Tuesday, October 20, 2020
Waxing Moon
Neptune, Uranus, Mars, Mercury Retrograde
Red-streaked clouds
Evolving Process
I keep feeling like I’m not getting anything done, but when I look back, I actually did a bunch of stuff. The emotional reality and reality don’t always coincide.
Friday was pretty much a lost day. I made raw apple muffins early in the morning, and puttered around some, but I couldn’t get focused on anything. There was nothing in the creative tank. It was as though I spent all my creative energy on the baking, when usually baking fuels creative energy for other work.
I read, I tried to write. I had a couple of stories percolating. One, I think, will be novel-length, or at least novella-length. The other will be a short story. Both are ways of exploring rage I feel at two different situations.
Friday night, I listened to the HAMILTON Broadway cast recording all the way through. There’s a lot of cleverness in it. I’d forgotten that Jonathan Groff, with whom I worked on SPRING AWAKENING, originated King George. He’s a delight, on and off stage. Terrific actor and even more terrific human being.
Awake way too early on Saturday. Wrote the first 1500 words on one of the new pieces, even though there’s other stuff I should be working on. I don’t have a title for it, but the protagonist is Nell Dunbar, so for now, I’m calling it “the Nell Dunbar piece.” It’s part literary fiction, with elements of suspense and romance in it. It was originally going to be straight-up romantic suspense, but it doesn’t want to be stuck in that genre box.
Not sure if it will go under the Devon Ellington byline or the Christy Garnet Miller byline or something completely different.
Once that was done, I felt like I could actually cope with the day. I changed the beds, did six loads of laundry, changed out some of the yoga blankets and batiks for fleece on chairs and sofas. Now I actually have some yoga blankets I can use for yoga over the winter. Vacuumed, mopped, tidied up, did some rearranging in the basement.
Vacuuming always causes Kitty Trauma, but at least there were enough catnip bananas to go around, and everyone calmed down pretty fast.
Spent too much time doomscrolling (and it WAS doomscrolling, not hopescrolling). I need to break myself of that habit.
Read a bit in Hal Prince’s memoir, and also started the book I have to read for review, which has way too much backstory/info dump that’s obscuring the spine of the piece.
A friend and I exchanged the short stories we each wrote and submitted to a contest that a third friend is blind judging (so we’ve been careful not to publicly talk about details, because that’s unfair to the friend who’s a judge). Anyway, each of us fell in love with the other’s story and prefer it to our own! I love the possibilities in hers, and how she turned tropes inside out for something fresh and clever that has legs. I love the simplicity, yet she doesn’t overexplain. She loves all the tiny descriptive details I researched and integrated. So we can cheer for each other to win even more loudly than for ourselves!
Received a check for the two articles I submitted last Monday, which was a lovely surprise. The editor had told me it would be “a few weeks” and I expected at least 30 days. To get it in 5 days was lovely.
Listened to the original Broadway company recording of COMPANY in the evening. I was never as enamored of the piece as many friends and colleagues, but it’s such a part of my theatre history (even though I’ve never worked on a production of it) that I wanted to refresh my ears on it.
Was exhausted and went to bed way too early, which meant, yup, on Sunday, I was up again way too early. Had all kinds of weird disturbing dreams that kept waking me up. Puttered around, letting stories percolate. The longer I do this writing life, the more use I find to sit and percolate before I write. I used to just spit out first drafts – and I can still write the first draft pretty quickly, once I have it set in my head. But I find myself percolating and writing in my head in much more detail now than when I used to. It makes the work more precise earlier when I finally write it down.
But that’s the beauty of process – it evolves as you gain experience and work on craft.
In writing classes, I always find the unpublished writers the ones least open to trying new techniques, claiming it interferes with “their process.” I believe you need to shake up your process regularly, and part of the beauty of taking a class is to learn new ways of doing things. That way, when your process fails and you get stuck (which WILL happen), you have other tools and techniques to pull on to get going again.
Businesses are Determined to Sabotage Themselves, Aren’t They?
Contacted Crystal Bar Soaps for an update on the order I placed on September 26, and got a vague non-answer about how busy they are and how happy they are to have my order. Well, honey, then SHIP IT. I responded that I hope I receive the order by Oct. 29, for my mother’s 96th birthday, which is why I placed the order in the first place and ordered it on SEPTEMBER 26. For items that are supposedly in stock. I’m a big fan of their products, and I believe in supporting small business/independent artists. But the shipping delays have gotten out of control with this company. Using the pandemic as an excuse doesn’t work anymore, especially when you announce on social media that you’re hired more employees (which is great).
