Thurs. April 14, 2022: Figuring Out The Healing

image courtesy of Pexels via pixabay.com

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Waxing Moon

Partly Sunny and warm

There’s a post detailing the latest plantings over on Gratitude and Growth.

Yesterday was not as productive as I’d hoped (familiar refrain), mostly because I’m still not feeling well. I was feeling well enough to try to function, but bad enough so that everything and every ONE was an irritant.

I got through some email and did some prep for this morning’s meeting. I did some plotting for a couple more radio plays.

I went to the library, to drop off/pick up a stack of books in each direction. Something I read in one of my other books had a reference to playwright Ben Jonson, and that led me back to Elizabethan Theatre and an idea with which I’ve been playing for years. I’ve been trying to figure out how to make it work. I think by making it an alt-universe, and giving certain creative people the ability to understand multiple alt-universes, I can fix those challenges. Anyway, the research books are coming in. Time to open a fresh notebook and take good notes. In all my spare time. Yeah.

Grocery shopping, where I spent more than intended, but we are now set for a while, except for things like eggs, milk, bread.  And, even though we don’t celebrate Easter, I got my mom the Easter ham she wanted, and I’ll make a baked ham for Sunday.

Of course, one of the reasons I spent more than intended is because prices keep going up.

Mailed some bills, and some mail which had been misdelivered. There’s another street whose spelling has one more letter than my street, and I often get mail for the person at the same number on that street. I mark it as misdelivered and how, and put it back in the box.

Stopped at the liquor store, and found some new-to-me wines to try. Time to lighten up the wines for the season. Switch to lighter reds, and, eventually, over to rosé in the summer, because a good rosé goes with everything.

Home, exhausted. I stacked a few too many errands in that trip. Normally, it would make sense, but I’m still feeling poorly.

At the grocery store, I was in constant inner dialogue, since I was so grumpy. This is where meditation techniques come in handy. It was the constant question: Does this have anything to do with you? The answer was, of course, no. So drop it and move on. Because NONE of the people filling their carts and going about their lives were the cause of my irritation. They wouldn’t even have added to it on a normal day. Nothing they were doing was about me. And none of them deserved to have me take my irritability out on them. So I didn’t. Because they don’t deserve to have their day dampened by my irritation.

So what IS the source of my irritability? A lot of it is still feeling bad after the 4th shot. I’m still achy, headachy, fatigued, and I’m tired of being tired. But more of it, I think is rooted in residual burnout, that I don’t have the time and resources to take a full break to recover. I have to focus on earning money for this major car repair. I have to get the car repaired. I have to keep up the housework, the cooking, the bills, the deadlines. Taking a weekend won’t fix it. I need a serious break. And I don’t have the option to take one.

What I am doing is rearranging my workday to fit energy levels, and matching each task to the energy best suited for it. I also want to get more enjoyment out of each day, including maximum enjoyment in the work. That means adjusting the kind of work I take on. I updated some profile information on a few referral sites, because there are certain types of work that, even six months ago, I was open to accepting, that I no longer want. There’s another arts referral/networking site where I need to create one (or more) profiles to draw the kind of work I want to draw. I have to think about how to create those profiles to best hit. Creating the Pages on Stages website was the right choice; I’m already seeing positive results from it.

It’s a process, and will take time, but it will pay off, I think. Drawing in more of the work I truly enjoy will take off a lot of pressure. Expanding the client base will take off a lot of the pressure. Raising rates for certain projects will take off a lot of the pressure.

That will give me the healing time I haven’t had post-surgeries, post-move.

What if, instead of feeling like I have to get out and network and enter into community life here, I just  . . .don’t? At least for this year? What if I only do what I want to do, and don’t feel like I “have” to be out and about? Like I “have” to network and put myself out there? The pandemic made us feel isolated and disconnected, and we all fought so hard to stay connected. What if I take more time to be solitary, virtually, as well as physically? There are still friends I haven’t seen in years with whom I hope to reconnect in person, and friends I like to see semi-regularly, which I still want to see. But rather than the whole “be out there building the network” thing, maybe I will take a different approach and a different route, at least this year.

Maybe, for me, part of the healing has to do with solitude, rather than isolation.

Not push people away, if they come into my life organically. But not dash around forcibly trying to add people into my life right now, either.

I’m still exploring that theory. I don’t have definite answers yet. I need to trust my intuition, and put it above the clamor of the “experts.” Because they don’t live in my skin. They haven’t lived what I have the past few years. They don’t have the knowledge to make proclamations on my life.

I can adjust my work, I can adjust my creative life, I can spend time enjoying what I enjoy, and limit external pressures.

