image courtesy of Public Domain Pictures via pixabay.com
There’s a lot going on, and we have to figure out how to navigate it, personally and professionally.
Yes, we have to take care of ourselves. But not everything is about us. So we have to balance our own needs with our responsibilities to those around us. We have to decide where to cut ties, and where to give more physical and emotional space. Because most of us are doing the best we can. Some are energy vampires, trying to make it all about them, trying to suck everyone else’s life force. But most of us are trying to survive, thrive, and help those around us however we can.
So this week, with all that’s happening on large and small stages, is about navigating the rapids. Deciding when to speak up. Deciding when to STFU.
Do the best you can. Be as kind as possible. Because, in spite of the meme that it’s “always” possible to be kind, sometimes it’s not, not if you want to survive.
It wouldn’t surprise me if we got more than a foot of snow today. It’s coming down hard, and the city is on snow emergency, so most places are closed, and people are staying off the streets.
Yesterday, I spent the morning working on material for my friend’s grant proposal, and the turning around the edits for the 2023 Spell-A-Day. I thought it would take all day, but it didn’t. It was mostly proofing, and clearing up language on a couple of pieces. One had to be completely rewritten, and another, the editor and I went back and forth a couple of times to get it as specific as possible. But it’s all done, and ahead of the March 1 deadline.
In the afternoon, I turned around a script coverage.
We didn’t do much anthology brainstorming, because everyone’s affected by what’s going on in Ukraine. The world needs to do more, instead of standing around with thumbs up collective asses and talking sanctions. Putin needs to be crushed immediately, or it will just get worse. The Putin assets in the US need to be jailed and cut off at once, and then prosecuted for treason.
The Ukraine soldiers and people, who actually have courage and heart, make the MAGA QAnons look even more like pathetic cosplayers.
This is all hard on my mom, who escaped from a Russian prison camp in Czechoslavakia in WWII. She knows of what they’re capable.
I went to bed ridiculously early last night, and Charlotte woke me up a little after 5, because the snow made everything look light.
I should push hard today on a few things, but I just don’t want to. I will watch the snow. I will work on my grant proposal. I may do some work on the Big Project. If a script comes up that looks intriguing, I might cover it. Or I might give myself the day off from it. This weekend, I want to work on The Big Project, and on contest entries.
I can’t believe it will be March next week. I’d rather hibernate for a couple more months.
Yesterday, the temperature was in the mid-fifties. By evening, mid-thirties. This morning, sixteen. I wish the snow would come through today and be done by tomorrow, instead of the predicted all day tomorrow. I talk about the new shoots coming up over on Gratitude and Growth.
Yesterday, I wrote up some information on a topic I know a good bit about and sent it off as background information to another author I’d met via Twitter. I hope it’s helpful.
I sent email thank you notes to the presenters and organizations from Tuesday’s Zoom events. I finished up one script coverage and did another. I’m so far behind in where I should be, financially, this pay period. But I just haven’t had the mental energy to give the proper attention to two scripts per day. I’ll have to ramp it up again next week, but these past two weeks, I’ve just been tired.
The weather was all over the place, so I didn’t go out to run errands or do laundry. I did some brainstorming on the anthology. I did some work for the grant proposals.
I started thinking about what I want to do for next year’s International Women’s Day Project and then realized THIS year’s IWD is about two weeks away, and I haven’t done anything. I thought of a good project I can do in that time, and also made notes for a bigger project I want to do for next year. If I can get some funding for next year, I’ll open it up to contributors, but I want to make sure I can pay anyone who wants to participate.
I can put together my more personal one for this year within the time frame. And then I was stymied by the simplest of questions – whether to post the project here, on this blog, or make it a more permanent tribute on the main website.
I do not understand why, since the pandemic started, the most basic decisions I used to make without difficulty, have become overwhelming. I don’t like it. My “normal” is to be decisive, not waffle. But it’s as though I now only have the capacity to make a limited number of decisions across the board, and once I hit that number, I can’t make any more.
I have to figure out how to work past that.
I also haven’t figured out what to do for World Theatre Day.
The pendulum clock that I got in that funny little Treasure Hut store behaves as though it’s haunted. Which can be kind of fun, and I can build a good piece of fiction around it. But sometimes, it’s odd to live with. It keeps time just fine, but sometimes it gets chatty and noisy. Then it settles down. Then it gets chatty again. I need to name it.
