Thursday, September 2, 2010

September 2, 2010
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde
Neptune Retrograde
Jupiter Retrograde
Mercury Retrograde
Hot, cloudy, humid

Honestly, I can’t remember much of yesterday. I know I didn’t get as much work done as I wanted (same old refrain) because I can’t concentrate on anything except the need to get out of here. For some reason, the “workmen” packed up and left at 1 PM — left their stuff, but packed it the way they do for weekends. I wonder if it’s got something to do with the expected hurricane or if someone somewhere acted on my complaint. Or if our landlord didn’t pay them, which wouldn’t surprise me at all. I’m sure management will blame me, no matter what.

I’m frustrated with some of the other tenants. I’d done some research, shared information with them that could help us — which the head of the Tenants’ Organization should have been on top of, not me. I explained what the information means a half a dozen times, and I’m still getting the “how can they do this? what’s going on? What does this mean?” When I’ve TOLD them over and over and over and over again, provided link, provided background research. I am NOT doing their work for them. I am not the Representative here. They have all the resources. Now they have to APPLY it as individuals, not expect me to do so. It’s like talking to wallpaper. I am the only one, since the problems with the landlords and Evil Developers started, who has EVER taken time off from work to deal with this. We’d have all been out on the street four years ago otherwise. And they still are passive and stupid and whiny. When I have spent two and a half hours with someone going over the paperwork point-by-point DO NOT call me and act like you’ve never seen any of this before. Unacceptable.

The sooner I get out of here and away from them, the better. I’m not giving any of them a forwarding address! That sounds mean, but I’m sick of the passive bullshit. If you want me to do the work, you better be paying me and paying me well. So far, only one person has offered anything along those lines for me — a fellow freelancer who understands that time is money.

I fully expect the landlords to try the eviction notice ploy — they do that to every tenant who fights back, and, as long as the tenant has paid rent regularly (which I have), the judge throws it out. It’s yet another harassment tactic. Fortunately, there’s a form for that.

Yeah, this place is sucking the life out of me. Can’t wait to get out.

Sorted and purged a bunch of stuff. Did some research on a project. Am trying to get the financial ducks in a row. Took care of Elsa. I still have to hand feed her every 1-2 hours (“Two spoons, Elsa, come on, two spoons” is now the refrain here, and every time Elsa sees a teaspoon, she thinks it’s all about her), but she’s slowly eating a little better every day, and she’s fairly alert. We were all pretty languorous when the mid 90’s heat and humidity kicked in, but she’s hanging in there.

I’m anxious and jumpy and paranoid all the time at this point — every time one hears footsteps, one wonders, “What fresh hell do the landlords have in store for us?” and every time footsteps pound up and down the fire escape, I’m ready for a nervous breakdown. This is not the way I want to live my life.

Thank goodness for the yoga mat. At least I can grab an hour or so of solace here and there on the mat. It’s saving what’s left of my sanity.

Decent, but not brilliant writing session on the Willowspring Grove novel. As I mentioned before, I worked out the character arcs for the whole series, but I’m letting each book shape itself. What’s interesting here is that my original vision for the book was about loss, and yet the book is more about warmth and community and hope. I like the direction it’s taking. I’m trusting in my characters.

Back to the work on Confidential Job #1, a script assignment, and polishing my lectures.


Note: As soon as I posted this, I remembered what I did most of the day: feng shui. I don’t want the purging and sorting and packing to interfere with the energy to get the hell out of Dodge – I want it support that energy.

First Willowspring Grove novel (Handwritten first draft): 38,750 words out of est. 100,000 (38.75%)

Published in: on September 2, 2010 at 6:13 am  Comments (7)  
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