I’ve never lived my life the way other people told me I “had” to. In spite of a decade on Cape where too many people tried to emotionally batter me into conformity, it didn’t work. And I’m not in that situation anymore, so why not enjoy what’s so different about things here? Because it is very different, and people tend to give each other more breathing room.

It’s a process, right? Try things, some work, some don’t. But what I’m being told are definitives aren’t necessarily relative to me personally, or to this new region.

So why not create my own definitives?

Although the thought of creating yet anything else is exhausting, but the act of creation tends to be restorative.

It was up in the high 70’s yesterday, and we opened all the windows and left the plants on the porch overnight. It was so nice to sleep with the windows open! This morning was the first day of the season I could do my early morning writing and have that first cup of coffee out on the porch, with Tessa keeping me company. It’s supposed to be warm again tonight, but then gets cold on Saturday, back down into the 30’s.

Meditation this morning. Then, some time at the page, before a video conference with a potential client. Then, some more errands and script coverage. I need to finish reading a book for review, so I can write the review tomorrow.

I think I’m going to take Monday as a holiday. I mean, I’m in a state where it’s a holiday, why not enjoy it?

Have a good whatever-you-celebrate, and I’ll catch you on the other side.

Published in: on April 14, 2022 at 8:05 am  Comments Off on Thurs. April 14, 2022: Figuring Out The Healing  
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mon. April 14, 2014: Cover Reveal, Play Information, and Tight Organizational Skills

med_TrackingMedusa

Monday, April 14, 2014
Waxing Moon
Mars Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

Above is the cover for TRACKING MEDUSA, set to release soon. Isn’t it gorgeous? I’m thrilled with it.

Busy, busy weekend.

Friday, I was back at the new job at the library, learning new stuff. Learned how to check in books, do the holds, pull from the shelves for requests, etc., etc. Went over some of the ordering protocols. Got my professional email set up, and dived into the administrative part. Learning how to make spines and add bar codes and make records as new books, CDs, and videos come in and go on the shelf. Getting an idea of the current programs, since new programs for adults will be my jurisdiction moving forward. Lots to learn, but I’m eager to learn it all. My co-workers are lovely, and eager to help me settle in.

It was pleasant enough to eat lunch outside — something I hope to do on most nice days there.

Came home, checked email and discovered that I landed an educational scriptwriting job I really, really wanted. Fifteen episodes by the end of June. I’m looking forward to it — I had a blast with the paid test episode, so I’m eager to get to work on the project as a whole.

Packed up the car and headed for rehearsal. Loaded in the newly edited slides for the play (we’re using some of the real slides from the presentation in the play). I had one actor out sick and one not feeling well but there, so we worked as much as we could, and spent time on certain bits of business and tech. I had someone to sit on book, so I could actually concentrate on directing, for once.

Started the next book sent for review. The next contest entries are scheduled to arrive today.

Saturday morning, it was nice enough to get some yard work done.

I had a client meeting in the early afternoon about the new scriptwriting job, and they sent me more materials, with even more this morning in preparation for this afternoon’s meeting.

Worked on taxes and the new book for review after that.

Sunday, I had a slow, leisurely start out on the deck to the morning, went over some research materials that need to be returned, did some work marketing the play, and then finished up the taxes. They’re ready to go.

I also finished the first round of edits on “Lake Justice” and got them back to my editor.

I did some work on my materials for the workshop I’m teaching at NECRWA in two weeks, and prepared some notes for my lecture at the Community College earlier that week.

I have letters to write today, and quite a bit of material to go over before this afternoon’s client meeting. I also need to wind up two client projects today and tomorrow and get out some requested samples. Then, I’m not taking on any new freelance projects until early July, although I’ll still be pitching regularly in May, and ramping it up in June.

I posted on Facebook that I will be working a minimum of 18 hours per day, seven days a week, between now and May 8. That is not an exaggeration. I am grateful, and these are opportunities that could not be shifted and would not come again. I’m not going to whine about the time put in or how tired I’ll be. I know I’ll be both exhausted, and I’ll have to be very, very organized. However, anyone who whines AT me about how busy THEY are will be stabbed in the eye with a fork. A monogrammed one. Because let’s face it, those who WHINE about being busy aren’t actually busy — they waste a lot of time. Those of us who ARE keeping busy schedules during the feast cycle are way too busy getting things done to whine! For the next three weeks, I have an even more zero tolerance policy on whining than I usually do.

SEAL TIDES flyer - 2nd version-1

I hope you’ll come and see SEAL TIDES. If you can’t, I hope you’ll consider throwing even $10 to its indiegogo campaign to support the show and the Marine Life Center’s mission to educate the next generation of conservationists. Link here.

Onward!

Devon

Tues. Jan. 14, 2014: The Project Stack

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Cloudy and mild

There’s a piece on Strand Books, one of my favorite bookstores, over on A Biblio Paradise.