My Llewellyn editor sent me the edits for the 2023 Spell A Day. It’s got a tight turnaround, so that will be the focus of today’s work, after meditation group. I was thinking of trying to do a library run up and back, but I don’t think I can make it before the storm starts. The prediction is that it starts tonight, but the way the sky looks, and my head feels, it might start earlier.
I was sniffly yesterday, so there was also that layer of is this a seasonal cold, or did I catch The Plague? I feel okay today. If I feel bad a few days in a row, I’ll take the home COVID test, and, if necessary, get a more in-depth one. But I’m hoping it’s the seasonal change/housecleaning/unpacking.
But I felt well enough to dance around the kitchen listening to death metal while I cooked dinner, and figured out several plot points in the anthology story. Yes, I listen to everything from Mozart to Celtic rock to death metal, and most things in between. Except country.
The situation in Ukraine is heartbreaking and infuriating. The world better ally against Russia. Because Putin won’t stop at taking back former Soviet bloc countries. He’ll keep going into Europe. Stop him now. And remove those in Congress (and on Fox News) who support him.
I hope to get some work on The Big Project done. I think I have to break some sections down into smaller sections, in order for the rhythm to work.
I forgot to mention the post over on the GDR site about one’s practice; and later today, there will be a post over on Ink-Dipped Advice about being “Invited to apply.” The latter was supposed to post last week and didn’t. There’s a glitch with the scheduling tool, but I think it’s fixed.
I haven’t talked about the Ukraine situation because there’s nothing of value I can add to the conversation. Of course I’m upset at another war, especially one started by Russia. And I think the Congresspeople who pander to Putin (especially those who visited him on July 4th a few years ago) should be prosecuted for treason and face the ultimate penalty for it. Nothing short of that will stop them. That’s all they understand.
The entrepreneur meetup was interesting. Cool project, I’m looking forward to trying it. I didn’t say much, because there wasn’t anything to say; the presentation was clear, it’s an interesting piece, and now I need to interact directly with it. Any speaking I did would have been for the sound of my own voice, and that’s not necessary.
Part of the difficulty with networking (apart from the whole pandemic/isolation bit) is that I have to balance the need/ability to network with protecting the work. The work has to always come first, the writing. Things like The Big Project and the plays and writing/editing the books. Everything else has to build around it and feed into it, being “in addition to” not “instead of.” Sometimes that’s a difficult balance to strike. At other times, it’s impossible.
Headed to the library to drop off/pick up books. By the time I got home, it was raining, and kept raining, harder and harder, all day and into the night.
I renewed my Boston Public Library eCard, so that I have access to all their digital resources, which includes access to work via the British Public Library. That will help in my research.
Spun out some ideas for two grant proposals (one for one of my projects, one for a friend who’s got a big project). Did some brainstorming on the anthology. Covered a script for which I was requested (although I have to finish writing it up this morning).
In the evening, I attended a virtual author talk between Nina de Gramont and Wiley Cash about THE CHRISTIE AFFAIR. It was sponsored by Titcomb’s Bookshop. It was a lovely event. She’s a gracious and interesting speaker. Wiley Cash was lively and asked great questions, and I want to read his new book, too (I haven’t read any of his work before). There was a discussion about themes built around the different marriages in the book, and how unwed mothers were treated in Ireland at the time, which was very interesting, since so much of the press around the book focuses on Christie’s disappearance, and on the mystery side of it (and there are mysteries within mysteries in the book, too).
I started reading THE DECAGON HOUSE MURDERS by Japanese author Yukito Ayatsuji, translated by Ho-Ling Wong. It’s inspired by Agatha Christie’s AND THEN THERE WERE NONE. It’s very clever and well done.
Although not a lot of words got onto paper, it was still a creative and interesting day, which is always a good thing.
Charlotte woke me up at 2, wanting attention. By 2:30, Tessa was howling, because Charlotte was getting attention and Tessa wasn’t. I moved to the couch, but couldn’t get comfortable. I finally dozed off and woke up around 6:30, completely disoriented.
But I have to “pull up my socks” as they say, and get moving. Lots to do today. Too messy out to hump the laundry to the laundromat, but I may go over to the college library and hunt down some research materials for various projects. And then, of course, more script coverage.
Friday was kind of a disjointed day. A client issue that was supposedly resolved came up again, as though the initial conversation never happened. This is why I do everything in writing.
But, hopefully, it’s all actually handled now.
Got some admin done. The weather was nasty, but I managed to get out the garbage and go down to the end of the street to mail some necessary letters.
