Tues. July 20, 2021: Enjoying the Differences

image courtesy of kareni via pisabay.com

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Waxing Moon

Pluto, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Chiron Retrograde

Cloudy and mild

I’m starting to wonder if I will ever stop feeling like crap. I’m still achy and fatigued all the time.

It was a good, fairly restful weekend. I got my script coverage done by late Friday afternoon, and didn’t have to worry about it all weekend.

There was a good bit of rain, but I managed to get some errands done Saturday morning, in between storms. I met the husky puppy two doors down, and a lovely, sleek black cat in the parking lot where the car now lives when not in use (who had a lot to tell me). People are better about masking and social distancing here than they were on Cape. No surprise that COVID cases are on the uptake with a cluster around Provincetown, etc.

Read a lot this weekend, including re-reading some Terry Pratchett, and reading a book by a popular author using a trope of which I’m sick. I’m sick of the trope of leaving the city to go back to the hometown and reconnecting with one’s first love. Yes, it’s fantasy. It can also be toxic. It also shows a lack of growth from teen years.

Was assigned another book to review, which I will start this morning, while I’m at the laundromat.

Got some unpacking done (not enough, but rooms are slowly taking shape). Put up a pretty lace curtain at the front door, instead of the broken blinds. Put up most of the wind chimes. Have a nice little reading corner set up in my office.

I hate being separated from so many of my books and dishes. It’s painful. Also, because I have bookcases of varying shapes, heights, and sizes, I can’t store my books by subject, but I have to put them where they fit. At least for the moment.

Trying to find a good routine, one that also works for the cats, because they love their routines.

Sunday night, I was approached by the Cape Cod Writers Center. One of their instructors for their online conference dropped out due to a family emergency, so I was asked to take over the class. I’m happy to do so. It’s on Character, and I have some ideas that hopefully will help the participants. I’m trying to keep it along the lines of the original class blurb, and what they signed up for, although I’ll probably push them a little harder. And they will have handouts, because I am the Queen of Handouts.

I got to work on Monday, playing with ideas for the class. I did a short piece for the Llewellyn Almanac, got some script coverage done. Started rereading Gail Godwin’s QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD. There was a point where I loved her writing, until she got so obsessed with religion, and I want to see how I still feel about it, years later. I read two volumes of her journal, which were interesting to a point, but she’s so obsessed with boys (not men, boys) and always puts them ahead of her writing, which gets tedious. I see a glimmer of that in the beginning of this book, the protagonist doing so, and I hope that’s not the case.

I submitted a short story to a call, and several calls for plays landed in my inbox – I might even have relevant plays to submit. I will get to that today and tomorrow. I want to get back to have 13 in Play all the time – always have at least 13 pieces out there, earning their way in the world.

I got through a few hundred emails. Still catching up from the move.

Slowly, slowly easing back into creative life. I want to meet the other artists around here – I have a feeling MassMOCA will be my go-to for that, at least initially. At the same time, with virus numbers going up, I’m not comfortable being around strangers indoors, even though I’m vaccinated, and continue to mask. Most of the writers’ events are still virtual. WordXWord has an event at The Mount, outdoors, the next few nights, but I don’t’ know if I feel up to going. I go to the grocery store, the liquor store, the library (always masked), and that’s about it. I might go to some outdoor events, if the weather ever improves. We’re close to the college, and they require all students, teachers, staff, and vendors to be fully vaccinated, so that makes the neighborhood safer for all of us.

Yesterday afternoon, I could hear a composer, in one of the houses in the neighborhood, working on the latest piece. It was wonderful to hear that creation going on, as I was doing my own work. Creativity fuels creativity.

More writing, script coverage, LOIs today on the agenda. More work on the class, so I can start putting together the PowerPoint for it. More unpacking. Reading. After I get back from the laundromat, I might try to find the Big Y grocery store (supposedly less than a mile away). If the weather is decent, maybe tomorrow, we’ll jaunt over to Williamstown and Bennington. If the weather holds this afternoon, maybe we can go to Windsor Lake, which is supposedly a 3-minute drive.

The cats are getting used to the space and having fun running up and down. It’s a long, narrow space, front to back. Tessa loves running up and down the stairs to the front door, fast as can be, while the other two watch. Charlotte and Tessa still fuss at each other, mostly late at night, but not as badly as before. Hopefully, they are adjusting.