Yesterday was a busy day, but a fun one. Up early, the usual yoga/meditation every morning. Some admin work, got a pitch out.

Then, into the car and drove to Brockton to meet with a potential new client. I was worried about the drive, but it was completely pleasant, and, along Rt. 106, even had some good memories — my grandmother, mother and I used to use 106 when driving between Foxboro and Plymouth. I thoroughly enjoyed myself during the meeting itself. The project is exciting, and I think I’d be an excellent person to help it reach its full potential. It’s a project where I not only have the ability to help bring it to fruition, but, because I’m genuinely excited about it. I’d also have the passion for it. Even more important, I could see myself working happily in the environment and with the people who would be my colleagues. It wouldn’t be just getting through it — it would be looking forward to going to work every day.

At this point, it’s out of my hands — either they think I’m the right person both for the job and the situation, or they don’t. There’s no way of knowing that until they either make me an offer or tell me they’re going with someone else. I just keep on doing what I do, and hope for the best. It would be an adjustment to work on site a few days a week, but I’ve been thinking about it for awhile — doing more on-site work.

Home, back to work, catching up on everything I missed while I was out. One of my late-paying clients ponied up, so I’ll finish off the last couple of articles, and when I get paid for those next month, I’m done with that publication.

Did the revision on the TALENT pilot script — will put the changes in today, and then I’ll have to write the synopsis for that one, too. My script package date was pushed back to March 4, at my request — I’m certainly not going to send it out during the Mercury Retrograde, and the original date fell smack in the midst of that. It also gives me a couple of extra weeks to make sure the material is polished to gleaming.

Today, I have a lot of prep work for tonight’s meeting, writing, and working with students. Hopefully, the other slow-paying client will cough up, as promised, and we can wrap things up.

To the page!

Devon

Published in: on January 14, 2014 at 8:34 am  Comments Off on Tues. Jan. 14, 2014: The Project Stack  
Tags: , , , , ,

Mon. Jan. 13, 2014: Writing, Clients, Research, Award Shows

Monday, January 13, 2014
Waxing Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Sunny and mild

Busy weekend. Still annoyed with two clients. One is now three weeks late in paying me — and this is our first project together. It may well be our last. Being “on vacation” and “out of town on business” is not an excuse. The payment date was not a surprise. It was in our written agreement. Make arrangements for the check to be mailed while you’re gone, or pay me electronically. I fulfilled my part of the contract — now you fulfill yours. The other client, the perpetual random payer — is now over a week late. I’m not delivering the final two articles on the contract until I’m paid, and, once I’m paid for those — I’m done. There’s a reason both these clients have a high writer turnover — they’re unreliable. You want to keep good people? Show them respect, and part of that is paying on time per the contract.

On a happier note, I finished the airship steampunk, revised it, and sent it out. I had enough material for a novel and had to strip/throw out a lot of ideas. I kept notes, in case I ever want to expand it. Hopefully the story doesn’t read as compressed. I’m worried that there’s not enough conflict in the climax, although I invented some interesting gear used in it.

Totally cooked by Friday night — I wrote synopses for three different scripts. And another teleplay comes up in the editing/revision queue today. Gotta get that packet ready for February!

Had a meeting with a fellow writer and friend –we’re going to encourage each other along writing our novels. She’s outlined what she wants to work on — I have to decide which of three possibilities I want to work on with her.

I also have to get back to work on THE BALTHAZAAR TREASURE, which I hope my new publisher will like. I have to find the full writer’s rough I did a few years ago.

I have some admin work to do today, and I also have a client meeting about an hour off-Cape. My materials are all together for that; I just have to give myself enough time to find the place and feel settled before the meeting starts.

Read a supposed thriller over the weekend which did not thrill me. Started another novel, whose premise excited me, but the author was one of those pretentious ones who uses dashes instead of quotation marks for dialogue AND writes in present tense. I lasted for ten pages and had to put it down. The structure did not support the novel. Since I wasn’t being paid to read it, I didn’t have to fight my way through it.

Found the letters from George Eliot to Harriet Beecher Stowe that I looked for in reference to the Charlotte Bronte conversation in a collection of Eliot’s letters. Copied out the relevant passages. Now, I want to read Harriet’s letters to see her side of it. So that project is developing.

Worked with students — I’m lucky to have a dedicated, committed batch this semester. They want it, and they’re willing to work for it, rather than making excuses.

Watched the Golden Globes last night, both for fun, and as background for a couple of projects that use award show scenes. Glad AMERICAN HUSTLE did well, but I feel that Jeremy Renner’s work is being unfairly overlooked. He went in a completely new direction for him, and I don’t feel the work is being properly appreciated.

