wed. Aug. 19, 2015: Mermaid Ball, Death in the Family, Sick Cat, Frustrations

Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Waxing Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Sunny and hot

It feels like I’ve lived a lifetime in the past few days. Some good; some not so great.

First and foremost, the Mermaid Ball: the evening was lovely, in spite of the usual issues with Waverly Oaks. The space is wonderful, everyone looked great, we made some decent money, I think. Unfortunately, the food was less than stellar, especially for the price, and there were, again, issues of us paying for space, but it being used by others.

I was also delighted by the fact that a photographer from the Boston Globe showed up. I’ve been trying to get one there for five years! The pictures were great, too, and he was delightful to have around.

The costumes were delightful and creative, and everyone looked beautiful. I was especially

We had a lot of help getting everything down, which meant we left around midnight instead of 2 AM.

The cats got me up early. Poor little Violet was very sick, so I tried to find something that worked to make her feel better.

Then, we got the news that a family member in Maine died. He was 98 and had been ill for a very, very long time, but it’s still always a loss. I moved Monday’s meeting, reminded people of Tuesday’s deadlines, warned them at work.

We wanted to leave Saturday, but Violet was too sick. I was up with her all day Saturday. Sunday, we couldn’t get off Cape because of the traffic – 18 mile backup by 8 AM, and it didn’t get better all day. I spent most of the day lying on the floor next to Violet, feeding her Pedialyte and being with her while she slept. She seemed better in the evening, so we continued to pack. I had about 2 hours of sleep again, up on and off with Violet, although she continued to improve.

We left at 5:30 on Monday morning. Even then, traffic in Boston was a nightmare, but once we got through Boston, we were okay. We got there in time for the funeral, which was a graveside service. There were only 12 chairs and about 70 people, so that was a little difficult, but the celebrant was terrific, and the military component of the funeral, complete with flag folding and presentation, was very, very moving. I really want to write about these guys.

The post-funeral reception was at Cole’s Farms, with a big buffet. There was a display of photographs, which brought back lots of laughter and good memories.

We cleared up, went to the store to grab something for later, and then, pretty much collapsed. We did some more visiting in the evening, but had an early night. I spent a lot of time walking around the house and grounds – a place of sanctuary for me for over 40 years. The end of an era.

It makes me sad. I know life goes on and all that, but I’m still sad. I will miss him, and I will miss the security that he and this place in Maine represent.

Up early on Tuesday morning. Got some writing done, which at least put me in a more focused frame of mind. We said our goodbyes, knowing nothing will be the same, and off we drove.

Traffic sucked again around Boston, but we were lucky enough to miss a big accident by about ten minutes.

Violet is a little better – not cured, but a little better. I sat on the back deck at night and just let myself be sad. Grief and the shifting dynamics around death are a process, and we don’t have a workable structure for it. We have a funeral/memorial/reception, and then we’re just supposed to act like nothing happened. The Victorians went a little too far with mourning, sometimes, but at least there was a ritual-filled process to it.

Seriously, I feel like I’m hitting my second Saturn return early. I hit the first one early, so it makes sense the next go-round would be early, too.

Still not a great night’s sleep last night. Up early, got a little bit of writing done, but not happy with it. Headed in to work. Technically, we’re closed today, for painting, but heaven forbid anyone should respect the “closed” sign. The lack of boundaries – which indicates the lack of respect for our work – just infuriates me.

I’m also really unhappy because a deadline for the wine event that was yesterday was missed, putting it in jeopardy. I’m so sick and tired of people acting like deadlines don’t mean anything.

Hoping I’ll be able to get some work done tonight. I’m also getting really sick and tired of always being the one expected to change MY schedule because writing isn’t “real work.”


Published in: on August 19, 2015 at 10:23 am  Comments (2)  
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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008
Waning Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

As you see, I am semi-back online today, although it will be sporadic for the next week.

Yesterday morning, I got a phone call stating that my grandmother, to whom I am very close, and who has been ill for a long time, had taken a turn for the worse. We ran around preparing to leave – putting up messages where necessary, packing, etc., but before we could get on the road, we received the call that she passed.

After a lot of discussion, we decided that, rather than driving up immediately and sitting around staring at each other, we would go up as planned next week for the big (60 person) Thanksgiving dinner, which would be a tribute to her.

On top of that, I managed to sprain my wrist (still not sure how I did that) and the cold I’ve been fighting for the past few weeks is winning.

Needless to say, I didn’t get much done yesterday, although I swapped some boxes out of storage and reacquainted myself with some items including m blender and a quilt project I started years ago, that I think I will work on through the winter. I need to redesign it a bit, and take some of the borders out, replacing them with other fabric, but it will be a good piece when it’s done, and a good project for a cold winter.

I’m right-handed, and it’s my right wrist sprained, so it’s slowing me down. I can’t do any more storage swap, because I can’t even lift a teacup at this point.

I managed to drop back into the mystery today, and it flowed well. I hope to hit 50K this weekend, if I can keep my focus.

I also plan to edit “The Ramsey Chase” today, which didn’t get done yesterday, and maybe do some work on the Nina Bell Christmas story.

Ultimately, I’m just living the next few days moment-to-moment. Your kind comments mean a lot to me at this difficult time. Thank you.


Untitled Helena Francis Mystery – 47,436 words out of 50,000 (Nano goal)

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
47 / 50

Untitled Helena Francis Mystery – 47,436 words out of est. 75,000 (total goal)

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
47 / 75

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Published in: on November 20, 2008 at 8:20 am  Comments (17)  
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