They all love to watch the birds. We have lots of trees around here, sturdy trees, and people aren’t constantly trying to cut them down. We also have two bird houses and a nest up in the rafters of our back balcony. The cats are fascinated. No matter which window they sit in, throughout the house, or the kitchen overlooking the back balcony, or the front porch, overlooking the street, there are birds to watch.

We used to have lots of birds around the house on Cape, until all the neighbors destroyed habitat. I’m sure the owner’s going to cut a bunch of trees down, now that we’re gone.

No longer my problem, although I hurt for the wildlife there, especially Che Guevara Chipmunk and the coyotes.

Meanwhile, I have a new area to learn. Living in the mountains is very different than living by the sea.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Monday, May 16, 2011
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde
Rainy and cool

As Saturday wore on, I got much more cheerful. I took care of some client emails, I caught up, via email, with some friends. The summer’s booking up, not just with work, but with friends coming to visit. After all, I live in one of the best vacation spots in the country. Why not come visit?

I’m pitching for two huge jobs with two organizations I adore. I have to keep the personal out of it, in order to create a good business deal, but I hope they like the proposals. Of course, I want to land BOTH gigs, which would be enormously challenging, but also, enormously fulfilling. I just have to make the proposals persuasive enough to convince them they can’t live without me! 😉

Most of the weekend was caught up in bird trauma. I kept hearing a thumping noise at one of the windows. A little bird (which I identified as a tufted titmouse) kept flinging himself against the window and yelling. He’d been doing it so much that one side of his chest was all bloody. I tried to make it impossible for him to see his reflection: open the drapes, close the drapes, cover the window with paper, hang my yoga mat over it. Didn’t work. I tried hanging small bells from short threads (so he wouldn’t get caught in them) to make noise. Didn’t work. I was worried he’d kill himself. I couldn’t see a nest in the tree. I went outside to see if there was a nest stashed in the eaves of the house or baby bird on the ground or a distressed mate. Nothing.

I called one agency that’s supposed to deal with this and was told, “ We deal with the land, not the animals on it.” Um, aren’t they connected? I called the group in my former hometown who publicizes how much they care about nature, and was told, “It’s only one bird. There are thousands of them. This one doesn’t matter.” No wonder that’s where the City Council members who sat with one hand shoved up their collective ass and the other for a payout from the scumbag landlords who are driving people out of their homes (my mother included) all met. Typical attitude of my former hometown. I called the 24-hour hotline that’s supposed to handle this, and was told there’s nothing they can do until the bird knocks himself unconscious — which is what I was trying to prevent. I tried contacting local rehabilitators — the ones the hotline would have hooked me up with anyway. Not one of them could be bothered to get back to me. Hypocrites.

Then, some workmen who weren’t scheduled to show up showed up, sending the dog and I into fits. I called the owners of the site to make sure they were who they said they were. She said they weren’t supposed to be there that day — they’d talked about scheduling a day and time, but it had never happened. But, since they were there, they could work. Again, typical of this area. Workmen have no respect for anyone else’s time or appointments, and show up or don’t show up as they feel like it. On the Cape, you make an appointment, they show up when you both agree, they do the work, all is good.

They did the work, the Titmouse went away, the dog didn’t trust them any more than I did, so we retreated to the basement until they were done. Once they left, I checked all the doors and windows, to make sure nothing had been “fixed” to not lock properly. I might not have been so suspicious if the dog (who is friendly and not particularly brave) hadn’t been so adamant in staying between me and any workman at any given time. I’m grateful, and I totally trusted the dog’s instincts.

It was raining, and the Titmouse sat in the tree outside the window, crying and looking miserable, but at least didn’t fling himself against the window anymore.

Again, typical of this area: They pay ridiculous amounts of money at Whole Foods (or, Whole-in-the-Wallet Foods, as a bunch of us call it), but use toxic lawn materials and cleaners.

Caught up on the class (so enjoying this group), watched some TV. Didn’t like the book I was supposed to read, so read some books just for fun. Got a little bit of writing done, but not enough.

It rained hard Saturday into Sunday. But as soon as it lessened, the Titmouse started in again — on a different window. From a different tree. This time, there’s a small nest in the tree, but nothing in it. And he didn’t fling himself against the window, just flew up to it, chattered, and flew away.