Finished reading the book for book club, and spent some time in the online forum discussing it, which was lots of fun. This book has inspired several new projects, about which I’m excited. They are all long-term, non-deadlined projects at this point, things I can work on as palate-cleansers in between other projects.
My mom’s new smart phone arrived. It’s a good one, a Samsung, much fancier than mine. But the “one step” setup/transfer from her old phone to the new phone took well over 100 steps and wasn’t complete until well into Saturday. And Tracfone’s “customer service” was, as usual, useless. But I think we might be able to unlock/take the phone to a different company, if things continue to be nasty.
I had a bad night Friday into Saturday, waking up every couple of hours, and then having trouble getting back to sleep. I think some of it is sense memory trauma – two years ago, I had the first of the cancer surgeries; last year I was stressed about the upcoming move. My body and psyche are reverting, because they believe they’ve been trained to do so at this point in the year.
Which means I have to do mindful work to disconnect the cycle of the year from previous cycles of stress and trauma, and build something positive.
Just what I need right now. More work.
But, in the long run, it will make for a more positive life experience, so I better dig in and do it.
On Saturday, I was supposed to head to the grocery store for N95 masks. They’d sent an email the previous day, saying they were giving them out. Only good thing I checked and found out that they weren’t do so at the one within walking distance. Because the next snowstorm came roaring through just as I would have had to leave, and I would have been stuck out on foot in whiteout conditions – and no masks.
I stayed inside instead, enjoying watching the snow fall. I read, mostly a biography of Ottoline Morrell. I’d read about her via diaries and letters of Bloomsbury folks, and I was annoyed then by the way they accepted her generosity and then trash-talked her. Reading her biography (the one by Miranda Seymour) made me even more annoyed. But then, talented as they were, hypocrisy and gossip were the standards of that group.
Allowed myself the day to rest and read and enjoy the snow. Other than changing the beds, I didn’t do much in the way of housework, although I did a bit of unpacking and rearranging. I am going to have to set aside a few half-days in the not-too-distant future to rearrange the filing. And I need more bookcases.
Did an online yoga/meditation session with a group I joined that’s for professional women who chose not to have children. It’s a solid group of people, and the session was good.
Did some research and pre-planning for a research trip I want to take in the spring of 2023. Figured out about how much money I need for it, how much time, breaking down the travel so it won’t be overwhelming. I’m hoping to build in a couple of days to see friends on the way, if it works for all our schedules. Both money and the curve of the virus will be key factors. I figured out how much I have to put aside every month between now and then to afford the trip and have a bit of a cushion. I want to make sure I enjoy the actual travel, not just push through to get to various destinations, and then am so worn out I can’t enjoy them. I’m not 20 anymore, and I can’t travel as though I was, just because that would be cheaper.
I also might be able to get a grant to fund at least part of the trip, so I will look into that and apply this year so the funds would be available next year, too.
It was a pleasant way to while away some time.
Did some collaborative work on the anthology. Grabbed a script to cover, and was also requested to cover another script, so that starts the week out well.
We got about six inches or so of snow, in a couple of bands. Not too bad, but the car’s all covered up again. I made a big pan of chicken enchiladas for dinner, with leftover chicken from the roast I did the other night.
Weird dreams again, Saturday into Sunday. One set of dreams was family-oriented, and not appropriate to discuss publicly, since the dreams aren’t just about me. In the other set, I was working at a conference, and trying to convince a speaker named Susan to let the sound tech wire her for her presentation (the mic pack freaked her out). Not sure what all that’s about.
Sunday was cold and sunny. Charlotte woke me around 6:30, tapping my face with her paw and head-butting me. Made scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and chives from our own plants.
Had a good, long, deep morning meditation session.
I updated the tracking sheets and Series Bible for The Big Project. That takes time, because the details are so important, but it’s necessary, especially if the project sprawls in the directions in which it’s possible (i.e., it’s a success, and goes beyond the first projected phase).
I unpacked two more boxes of books. These actually held books for current projects, and I was delighted that they made it up, and now I have them accessible on the shelves. Baby steps, right?
I did some brainstorming on the anthology, and sent an updated sheet of bullet points for the article on the theatre I created for that world.
