I already feel myself slipping back into the pre-move tensions, reliving the stress in both my body and my mind. It made sense last year, because it was still relatively close to the move.
But it’s unnecessary this year.
I keep reminding myself, when the feelings rise up, that yes, the feelings are real, but those stresses are no longer my reality, and I’m building something new.
I hope that April’s pillars of the increased yoga practice and Dramatists Guild End of Play program will help in that build, so that my body and my brain will accept this new, better reality.
Today the light and dark are in balance, and then it tips toward the light for the coming months. Days get longer.
The past few years, I feel like I lost a lot of myself, and that parts got fragmented and/or shattered.
My intent this week is to choose the shards I want, and to leave behind those I do not. I want to reclaim my self-esteem, sense of adventure, sense of being grounded in my work, optimism, and determination (among other things).
I want to leave behind much of the negatives of not just the years at the previous location, but negative patterns that I acquired beforehand, which may have served me early in my career, but no longer serve. Among those are demands for constant and unrealistic productivity, especially when it benefits only others; the projections others tried to force on me for their own convenience; the bewilderment at the hostility with which I was met at the previous location for my commitment to my work; the pain of constant self-defense to those who daily tried to tear me down to make themselves feel better; and the demand that I am the one who always has to comply/accommodate/defer to those who have not earned mutual physical and emotional space.
I’m aware these changes will take longer than a week, and are an ongoing process. But I want to use this day of balance as the moment where I step back into the parts of myself I like best, and choose to leave behind other parts.
Somewhere in my various readings this weekend, I came across the phrase “meet the day with ease” instead of stressing about everything that has to get done.
That’s my intent for this week — meet the WEEK with east. I have A LOT to get done in the first three days of the week, because I’m taking the last two off from client work.
Instead of worrying that it won’t get done, I will try to meet it with the confidence that it WILL get done, just maybe not at the time or in the order I predict.
Time to remove another layer from the stress onion.
We’re supposed to get 10 inches of snow overnight, and then another snowstorm at the end of the week.
I just got the car dug out yesterday!
Anyway, I was out the door by 8:30 this morning, got all errands done that were planned for the week, and grabbed some groceries, just in case. I’ll get as much work done while we have power/internet, roast a chicken, and then, if I’m stuck inside for the rest of the week, so be it.
I will work as I can, depending on power and internet, and what I can do offline.
I will take time to be cozy and watch the snow fall.
I will stick to my yoga and meditation practices.
I like living in a place with seasons, so I intend to enjoy as much as possible this week!
The next week and change are another blast of winter around here. The weather will fluctuate from rain to sleet to snow and back almost every day. It means cancelling plans to be out and about in a few instances, and hunkering down at home, focused on the work.
But plants are coming up and the cats are shedding their winter coats and flocks of birds are migrating back through.
I’ll just keep a small light going in my soul, reminding myself that spring suns and breezes are just around the corner.
This week, I intend to listen to both my body and my heart, and work with energy flows instead of against them. I hope to make that a permanent practice, whenever possible.
I know what has to be done, and in what general timeframe. But the specifics of that are up to me, and I don’t need to be bound to do a specific task at a specific time (in most cases, unless it’s a meeting or a class).
I’ve been working on this for some time, matching the energy to the task, but I want to find a way to get it into more of a flow, rather than the stop-start-ponder that it’s been.
The birds are singing, and it is unseasonably warm today, so I will probably also take some time to go outside, and enjoy that.
I have to deal with work across multiple arenas this week, so the key to the week will be pacing myself. I don’t want to push too hard too early in the week and have nothing left by the end. I don’t want to lag and then play catch-up at the end.
It’s snowing steadily today. It began last night and is supposed to continue until 10 PM tonight.
I finished yesterday and sent out anything due today.
I have writing to focus on as long as there’s power, and can switch to longhand if the power goes out.
With Mars, Mercury, and Uranus direct, and no other retrogrades at the moment, it’s time to expand, especially when it comes to work. Mars is still in Gemini until March, which causes some obstacles, but overall, it’s time for expansion, especially on professional and creative levels.
Last week started well, headed upward into inspiraton, then downard into multiple frustrations.
I took the weekend to write, clean, and get centered again, and my intent for this week is to re-balance. Handle the frustrations better, and be more thoughtful in my reactions.
