Fri. Feb. 21, 2020: Recovery Day

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Today is my recovery day. I plan to stay quiet.

Published in: on February 21, 2020 at 7:07 am  Leave a Comment  

Thurs. Feb. 20, 2020: Surgery Day

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Thursday, February 20, 2020
Waning Moon
Mercury Retrograde

Today is surgery day. I’d appreciate it if you could hold a good thought for me.

Published in: on February 20, 2020 at 7:05 am  Leave a Comment  

Wed. Feb. 19, 2020: Almost There

Wednesday, February 19, 2020
Waning Moon
Mercury Retrograde

Tomorrow is surgery day. If you have a moment to think a good thought for me, I’d appreciate it.

At this point, I just want to get it over with. I’m moving between discomfort and pain, and the exhaustion grows exponentially.

Some guy with zero credentials is on the Internet yapping that a woman can “go back to work the next day” after this type of surgery. Um, no. Maybe some women HAVE to, because so few of us ever have the luxury of being sick, but I’m following doctor’s orders and staying quiet for the weekend. Which is still much better than the recovery would have been from the original, more radical surgery.

Today would be my friend Pam’s birthday. We lost her in August of 2018 to a rare form of cancer, and I’ve been thinking of her throughout this whole process.

While the original doctor last week was all gloom & doom, the specialist is far more upbeat, and we won’t know for sure until the pathology tests come back in a couple of weeks anyway. So let’s get it damn over with.

When I got home Monday from working with the client, I was exhausted, and could hardly move for the rest of the day. Read a bit. Watched the end of MURDERLAND. It’s a brilliant acting exercise, but as a full production, it didn’t quite work for me.

Slept through the night into Tuesday, which is better than waking up and fretting.

Charlotte is trying to learn to be a writer’s kitty. When I work on the computer, she settles into her bed (which I put in the window, on top of one of the non-working printers) and she stays with me. It’s kind of cute.

Tessa is reclaiming the entire upstairs, so hopefully, it’s only a matter of time before she comes back down again, too.

Willa just tries to go with the flow. She was worried Monday afternoon, at my lethargy. She kept checking on me, gently tapping me with her paw, every few minutes.

Let the landlord know about the date for the Energy Assessment. If they come in the morning and are done by 1, great. If not, they have to reschedule. I’ve had it with strangers stomping through the house every few weeks, having to lose work because of it, all because suddenly the landlord has to deal with something he ignored for the past three years and doesn’t want to cough up the cash. It’s not my fault if he’s spent the rent money we paid in on other things.

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that we’re forced into this circus of an additional energy assessment because he never made any of the improvements advised by the last one; if they look at the date and the fact nothing was done, they’d deny the loan.

Meanwhile, we’ve had a furnace limping since autumn and can’t keep the upstairs warm.

Update: The “assessors” will be here at 9:30 in the morning that day, done by 11:30, so we should be fine. That gives me a couple of hours to shower and get ready for the follow-up tests. At least that’s working out.

Went in yesterday to work with my client for a few hours; left when I was too tired to go on, and losing the ability to concentrate. Swung by the library to drop off and pick up books and DVDS.

Came home, exhausted. By the end of the day, the last few days, I’ve been in tears out of sheer exhaustion & frustration. Took a bit of a rest. Then we vacuumed, mopped the floors, and did a bit of the set-up for Thursday.

My arm still really, really hurts from where it couldn’t hold the port for the CT scan. It’s not healing. Seven days later, it should be. I wish someone would take it seriously.

Most people are being great and supportive. However, there are some who are demanding that I change what I need to get through this and heal to what they need to feel noble. I have one person who has berated me for not being willing to be on the phone multiple times a day, because she’s “worried” about me.

Phone on a GOOD day is a nightmare for me, because of the hyperaccusis. Phone now? Any more than is necessary with the medical professionals? Out of the question. And to tell me that I’m supposed to increase my pain and misery to assuage her “worry”? No. Not my job. My job is to set my boundaries and put my healing needs and tools into place so I can heal. Not to accommodate someone else’s ego. I was also berated for posting here and on social media instead of instantly answering emails. Well, I can get the information out to most people here and on social media. I answer emails as soon as I can. It’s not going to be instant for the next period of time. It just isn’t. It might be ten minutes. It might be an hour. It might be tomorrow. Rewriting the same information 20 times a day to separate people is too much sometimes. I’m doing the best I can. Heck, there are some hours when BREATHING takes every bit of energy I have. Crossing the room has to wait.