All. Day. Long.

When he was quiet, I was afraid he’d knocked himself out and went looking for him. No. He simply did the same at a different window. He’s acting like the entire house is a threat. As long as he’s not bashing himself into anything, I don’t have to worry quite as much.

Read. Caught up on classes. Had a quiet day. Wanted to be home.

Up early this morning, packed and did last minute prep to go home. The bird is at it again, but he seems to be healing. And I found a small feather on the carpet of one of the rooms, but there’s no way a bird got inside, so go figure.

I’m looking forward to being home. It’s supposed to rain all week, so I guess I won’t be mowing (gee, so sad. Yes, that’s sarcasm).

Costume Imp is coming back up for a week in June, which will be tons of fun. Hopefully, I’ll have my manuscript in by then, and know what’s going on with Confidential Job #1.

Someone I’ve known for a long time actually had the gall to say that when this lease is up, I should move “closer to a train station”, so it would be easier for me to travel down to that particular job –which can’t be counted on, changes dates all the time, and is only maybe one week a year. Had we been in the same room, I would have slapped him. Yeah, not professional, but I would have done it anyway. Talk about total disrespect that anyone else has a life. You know what? I’m not “the help” and I won’t be treated like a servant. Period. End of story.

Yeah, I’m grumpy today! It’s not going to be fun to drive home in this weather, and I won’t be able to leave until late afternoon or early evening. There are things I SHOULD be doing, and I don’t want to do a damn one of them. I am In A Mood! 😉

Don’t worry; I’ll get over myself as soon as I scoot across the Sagamore Bridge!

To answer PJ’s question about Saturn Retrograde:
There’s a difference between a Saturn Retrograde and a Saturn Return. The Saturn Return happens once about every 28 years, and lasts for about 2 years. Your life dissolves and reassembles during that period of time. Sometimes it’s painful. A lot of people either get married, or, if they’re already married, get divorced or have a major shift in the relationship at 28. People often change careers, loved ones die, the whole thing. William and Kate got married when they were both in their Saturn returns, to use a pop culture example.

A Saturn retrograde happens once every year for several months — around five or six. I’d have to look it up; can’t remember off the top of my head. Saturn is the planet of life lessons. If you’re on a path that’s counterproductive to whatever you want to call it — your destiny, your higher purpose, your real self — you will encounter more problems and obstacles than usual, especially if you’ve known that there are problems and have made the choice to stay in the situation that’s bad for you. During a Saturn retrograde, the first time you refuse to make a positive change, you get smacked upside the head. The next time, you might get fired or your car might break down and not be able to be fixed or your relationship falls apart — it will be in the area where you refused to change the previous time, and it will be worse. Every subsequent Saturn retrograde in which you refuse to make positive changes, it will get harder and harder. If you refuse to jump, you will be pushed. When you make the choice to go towards something better, even when it’s scary, it will still be difficult, but you’ll start to see things smoothing out pretty quickly.

Then, the next Saturn retrograde comes around, and you’re faced with new challenges. Saturn is the “tough love” teacher. Saturn forces growth and change. So, when you look at the calendar and see Saturn retrograde coming, you can sit down and say, “where do I need to make positive changes?” If you start them before the retrograde, you’ll still feel the push, but it won’t be as painful. If you sit and do nothing, you wind up with metaphysical bruises on your behind and your psyche.

In my own life, I left Broadway a good two full Saturn Retrogrades after I knew I needed to go, and the last few months, even though I loved the show I was on and the people, I was miserable, because I knew I needed to be elsewhere. Had I remained for another cycle, something pretty painful would have happened to force me out, because I was on a truly unhealthy path for me to follow.

Right now, too, remember, that Pluto is also retrograde, which means what is hidden is revealed. If someone’s been lying to you or stabbing you in the back, it comes out now. If you look at an astrological calendar and compare it to when the most scandals (as far as people trying to keep things hidden) break, it’s usually during a Pluto Retrograde.

Too many people use astrology as an excuse to behave badly. “Oh, Mercury’s Retrograde, of course I crashed the car and my computer failed and so-and-so got mad at my comment.” Yes, it’s more likely to happen during a Mercury Retrograde. But, if you looked at the calendar, you could have been more careful driving, backed up your computer so that when it went kaboom it wasn’t a total loss, and you could have kept your damn mouth shut.