I heard from the conference at which I’m teaching in August. They have decided to remain virtual this year. I’m perfectly happy with that. Even though they would have paid for hotel and most meals, I would have had travel expense, had to worry about clothes and makeup for four days (now I just have to look good for the Zoom session), and interacting/being “on” all the time for four days. Much as I would have liked to dip my toe back into the realm of in-person, virtual is a better choice for me personally this year, and for safety reasons for all of us. Plus, now I’m only teaching 2 hours (or maybe 4, if they want both courses) instead of 10. I’m perfectly happy about it, although I bet there will be grumblers. It also means more people from all over the country and world, who wouldn’t have been able to come in person, or would have worried about safety issues, can attend. I think it’s a positive all across the board.
I took most of the day, however, to rest and recharge. I needed it.
Yesterday was President’s Day and a holiday. Tessa got me up at 5:30. She has also decided she wants to hang out for morning yoga (which she always did at the other house), but Charlotte, who hangs out with me here, is not sure if there’s room for both of them. Believe me, there’s plenty of physical room. They just have to learn to give each other enough psychological room.
I worked on preliminary information for a large grant application for which I want to try. I need to figure out what I want to do with it.
It was sunny and mild out, and I took the opportunity to run errands: get the garbage out, pick up a few things at Cumberland Farms, Big Y, CVS, the liquor store, and check out some other stores I could get to on foot, in the hopes of finding cute little plant pots. No luck. The ones I found don’t drain, and that’s not an option.
Did some brainstorming on the anthology. Covered a script. It was sunny and mild enough to sit on the front porch in the afternoon and read there. The cats were as thrilled as the people.
I’m reading a book that’s supposedly a diary by the author, but is actually more of creative nonfiction. The headings have dates, but she admits they were written over the course of two years and change, not a single year. Because no one could travel back and forth across Europe and the country for month-long or semester-long residencies and be in different, far-flung locations so often. She uses something that happens in the day to trigger an essay built around it, and it’s well-written and engaging for the most part. But she’s one of those women who always has to have a man in her life and can’t be alone for five minutes. I have trouble respecting that kind of dependence. On top of that, most of the time, she’s a jerk to everyone around her, including the men. One would hope, in the process of writing the diary (or writing the essays that compromise the diary), that she would realize how badly she treats people around her, and try to be kinder. Learn from it. But she doesn’t. She just wallows in being a jerk. I mean, the diary is the best possible place to be a jerk, but hopefully, through the writing, you realize it and choose the path of non-jerkdom. Or at least attempt the path of being kinder. Not this woman.
I’m tempted to try reading some of her fiction, but I don’t like the “her” I’ve met on the page (which, since this is a journal for publication, is another created “her” rather than the actual person). I’m nearly finished with this book; but do I ever want to spend time with any of the “hers” again?
Highly doubtful. Although I’ve learned some good craft lessons for creative nonfiction by reading this book.
Woke up to a great article about a local entrepreneur I met last October. I’m thrilled for her! Looking forward to being able to support her business later this spring and into summer.
This morning, I have a Zoom session with fellow local entrepreneurs, which should be fun, and tonight, I’m signed up for a Zoom session via Titcomb’s Books (one of my favorite bookshops on Cape) for an author event with Nina de Gramont, the author of THE CHRISTIE AFFAIR. Two Zooms in one day! And a Zoom on Thursday for meditation! That fills my limit of not doing more than 3 Zoom sessions a week, whenever possible.
After the first Zoom, I need to head up to the library, to drop off and pick up books. Then it’s back to the page, and after that, another script coverage. It’s supposed to be mild for the next few days (although rain coming in tomorrow), but then another storm at the weekend.
One day, one step at a time, right? After all, I have books to unpack and projects to create!
I realized, this weekend, that some of my responses lately have less to do with what’s actually happening than sense memory back to difficult things that happened around the same time over the past two years.
My intent this week is to catch myself when that happens, acknowledge why it’s happening, and make better choices.
I can’t solve it all in a week, but at least I can start putting in the work.
image courtesy of Public Domain Pictures via pxabay.com
Friday, February 18, 2022
Waning Moon
Snowing
Yesterday was another somewhat scattered day. It was in the 50’s, mild, and raining all day. It was supposed to be mild today, then temperatures drop tonight with another storm coming in, but it was already snowing before 8 AM this morning.
Meditation was good. Charlotte sat in my lap the whole time.
Smoked salmon Benedict on brioche for breakfast, which was yummy.
Got the next section of The Big Project done, at just over 1600 words.
It was raining and windy, so I put off my errands.
Got some admin done, did some background research on some companies I want to pitch, participated in Freelance chat. Got an idea for a series of interlocked short stories, inspired by something I read in the book club book.