For some reason, I’m craving the scent of rose, so I’m using rose oil. I’ve set out rose and lavender candles and incense (along with rosemary and sage for cleansing/antibacterial). I have an array of healing crystals to put around the bed. and a recovery menu put together from Kripalu and Moosewood recipes to speed healing. Everything is soft and cozy. At the very least, it’s a calm space to promote healing, and I intend to mix the best of modern medical science with the best of alternative therapies. There’s no reason for them to cancel each other out, when they can support each other.

I’m scheduling this to post, so I don’t really know what Wednesday will bring. I intend to go in and work with my client. In case I can’t come back in next week, I have everything they need all set to go — just hit the “send” or “post” button. If I’m the one doing it, it’s done and I don’t have to worry. The magazine editor confirmed receipt of the big article, and said we’d work together to make sure any revisions got done on time. She said it absolutely should not be one more stress on me this week, and for that, I am deeply grateful.

I have my “out of office” up on the gmail account. I will still be checking it when I can, but there will be delayed responses, depending on how I’m feeling.

One more trip to the library, to pick up the last few things that have come in. Then, we set up the sofabed in the living room, and I do the pre-op prep. I’m supposed to hear from the hospital sometime between 1-4 PM today as to when I should be in on Thursday, and then we get it done.

I doubt I’ll sleep much; no matter how much medicine has evolved or how simple this procedure is (as opposed to the one originally suggested), it’s still surgery. Even if it goes well, the pathology could come back less than what we hoped. Or they could find more than they expected during the procedure and have to adjust. Or something else could go wrong. There are just possibilities, not absolutes, until one is in the middle of it.

All I can do is prepare myself the best I can mentally and physically, go in with the best attitude I can, and hope for the best, while preparing as best I can for multiple outcomes.

In the meantime, be kind to each other, and live your life by your own rules, not somebody else’s.

Catch you on the other side, sometime next week.



Published in: on February 19, 2020 at 7:56 am  Comments (2)  

Mon. Feb. 17, 2020: Intent for the Week: Survival

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Monday, February 17, 2020
Waning Moon
Mercury Retrograde
President’s Day

If you’ve been following the blog, you know I’m currently facing some health issues, and will have surgery later this week. During Mercury Retrograde, which does not make me happy.

Therefore, my intent for the week is: Survival.

Going back to basics here!

What’s your intent?

Published in: on February 17, 2020 at 7:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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Wed. Feb. 12, 2020: More Tests

Wed. Feb. 12, 2020
Waning Moon
Weather is still crap

I’m setting this to post. I had yet more emergency medical appointments yesterday afternoon.

I’m in with a client today, and then a CT scan later this afternoon.

Hopefully, I’ll have some time to recover tomorrow, and then I can catch up.

I got some more quotes from the article and worked on it last night and this morning, so it can go out on time.

Hold a good thought for me. I have a feeling surgery is going to be sooner rather than later.

Published in: on February 12, 2020 at 6:53 am  Leave a Comment  

January 31, 2020: Month Changeover, Fresh Chances, Achieving, and Falling Short

Friday, January 31, 2020
Waning Moon
Sunny and mild

Hop on over to the Goals, Dreams, and Resolutions site, for my January wrap-up. I have mixed feelings about my progress. And then hop over to Affairs of the Pen to see a post about how writing about Sophie and her capacity for joy is such a pleasure.

Got some decent work done at the library yesterday, including getting the numbers put in on the US Numbered Format version of “Intrigue on the Aurora Nightingale.”
Now, I have to do the same for “Pier-less Crime” and then send them off to the director, so he has the trilogy (since he likes “Horace House” so much).

Got a carload of leaves to the dump. Maybe this weekend, I can do some more yard work, if the weather holds.

Started watched THE BEST BRITISH BAKING SHOW Season 2 last night. Not as tight and funny a group as on Season 1. Competitions just aren’t my thing. When I’m baking, I’m going to keep at it until I get it right, not be forced to do something new to me in a couple of hours. No, thanks. I like this show better than most competition shows (which, for the most part, I loathe). But I still disagree with a lot of the parameters.