The purpose of these calendars is to look at them, see the POTENTIAL influences (because the planet is additionally influenced by where it sits in your natal chart. Me and Saturn? We’re screwed! 😉 Seriously, where Saturn sits in my natal chart causes me different kinds of difficulties than where it sits in someone else’s chart). You look at it, you know the potential challenges/obstacles/problems. You’re more aware. My mantra in Mercury Retrograde is,”stay low, stay quiet, go shopping.” If I am angered by what someone else says, I take a deep breath and try not to respond, because getting involved in a dispute during Mercury Retrograde is bound to take longer to resolve than otherwise. I try, very hard, not to sign contracts. During a Saturn retrograde — or, rather, when I see one coming — I try to look back over the life lessons last time. What did I miss? What did I not implement? Sometimes, I misinterpret, and then get a bit of a smack during the retrograde.

I came into this one thinking it would be easy because I did the move, I’m out of the wardrobe business, I’ve got a writing room, I’ve set up my schedule, etc., etc. I straightened out a lot of things that were problems, and I made choices to let certain things go, instead of acting like that bird I mentioned above.

And yet, here I am, with a bunch of new lessons to learn, this time having to do with the changing vision of my career. I don’t want to make decisions out of haste, anger, or fear. I want to really look at the options, listen to the messages, listen to myself, and then figure out the actions I need to take.

There’s this theory that “doing nothing is a choice.” Well, when it comes to the Universe, and the Universe has been telling you to DO SOMETHING and you ignore it, it considers stasis a vacuum. So, it’s going to fill that vacuum by kicking your butt hard enough to make you pay attention and fill it.

The planets don’t give you excuses. They give you information. And how you choose to use it can make things smoother or easier on the path. Survival is tough enough — I’d rather listen and try to make the choice the first time than put my hands over my ears and sing, “La la la” until my butt is kicked into the abyss.

Granted, it doesn’t always work out the way I think it will (usually quite differently), but when I listen and at least TRY, the results, in the long run, are much more positive.

Devon

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Saturday, February 12, 2011
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Cloudy and cold

Late posting, because well, it has been INTERESTING, that’s for sure (although maybe just to live, not to read).

Trip down yesterday was okay. Lovely sunshine, more traffic that I wanted, but I made it down in just over 4 hours, including two stops. All good. Went grocery shopping for a few last things, etc.

Some unexpected developments took up most of the afternoon, but that’s why I’m here, to solve problems. So, all was set at Site #1, things sorted out.

Moved over to Site #2 this morning, had some more unexpected kerfuffle to sort, but it seems to be sorted. Have to run out this afternoon quickly to take care of a couple of things and then it’s back to writing. I don’t usually write much in the afternoon, I’m more creative in the morning, but here’s hoping I can get it together and focus.

A gorgeous red fox is roaming between the sites of Site #1 and Site #2 (which aren’t far from each other on the same street). Definitely the same one — so lovely. Fox is one of my totems, so I’m always happy to see one close enough to appreciate it, but far enough away to honor the fact that it’s not a house pet.

It amazes me how much more stressful everything is here than on the Cape. Everyone’s running and frantic and worried. There’s the same amount to be done in both places, but somehow it all gets done on time, more efficiently, and with less fuss on the Cape than here.

Also, because it’s a Saturn Retrograde, every time I’m put in a position where I’d usually be RE-actionary, I stop, take a breath and think, “Saturn retrograde. How can I approach this differently than I have in the past?” and then I try something new. The “new” tends to be more ACTionary and REactionary, and gets things done with less stress, and, certainly, fewer personal/personnel conflicts.

So, knowing a retrograde is in place doesn’t mean just shrugging and using it as a reason for things going wrong — it’s a chance to change patterns that haven’t worked in the past.

I’m not entirely successful yet, but at least I’m aware and making an effort.

Both job sites have wonderful bird feeders and watching the birds is just amazing. The cardinals, blue jays, woodpeckers, and all the other birds I can’t yet identify — I could spend hours just watching them.

Okay, I better get going and get my errands done so that I can settle in and write. Tomorrow I move back to Site #1.

Back to the page. It looks like it wants to snow again, so I better get everything done before it does.

Devon

Published in: on February 12, 2011 at 11:47 am  Comments (3)  
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