Spiro Squirrel knocked on the back window at lunchtime, as though he expected me to hand him my sandwich through the window, the little brat. It’s squirrel mating season, and they’ve decided the back balcony is their lovers’ lane, so there’s that going on.
The Chewy order arrived, with the treats and the new toys, including Robot Mouse. I want to give the cats some interactive toys to keep them busy. I figured Willa would like Robot Mouse, because she’s such a good mouser.
She does. She thinks Robot Mouse is excellent fun, and chases it, catches it, and plays with it. Since it’s a robot, she can’t tear it apart, the way she does with real mice.
Charlotte is curious, but cautious, and keeps a safe distance. Tessa Is Not Amused.
The afternoon was split between script coverage and collaborating on the anthology. I also got some reading snuck in for book club (I need to catch up online with everyone). I got some good ideas for my anthology story, based on our discussions. We’re doing detailed world building, amongst all of us, that I want to make sure that richness is part of the piece, not that the world is a backdrop. It needs to be integrated.
I rearranged a single shelf in my office. A baby step, but it makes me feel like I got something done.
Unpacking one of the boxes of books that wasn’t supposed to come up; it’s mixed books, rather than project books. However, some of them are relevant to new projects, so I’m sorting and shelving them, and it’s all working out.
Pasta with sausage and tomato for dinner. Yummy.
Knowledge Unicorns was fine. The kids are excited for the winter break next week, so no sessions. Not that any of them are going anywhere, but there won’t be classes; it’ll be books read for fun and games and videos and puzzles, and stuff like that.
Today, I was supposed to do errands, but if it’s snowing, I’ll limit them. Tomorrow’s supposed to be bad out, so I’ll just have to cope with whatever. If I can’t do errands this weekend, I can’t do errands, and they just have to be pushed back until next week.
I have to clear off some script coverage, and I’m done for the week with that. I am way below what I’d hoped to earn there this week, but I’ve been burned out, and I’d rather do less coverage, but give each script the time and attention it deserves, then rush through it and not give each one a fair shot.
Work on the Big Project today and all weekend, plus working on contest entries. I need to catch up with some admin, and do housework this weekend, too. I hope I get some rest in there.
Charlotte woke me at 1:30, but I managed to fall asleep again, and then overslept until nearly 7, so it was a rocky start this morning. But bagels will make everything better, so I’m off to eat my bagel for breakfast, and then return to the page. Peace, friends, and see you on the other side of the weekend. Have a good one.
Yesterday was a bit of an exhausting mishmash. I had the laundry done and back by 7:30 AM, which is great. My foot was hurting, but after breakfast, I headed off to the grocery store with the rolly cart and did the next bit of stocking up. Even though most of the sidewalks and streets are passable, by the time I got everything home, my foot was in bad shape.
I’d gotten a positive response from an LOI I sent out yesterday, asking for more info. I sent all that off, and immediately got another response, asking what my target compensation was. I threw a fairly high number at them. They didn’t even blink, just said great, they were reviewing my materials. So we’ll see where that goes, if anywhere.
Another potential client situation is not going to work out. Although I’m interested in the work itself, the pay is too low for the work and the amount of work within each pay period, AND it’s going through a third party system with whom I don’t work, who takes a cut of the pay. So an already low-paid, high volume gig would pay even less.
But it reminded me that I have a big old file on similar-type companies that pay more and don’t work through this particular third party, so I will pull that up and see who’s still around and who’s worth pitching,
Did a tiny bit of collaborative brainstorming. Had some actual, good conversations on social media. Got some book recommendations. Set up the files for the projects containing short projects, so as I work on them, I can just save them into the appropriate file instead of having them in their own little files and then having to hunt them down.
Worked on script coverage. I’m behind where I hoped I’d be this week, but still on deadline, so it’s all good. I just have to push harder next week, because this pay period was too far below what I need/want it to be, although all bills will be paid on time. I’m just socking away as much as possible for the car repair, since I have no idea how much it will cost.
I roasted a chicken last night, which was delicious, and then made stock from the bones. I wish we had the capacity for a compost pile, but we don’t. I’d like to have a zero waste kitchen, or as close to that as possible. But we do as much as we can.