I’m re-thinking my plan to do holiday shopping with them, because even if I order the day the merchandise goes live, there’s no way to be sure I’ll get in time for the holidays. That’s additional stress on top of the whole trying-not-to-die and keep-a-roof-over-our-heads stress.
I’m glad they’re doing well, and that their business had grown and not tanked during the pandemic. At the same time, I need to feel confident that my order will be processed in a reasonable amount of time. Because once it ships, then there’s the shipping time involved, which is about a week, except when it’s longer. They use USPS, which is far more reliable than either UPS or FedEx, but it’s voting season, and everything takes longer to get where it’s going. We’re into the fourth week now since the order and it hasn’t yet shipped. I don’t find that reasonable for items that are in stock. If things were made-to-order, it would be understandable, but then give us a realistic time frame. This is either the third or fourth time I’ve had to chase down shipments, because I ordered – and paid – for something and then heard nothing until I contacted them to find out where it was. I’m tired of it. At least, previously, I got an actual answer on the status of the order, rather than this fluffy “happy” I ordered and maybe they’ll ship it “someday.”
I contacted them AGAIN this morning, asking for specific information on my order instead of platitudes and vagueness, and, once again, reminded them I ordered it back in September, and I need it by next week.
Yesterday, I risked ordering from a local restaurant. The only other time I did this, early in the stay-at-home – the entire household came down with food poisoning and the restaurant shrugged it off. So, I crossed them off my list.
So, yesterday, I ordered from a restaurant of whom I’ve been a regular customer for years, even before we moved to the Cape, and at least once a month, often more, pre-pandemic. I decided to go ahead and spend the money and order several meals’ worth of food. Cut down on my cooking this week, support a local business. All good, right?
I called in the order, REPEATED THE ORDER, had them REPEAT THE ORDER BACK, and set up a time for curbside pickup.
I get there, about five minutes after the agreed-upon time. They hadn’t even started preparing it yet. And it’s not because they were busy. There were three people in the restaurant, and the phone wasn’t ringing. But they greeted me by name as they always did, and said it would just be a few more minutes
Thirty-five minutes later, they bring out a big bag, thank me, tell me it’s good to see me, etc. They KNOW me there. I added a 50% tip on top of the order, because, you know, it’s a pandemic.
I had to stop at CVS to pick up a prescription for my mother and a couple of other necessities. There were register issues, but we went back and re-entered and did what we had to in order to process the order and the payment. It took five tries, and I felt so bad for the poor woman at the register. She was so apologetic, and I kept telling her it wasn’t a problem, and we’d just keep trying until it worked. And we did. Patience and persistence. I felt bad for the other people in line behind me, but CVS should have also put a second person on a register when the line got long.
Dropped off books at the library, picked up what was waiting.
Got home, unpacked things, decontaminated.
Find out the order from the restaurant is wrong. Not only is it WRONG, most of it is stuff I can’t eat, because I’m allergic. They KNOW I’m allergic to these things. I’ve been eating there for 15 years. I ordered one appetizer and two meals. That’s what I paid for, along with a 50% tip. I got three appetizers. One of which I can’t eat, because I’m allergic (and yes, I remind them of the allergy every time I place an order).
I call them. Just a “hey, I picked up my order, got it home, and instead of X & Y, you gave me C & D, some of which I’m allergic to, and the prices on these items are less than half of what I paid.” I didn’t mention the tip, because that’s tacky.
They think it’s funny.
No interest in making it right. They deliver, so they could have sent out a corrected order. No interest in refunding even a portion of the order.
The only option was to go back and BUY IT AGAIN.
I can’t go back. It means going out AGAIN (in a pandemic, assholes), after I’ve already decontaminated and put everything into the wash. And why would I go back, since they aren’t interested in giving me a corrected order unless I BUY it again? So I’m now supposed to pay double because THEY screwed up? When I already gave them a tip of 50% of the price of what I already paid for that I can’t even eat or use? I’m supposed to blow next week’s food budget, too – and I GUARANTEE you they would put in the wrong order AGAIN.
That’s what I get for supporting a local business and giving a big tip.
Screwed.