Mars turns direct on Thursday, lifting an obstacle to forward movement, but the last few days of a retrograde intensify the influences. Pair that with Mercury Retrograde (and Uranus still in retrograde) and the week will have challenges.
I just want to meet them better than I did last week.
New Year’s is usually a struggle for me, so I try to keep it as quiet and calm as possible.
So often, we fling ourselves into the New Year that we overwhelm ourselves and burn out by the end of the first week or two. This year, I want to ease in with as much grace as possible.
The “grace” part will be a challenge with the current retrograde.
Due to the weather, I couldn’t ship out the computer to computer hospital until yesterday. I seriously doubt I’ll get it back until some time in January.
There aren’t scripts clamoring the queue; I’d hoped to read today and tomorrow, and then again on Thursday, and take off next week. Right now, it doesn’t look like I’ll read at all this week.
I’m okay with it.
I have a few more errands to do (cookie deliveries, postponed by weather, stocking stuffers) that I will do tomorrow. I’m taking the Solstice off to celebrate properly, and there’s a big storm coming in again just before the weekend holiday, so again, I will hunker down and enjoy it.
But the rest of the week will be reading and writing (yes, I still write in longhand).
My intent for the week is to not panic because the schedule isn’t what I planned; but to enjoy what IS.
The domestic cards are written; I will take them to the post office, probably tomorrow, when we are dug out of the storm.
The cookies are baked, and I will start delivering the platters tomorrow.
There’s a little more decorating to be done.
I don’t have any scripts in my queue for today (or the week). Instead of panicking, I am grateful to have a day in which to focus on other things. I trust the work I need will be there in its time.
My intent this week is to hold steady and get things finished, so that I can enjoy the holiday. Next week, midweek, is the Winter Solstice, which is my big holiday of this season. Then are the days of Christmas, New Year’s, and all the rest. And I intend to rest in that week between, as much as possible.
I’m crafting my vision for 2023, and figuring out how to manifest it. But this week, I want to hold steady and get things finished.
GWEN FINNEGAN MYSTERIES
Archaeologist Dr. Gwen Finnegan is on the hunt for her lover’s killer. Shy historical researcher Justin Yates jumps at the chance to join her on a real adventure through Europe as they try to unspool fact from fiction in a multi-generational obsession with a statue of the goddess Medusa.
Buy links here.
When plans for their next expedition fall through, Gwen and Justin accept teaching jobs at different local universities. Adjusting to their day-to-day relationship, they are embroiled in two different, disturbing, paranormal situations that have more than one unusual crossing point. Can they work together to find the answers? Or are new temptations too much to resist? For whom are they willing to put their lives on the line? Available on multiple digital channels here.NAUTICAL NAMASTE MYSTERIESSAVASANA AT SEA
Yoga instructor Sophie Batchelder jumps at the chance to teach on a cruise ship when she loses her job and her boyfriend dumps her. But when her boss is murdered, Sophie must figure out who the real killer is -- before he turns her into a corpse, too. A Not-Quite-Cozy Mystery.
Buy Links here.COVENTINA CIRCLE ROMANTIC SUSPENSEPLAYING THE ANGLES
Witchcraft, politics, and theatre collide as Morag D’Anneville and Secret Service agent Simon Keane fight to protect the Vice President of the United States -- or is it Morag who needs Simon’s protection more than the VP?
Buy links here.THE SPIRIT REPOSITORY
Bonnie Chencko knows books change lives. She’s attracted to Rufus Van Dijk, the mysterious man who owns the bookshop in his ancestors’ building. A building filled with family ghosts, who are mysteriously disappearing. It’s up to Bonnie and her burgeoning Craft powers to rescue the spirits before their souls are lost forever. Buy Links here. RELICS & REQUIEM
Amanda Breck’s complicated life gets more convoluted when she finds the body of Lena Morgan in Central Park, identical to Amanda’s dream. Detective Phineas Regan is one case away from retirement; the last thing he needs is a murder case tinged by the occult. The seeds of their attraction were planted months ago. But can they work together to stop a wily, vicious killer, or will the murderer destroy them both?
Buy link here.
Full Circle: An Ars Concordia Anthology. Edited by Colin Galbraith. My story is “Pauvre Bob”, set at Arlington Race Track in Illinois is included in this wonderful collection of short stories and poetry. You can download it free here.