Finishing up the book for book club. I have meditation this morning. I have two sets of errands to carry out over the next few days. If it rains today (as it’s threatening), I will just do what I need to do across the street at the college library today and leave the longer walking errands for tomorrow. Which is a good idea, because then I can let my foot rest. I definitely need to invest in a cushioned, sturdy pair of walking sneakers this spring. I’m not used to walking this much, and not on concrete. So, I need good walking shoes or cross trainers.
I want to work on The Big Project, get some pitches out, and then it’s more script coverage and contest entries.
Yesterday, I saw a post about this full moon being a time for “smelting in the cauldron of transformation” and I’m like, no, no. I’ve had enough chaos for the past going on three years. I want a nap. No smelting, thank you very much. Let me rest.
Of course, Charlotte got me up at 4:30 this morning, so that wasn’t happening.
Partly sunny, partly cloudy, starts cold and gets milder
Yesterday was one of those sucky days. Everything was ten times harder than it should have been.
I dealt with an unpleasant situation with a big client. It took most of the day, draining emotional and creative energy. I think we’re on better ground now, but I still want to expand my client pool. I sent out a few LOIs; already heard back from one, up in Bennington, who wants more information. So that’s promising, at least.
A submission call for short plays landed on my desk. I had two which would fit the bill (and did a quick revision on one of them, to tighten it). But I decided to send the funnier one, since they admitted they favor comedy.
A friend has recommended me for a type of gig I’ve always wanted to try. The pay’s kind of low, but it’s steady, and might do as a stop gap for a few months. I’m willing to have a conversation with the potential client about it, at the very least.
I made the trek to the library, returning 8 books and picking up 13. I was annoyed when the librarian whined about having to move the books from the shelf to the checkout desk. Hon, that’s your job. I’m carrying them over a half a mile there and back on foot, so don’t go whining when you have to move books, two or three at a time two feet. If it’s too difficult for you, maybe you should be out on sick leave, or maybe you should ask someone to carry them for you, or maybe you shouldn’t be in the job (because I saw the job description, and one of the requirements is being able to lift up to 25 pounds. And I worked in a library, where I was regularly expected to lift a lot more than that). But what is NOT okay is to whine at a patron because books arrived from different places at the same time, and those checkouts are what keeps the library funded.
Got an email from a company of which I’d never heard, congratulating me for registering, and that the monthly fee would be $55. Say what? I went to unsubscribe and they wanted my credit card information. No, tell me what credit card you think you’re going to pull this from. Talk about a scam. I warned my bank, sent the company’s customer service department an email demanding to be removed from their list and asking what card they thought they had on file. Since they didn’t even have my name, just my email address, and I never gave them any information, we should be okay. I received a cancellation message. But the bank and I will keep an eye on the account.
Filled out the Artist Census for the city, which is getting information from working artists on what they need to thrive here. Hopefully, that will open up new possibilities. Just from the Census alone I learned about a half a dozen or so opportunities that I am now following up.
I’ve somehow injured my foot, to the point where I can barely put weight on it, and I have no idea how, which is disturbing on multiple levels.
I have to finish reading ARTCURIOUS for book club. I love it. I’m going to have to buy myself a copy, because it’s a book I’ll keep using.
Knowledge Unicorns were fine. The kids were having a tough day, too, as were a lot of my colleagues all over the place. I guess it was just one of those days.
Since I cleaned up my Twitter account, I was able to have actual, interesting conversations with several people yesterday, and it was terrific. I also blocked a twat who called herself a writer and posted the faux engagement “what is your hobby besides writing?” Writing is not a hobby, you moron. Calling yourself a writer and asking such a question is insulting. It assumes no one makes their living writing. Just because the questioner isn’t good enough and won’t put in the work so to do doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of us who can and do make a living at it. I have full respect for part-time writers who work while carrying full-time work in other careers. I have full respect for writers who love writing as a hobby. I have no respect for people calling themselves “writers” who insult other professioanl writers because those “writers” can’t earn a living, and assume no one else can, either. Not worth engaging with such a person, so block and move on. And not just scrolling past, either, because it’s never just one dumbass “question” from someone like that. And I am just DONE with these jerks.
Got an idea for a couple of sets of short pieces – flash fiction, prose poems, short plays – tied to specific visuals. It’s one of those things that when I see something that sparks it, I’ll write it, and then collect the pieces on a theme to submit. . .somewhere. It’s a long-term, undeadlined project to let me stretch and experiment.
Up early this morning (after weird dreams set in a hotel, but a different hotel that’s shown up in previous dreams). Fed the cats, did some yoga and writing, was at the laundromat when they opened at 6 AM, had everything washed, dried, folded and home by 7:30.