Really pleased by the positive response to my short story “Catch Your Breath”. It encourages me to play more with contemporary literary fiction.

Off to get some writing done and then to the meeting.

Devon

Interviewed on Long & Short Romance!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Rainy and cool

First and foremost, hop on over to LASR to read an interview with me — it was a ton of fun — I just love working with them.

ASSUMPTION OF RIGHT will be available at the bookstore in the Cape Cod Writers Center Conference — woo hoo! If HEX BREAKER isn’t in print yet, they told me to go ahead and leave promotional materials in the store. Talk about a much better arrangement than at Write Angles last year, which segregated authors, lied to me about carrying me in the store, and then, the night before the conference dumped the whole problem into my lap. This was easy-peasy — I emailed the guy running the bookstore, he sent me the form, and we’re good to go. No drama, no “you’re not with a big enough publisher and not important enough for our store”, none of that. Which is one reason this conference is one of the most respected in the country.

Yesterday, I worked a lot, but didn’t get enough done. Sound familiar? But I got some ideas to one of my new editors, got some work in for another client, mowed the terraced back area, took all the clippings to the dump, In the afternoon, I managed to write 1857 words (a whole chapter) on HEART BINDER, and I read 70 pages of a manuscript for critique. And baked a cake.

I went to the client meeting at 6:30 last night, and didn’t get home until after 11. It was fun, and nice to do focused work in company, but I was beat by the time I got in. Overslept this morning, and then did some more work for that client before I even got a chance to blog.

Tessa was mad at me — our routine this summer has been that I take her out with me in the morning and put her in her cage on the deck. She watches me water, and then is out with me while I have my first cup of coffee, percolate ideas, and write the first 1K of the day in longhand. Later, at the end of the day, she comes out with me again, while I have a glass of wine on the deck and either read or write some more.

Well, yesterday afternoon, I was behind in the work, and couldn’t take her out before I left. And this morning, it was rainy. She was one sulky girl. I took her out this morning in my arms and she got rained on — which, of course, in her feline mind, is all my fault.

Anyway, I’ve got a LOT on my plate today — better get to it.

I’m so happy with the LASR interview!

Devon

Don’t forget — Taste of Tarot workshop for artists in all media, this Saturday afternoon, June 16, at Three Fish and a Ram Community Art Center in Mashpee. More info here.

Tues. April 17, 2012: Under the Weather– But Exciting Prospects!


Tessa and Violet

Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Waning Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Sunny and pleasant

The weather’s pleasant, but, unfortunately, I’ve come down with something and feel like crap. It’s nothing major — just enough to slow me down and make me whiny — which is how I know it’s nothing major! 😉

I got some yard work done yesterday morning. I really need to get the mower fixed, because suddenly the grass is growing rapidly. The tulips are gorgeous — it looks like they’re all going to come up. We also put out the furniture on the deck, and rearranged some of the plants, bringing out some hardy ones (the nights are still a bit cool).

Tessa scooted out, and I wound up chasing her around the front yard for a bit, finally catching her. She was given the “Bad Kitty” lecture, and, when we’re to-ing and fro-ing, she will either be shut in my room or the bathroom. She’s only allowed out on the harness & leash — it’s too dangerous otherwise, with hawks and coyotes and cars.

Prepped for my client meeting in the afternoon, went to it, and it looks like things will move forward positively there. I need to finalize a couple of more specifics by the end of the week, and then I should have additional, very exciting work through summer into the fall. We hit it off, so let’s hope it works out. They’re also interested in the collaborative theatre piece a friend and I want to develop, which I’m only half-jokingly referring to as “The GOP Needs to Say Out of My Uterus (They Weren’t Invited).”

So, we’ll see where all of that goes. Nothing is final until the contract is signed.

I felt progressively worse as the day wore on, unable to effectively comment on student work. There’s nothing wrong with the work — I just couldn’t formulate anything helpful to say. And I’m not going to give them meaningless platitudes — that’s not why they’re there.

Which means, of course, I’m behind today, and I’ve got a ton of errands, and there’s yard work to be done, and my own, deadlined work. I have to get the balance back between the classwork and my own work. It is way out of whack.

I didn’t go to meditation this morning, because I felt like such crap. Instead, I put Tessa in the harness, and I meditated on the deck while Miss Thing was teased by a songbird in the lilac bush. I’ve got laundry going downstairs, and I’m trying to get some work done before running errands; then, this afternoon will be devoted to student work. Hopefully, I can get caught up and be able to sign out at a reasonable time this evening.

It was nearly 90 degrees up in Boston for the marathon yesterday; it was much more temperate here. Thank goodness!

Back to the page.

Devon

Published in: on April 17, 2012 at 7:23 am  Comments (3)  
Tags: , ,