Working on the BALTHAZAAR revisions. Tearing out a whole subplot section and rebuilding it, which is a challenge.

I have the short story in my head, clear as can be. But can the words find the page properly?

Absolutely disgusted with the GOP Senators. They all belong in prison. And so disappointed in the Chief Justice.

Today is Brexit, so now the UK economy gets to crash, too. Not a good day, all the way around.

How did I do on my intent for the week, for quiet?

I decided not to attend a networking event. Work prevented me from attending meditation group. I kept my mouth shut at work more than I wanted, but it made sense so to do. There were several online conversations I chose not to enter, because the people involved weren’t worth the aggravation. They didn’t want genuine answers to their questions; they wanted their own views reinforced. Not worth the time and energy. I refrained from responding to an insulting email from the potential client meeting last week, where I’d withdrawn from consideration because we were not a good fit. Wednesday, they sent me a rude email saying they were going with someone else. Of course they did — I already told them I wouldn’t work for them. What are they, six? All about control, yet another indication that we weren’t the right fit.

Lots of reading and writing again this weekend; yard work if the weather holds, purging the basement if it doesn’t.

Have a great weekend! I have a slew of errands and bill-paying, and then it’s back to the page.

Thurs. Jan. 16, 2020: Rain, Writing, Other

Thursday, January 16, 2020
Waning Moon
Rainy and cold

The temperature is dropping, It’s going to snow this weekend.

Hop on over to Gratitude and Growth, for the latest on the garden.

Yesterday was exhausting with the client, and will be for the next few weeks, while we work on a big project. It’s fine, I’m just wiped out when I leave.

Home, worked with the cats. Charlotte was being difficult. But the Chewy order arrived, which put all three of them in a better mood.

Worked on contest entries, and am re-reading Donna Leon’s FATAL REMEDIES.

Up early this morning, took my mother to a medical appointment. Got some writing done. Off to two different libraries today, for resources that are unique to each.

I am determined to wrestle the end of “Trust” into something that works over the next few days.

Will start my next book for review tonight.

Hope to finish “Trust” and the Kate Warne curtain raiser, and also get some serious work done on BALTHAZAAR. That deadline is looming.

Hoping to get some more LOIs out today or tomorrow, and then polish some article proposals over the weekend.

At least there’s never a dull moment!

Published in: on January 16, 2020 at 10:55 am  Comments Off on Thurs. Jan. 16, 2020: Rain, Writing, Other  
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Fri. Dec. 27, 2019: Reading & Writing Day

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Although I ran some errands, I’m giving myself another day of reading and writing with no pressure.


Published in: on December 27, 2019 at 11:33 am  Comments Off on Fri. Dec. 27, 2019: Reading & Writing Day  

Fri. Nov. 29, 2019: Happy Day After Thanksgiving!


Happy Day-aFter-Thanksgiving! I’m enjoying the weekend, and starting to put up the next round of decorations!

Published in: on November 29, 2019 at 7:03 am  Comments Off on Fri. Nov. 29, 2019: Happy Day After Thanksgiving!  

Thursday, Nov. 28, 2019: Happy Thanksgiving


Have a wonderful day!

Published in: on November 28, 2019 at 7:01 am  Comments Off on Thursday, Nov. 28, 2019: Happy Thanksgiving  

Wed. Nov. 20, 2019: Mercury Direct, Please!

Wednesday, November 20, 2019
Waning Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde

I cannot tell you how glad I am that Mercury goes direct today. It kicked my ass. Yet again. I did some good inner work on resolving a few issues, but it kicked my ass.

Hop over to Ink-Dipped Advice. I’ve been having trouble on that site, with posting (and my host is useless). If it worked, there will be a post on The Artist Statement up.

If not, you’ll be able to hear me swearing wherever you are.

They never showed up on Monday to take a look at the deck. Or let me know they weren’t coming. Yes, it makes sense — it was rainy and raw. But they should have contacted me. I changed hours at my client’s, cancelled another appointment that was for billable hours, and didn’t go to meditation.

I’m tired of losing money because these people can’t be bothered to communicate or show up on time.

I had a good proofreading session in the afternoon, which made up for some of the loss, and a good rune study session.