I have to head to the grocery store again later today. MA is dropping the indoor masking recommendation, because they’re idiots. I’m going to keep masking until spring or summer.
I don’t have that much on my grocery list this time, so hopefully, it won’t be too difficult to get it all home.
I started the initial re-read for revisions on CAST IRON MURDER. It holds up better than I thought it would. Although there are plenty of details to smooth out, and writing to tighten.
I have a lot of script coverage to do today (didn’t get much done yesterday), and I want to work on the Big Project.
Friday, it was mild and bright. I got some work done early, and then packed up the rolly cart and headed to the grocery store. There were lots of empty shelves, again, mostly national brands. Also, because both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day fell this weekend, a lot of people were looking at it as a long holiday weekend and stocked up.
The sidewalks were messy, but mostly slush, not ice. However, with the snow banked on either side of them, and the middle melting, there as no place for the water to drain, so a lot of it was walking through ankle-high slush. When the next storm comes in, it will freeze over and be ice rinks again. Because the Cape was so sandy, the ground absorbed the water until it couldn’t (by about March), and then it got all squishy. Here, there’s no place for the water to drain, and the ground isn’t sandy, it’s loamy and hits capacity quickly, so the ice layers.
It was not easy to hump the cart full of groceries back, although it would have been impossible without the cart.
Got everything put away, rested up a bit, and then headed back out to the liquor store to re-stock. It was busy, because people were prepping for football and Valentine hopes.
Decided to give myself the afternoon off. It went up into the 50s. You can always tell we’re in New England, because the minute the temperature goes above 35, the guys go back to shorts and hiking boots. The front porch was sunny and pleasant. I cut back dead growth on some of the plants. I’ll detail that more in Gratitude and Growth on Thursday.
Charlotte was delighted to be back out on the porch.
Read for a bit. Over the weekend, I re-read the two books released so far in Kit Rocha’s The Mercenary Librarians series. Looking forward to the third. I rarely read dystopia (I mean, we’re living in it), so it’s unusual that I would like this series. But I do.
Some family conflicts exhausted the hell out of me Friday night, not to mention depressed me.
Saturday morning, it was raining, so I decided not to go to the library. Instead, I got the script coverages done. And then was requested for another coverage, so I didn’t have to worry about taking on a script whose logline didn’t particularly excite me, just to make my nut for the pay period. And I finished reading the book for review.
Went to bed very early Saturday, and slept 11 hours. Even the cats couldn’t get me up.
Sunday was a good writing day – 3K on one project, a little over 1600 words on The Big Project. I planted the first seeds. I baked a chocolate cake with chocolate chips and raspberry liqueur. Made pork chops for dinner in a mushroom-thyme gravy, with red cabbage and leftover mashed potatoes. Planted seeds.
I used to give a Super Bowl party most years; it was the only game of the year I watched, because football just isn’t my thing. But I stopped doing that when we moved to the Cape. Most of the time now, I don’t even watch the game, just try to catch the half-time show and some of the commercials. Or focus on the Puppy Bowl. This year, it was more fun just to watch different reactions to whatever on Twitter. I saw clips of the half-time show, and it looks like it went well. Still, for me, nothing has yet beaten the grace, style, and professionalism of Prince’s half-time show.
All the photos I saw from the game show 70K people in close quarters unmasked. So we’ll have mini-surges of the virus all over the country in the next two weeks. Why would I applaud such reckless, thoughtless behavior? Not doing it. Even if being vaccinated was a requirement for entry, we are not at a point where being that packed in together is rational.
I usually love the Winter Olympics, but didn’t watch them this year, either. I think they should have been canceled, due to the pandemic.
I’m not going to rant about either of those things on social media. Why bother? But I’m going to place my time where I feel it earns it, and neither of those two events did this go-round.
The cats woke me around 5, a reasonable hour, so I got up and started the day. Was at my desk by 7, which helped. It was snowing. Hopefully, this is the last storm of the winter. The cats are shedding like crazy and running around for no reason at all hours, so spring is coming.
Wrote another section on The Big Project. It will need some tweaking, but you can’t tweak what’s not on the page.
Tried to head for the library, but it was snowing and intensified, so after a couple of blocks, I turned back.
Slogged through a bunch of email. Got out an LOI to something that sounded kind of interesting, but we’ll see. Another job description landed in my inbox calling for an experience science writer and scriptwriter willing to both write and do research – at $8 an hour. Nope. So insulting on so many levels.