There’s the food budget for the week gone. It’s actually more than I would have spent for the week, because it was supposed to be 3 days’ worth of dinners, at a much higher cost than if I bought groceries and cooked the same thing. I’m a freelancer. A fellow small business. It’s not like I have so much extra cash lying around IN A PANDEMIC. I won’t starve – I’ll live off the stockpile I’ve been putting aside for the next shutdown. But I blew my food budget for the week to support a local business who couldn’t be bothered to fill my order or fix their mistake.
I’m upset. I’m frustrated. I feel betrayed, that this company with whom I’ve done good business with for 15 years thinks it’s funny and okay to screw me.
I don’t want to hear ONE WORD more from the restaurant industry about how they’re struggling when this is how they treat their customers. I talked about this on social media and was surprised how many DMs I got about people telling me stories about how the restaurants can’t be bothered with the customers trying to support them.
As a consumer, I’m frustrated. Businesses are crying that they’re suffering, but they treat their customers like crap and then want them to spend even more? No.
Give us what we paid for in a timely fashion OR communicate that you can’t clearly and why and set a new timeline. OR, when there’s a screwup, work WITH us for a mutually beneficial solution.
Because I am NOT going to continue to give money to businesses – be they large corporations or solopreneurs – who treat me like shit.
Don’t tell me to “support local business” when they won’t fulfill their part of the transaction.
As a consumer, I’m frustrated.
As a marketing person, I am appalled that these businesses think they can keep getting away with screwing their customers.
Maybe, just maybe, some of the businesses that are going under are doing so because they’ve betrayed their customers often enough that the customers have walked away.
It goes with what I talked about for months pre-pandemic. This area has a non-reciprocal economy. I’m a small business, and a skilled worker. But I’m supposed to take a job that’s not in my profession for a fraction of my rate because “we don’t pay for that” meaning my profession. But when I go further afield to clients who appreciate my skills and pay me for the value I bring to my work, I am told I’m not “supporting the local economy.”
Even though my very presence puts money into the local economy by paying taxes, shopping for necessities, shopping for gifts and whatever non-essentials I can afford at any given time, etc. I put money into the economy regularly, but I am not supposed to receive money for my skills. The only reason I CAN put money into the local economy is because I have clients who live FAR AWAY who pay me for my skills. If I was only earning minimum wage in one of the local shit jobs that aren’t in my profession, I’d have even less to spend locally.
And why shouldn’t it be a two-way street? It’s not like my skills aren’t needed. But they don’t want to pay for them. Yet I’m supposed to pay and pay and pay but not BE PAID.
That’s not a sustainable model.
It’s one of the reasons the local economy was a mess even before the pandemic.
Cats and Stuff
Yesterday, Willa stole Charlotte’s catnip banana, so then Charlotte ran upstairs and stole Tessa’s catnip banana, and then Tessa ran into the other room and stole Willa’s banana. Everyone still had a catnip banana, but it was the WRONG catnip banana, so there was hissing and yowling involved until we got them all switched back.
So much for peace by catnip banana.
Tessa has decided she really likes my grandmother’s rocking chair (which is by the window and the heater in my bedroom). She has decided she will now reign from there.
The landlord came to look at the newly installed furnace. Now he’s telling me the bank from whom he got the loan wants copies of my utility bills. I think that’s inappropriate. I’m not the one who applied for the loan. On top of that, I had months where I had to give up work to have various “estimates” come in from different companies, and we were supposed to get new insulation, a new fridge, and a new washer as part of this furnace upgrade deal — NONE OF WHICH IS HAPPENING. I’m not giving my financial information to a bank with whom I don’t do business. They’ll get copies of the bill — with my name and information and account number blanked out. They can see the final amount, but not personal details.
Today, I have client work and article work and LOIs to focus on. Let’s hope it’s a productive and creative day. I’m just exhausted physically and emotionally and sick of everyone. I got my check from Llewellyn for the 2021 annual, which was a nice lift to my day.
Normally, in a Mercury Retrograde, these purchases would be easy-peasey. But with the Mars retrograde layered over it, everything is a conflict and a problem. Add the Neptune retrograde (creativity slowed down, especially for Pisces) and Uranus retrograde (the need for economic and political change), and this period of time sucks.
I’d rather just make like a Victorian and take to my bed today, but that is not an option.
Hope you have a good one, friends.
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