Then, Monday night, started watching GOOD OMENS. I meant to watch two or three episodes. I watched 5 out of the 6. The production values are spectacular. David Tennant and Michael Sheen are amazing. Well, I think David is always amazing, but the little details, the swagger in Crowwley’s walk, the small gestures, the way he tossed off a line, or gives emphasis to a particular word — wonderful.

The library is doing automatic renewals now on materials that don’t have holds on them. I HATE it. Not only is it harder to keep track of the books, but it’s an insult. It assumes that I am not enough of a responsible adult to get my books back on time.

Tuesday was rainy and yucky, too. I was out early, putting the stake in the ground for the septic pumper guy to find the tank.

Decent few pages on THE BARD’S LAMENT. Good proofreading session.

I held the fort down alone at my client’s yesterday. Got some good work done, but also had to deal with things I don’t usually deal with, which got a bit distracting.

Watched the rest of GOOD OMENS last night. AFTER I did a bunch of housework, like vacuuming and mopping floors. And general tidying up. There are times when I feel like all I do is clean, and it’s dirty again in 5 minutes. And we’re not dirty people.

Up early this morning. Writing, proofreading. I’m going in early to my client’s because we’re leaving early to celebrate a colleague’s birthday.

My back is bothering me a lot. I have a feeling I’ll have to go to the doctor, once my insurance is sorted out again. MA insurance, AKA Romney-care is a joke. It’s about having insurance coverage in name only, not at all about actual care.

Meanwhile, one word at a time, one box at a time, one small thing at a time to get things into motion for the changes that need to be made. I want to take a break for the holidays and work more slowly. I need to work quickly on a couple of projects that need to be cleared off by the end of the year. But next year has to be different. Stronger. Better.

Both on the political spectrum for the country, removing the corrupt. And personally, to achieve what I want and need in my life.

Back to the page.


Published in: on November 20, 2019 at 6:05 am  Comments Off on Wed. Nov. 20, 2019: Mercury Direct, Please!  
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Friday, Nov. 1, 2019: Day of the Dead

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I have company for Samhain & Day of the Dead, and then I’m going to enjoy the weekend. Have a good one!

In the meantime, I have a post on choosing point of view in my books over on Affairs of the Pen.

Published in: on November 1, 2019 at 5:15 am  Comments Off on Friday, Nov. 1, 2019: Day of the Dead  
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Tues. Oct. 22, 2019: Ups & Downs

Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Waning Moon
Neptune Retrograde
Uranus Retrograde

Certainly been a challenging few days.

Most of the life has revolved around the cats. They were doing really, really well most of the weekend. Tessa and Charlotte even hung out on the sofa together. Willa slept on the bed with me. Then, yesterday morning, everyone regressed.

Time and patience. They just need time and patience.

I’m behind in the writing, which is also frustrating. Also, when I’m trying to write, all three cats are in the room, vying for my attention. There’s no door, so I can’t shut them out.

We had a lot of yard clean up after Thursday’s storm. Had to put out the decorations I’d taken in yet AGAIN. Prepping for meetings. Doing research.

Read a lot. Didn’t get to read my friend Arlene’s book yet. That’s on the agenda for this week.

Had to fight with the bank when they manipulated data in order to try charging fees. So I fought with them, had the evidence, and they backed down.

The new Target opened on Sunday. It’s nice to have a Target around. What they do, they do well. Plus it’s neat and clean and the staff is nice.

The check from Llewellyn arrived — early! For the 2020 pieces.

Turned around the edits on the piece for 2021, and my editor and I are talking about 2022. I’m so lucky with this editor. She always encourages me to make things better and catches me when I’ve gotten off track.

Went in to my client’s early on Monday, to accept a Fed Ex shipment. Left a little early, too. Could barely keep my eyes open.

Had another appointment, and then meditation group.

Relaxed with a book in the evening, and worked with the cats.

I’m discouraged on several fronts, and feeling jerked around by a few people. I need to get some rest, so I’m not coming from a place of grumpy and disshevelled, but from calm and rational.

I need to put together a marketing campaign, and prep for the release of GRAVE REACH. I need to finish the radio play. I need to get to work on the Canaletto play, and I need to get back into the edits for BALTHAZAAR.

I need more hours in a day, and more dollars per hour.

It sickens me to watch these people burning down the world for personal profit.

Published in: on October 22, 2019 at 6:03 am  Comments (2)