Downloaded the first set of digital contest entries, cross-checked the list. Caught up on entering scores for what I’ve been reading. Caught up with the Monthology posts, so I don’t fall behind. How other people are crafting their monsters, and the mapmaking that’s going in will affect how I develop my piece. Plus, it’s a wonderful community.
Started reading the script for which I was requested. I will finish it and turn in the coverage tomorrow.
The problem with a big client is not going to go away, unfortunately, so I have to look at alternatives. A possible other big client is on the horizon, but if the pay is too low, that’s not going to be possible, especially for the amount of work involved. I don’t want to take on something that will break me, physically or psychologically. At the same time, I need to expand the clients with which I’m working, and ease away from this big client, because the longer I work for them, the more red flags are popping up. They were a life saver around the move, in a very real sense, but in the long run, they are just not working out. I am very displeased by an email from them that landed in my box this morning.
Wrote up the book for review; got two more assigned. One I will download; the other is in print, and being sent.
Tried reading an eBook I’d bought a few weeks back, that looked interesting, but I’m frustrated with it. I’m getting a little tired of all these authors jumping on the magic bandwagon for the cash, not doing any research on how magic works, not being creative enough to design their own system, and just echoing right wing crap, pretending that their protagonist is, actually, magical.
Switched back to contest entries instead.
Spent longer than I planned cleaning up my Twitter account, on the “Following” side of the equation. Dumped about 400 accounts that I’ve followed at one point or another. A lot of them started as mutual follows, especially among other writers, who then unfollowed when I wasn’t an ATM for their books, or because my posts go beyond writing. Some were politically-oriented mutual followers, who don’t feel I’m political enough, and unfollowed. People get to follow or not follow whomever they please, for whatever reasons they please, so I cleaned up that side of the equation to suit what I want/need right now, and will work on the other side of the equation later on.
I’m feeling rather discouraged about everything right nw. But it’s sunny, and I have to head for the library today. I have 8 books to return and 13 to retrieve. All on foot. Sigh.
I’d rather just go back to bed.
Weird dreams last night, about being in an apartment on Central Park West in NYC, and a small, yappy, brown and white puppy escaped from its apartment and I was trying to catch it.
8 of Pentacles from the Mystic Monday Tarot by Grace Duong
The card above is from the Mystic Mondays Tarot by Grace Duong, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite decks. The above card is the image that first drew me to the deck, via a Twitter pal. The images are sharp and clear; they’re not as perfect in the picture as they are on the deck because the phone in my camera is less than stellar.
This week, I need to focus on doing the work. Not worrying about schedules and demands and other distractions.
Sit down and do the work, especially the writing. Let the work drive the week, and not wonder about how much is “enough” as long as I meet my obligations.
Meditation was excellent, and Charlotte sat on my lap for most of it.
I worked on The Big Project, getting the next section done and catching up on my tracking sheets, so I don’t get tangled up further down the line. It was a good chunk of work, although in the editing pass, I need to tweak the voice a bit, so it matches the rest of the piece. But I feel like I’m getting back on track with it.
Worked through the Scrivener tutorial. Only when I try to start one of my own projects, outside of the tutorial, what comes up on screen has little to do with what’s in the tutorial. So far, I don’t just hate Scrivener, I fucking hate it. And, if it won’t let me draft in Standard Manuscript Format (right now, it “compiles” the file in it once it’s done), we’re done. Drafting in standard manuscript format is non-neotiable for me. Not writing and then converting. DRAFTING. Much as I hate Word, I’ve managed to create templates for the way I need/like to work. I was promised I could do the same in Scrivener, I talked to them about it at length, but so far, it won’t let me create the templates as I need them. And yes, when I found out how much the novel templates SUCK, I started with a blank template, which gives me less flexibility, not more.
It promised I could have virtual index cards to do as I wished – yet, when I try to compile characters as index cards, it won’t let me do that, either. I thought maybe I could use it as a research depository, even if I chose not to write in it.
Nope.
On top of that, it doesn’t save as it promises in the tutorial. Any time I close out of a Scrivener file, it dumps it onto the OneDrive Recycling Bin—even when I save it to the hard drive. Then it has a zipped file named for the project on the hard drive – only when I try to open it, and the material I’ve saved INTO THE FUCKING FILE, it claims the file is empty, but then navigates to Scrivener online (NOT on the hard drive AS I WAS PROMISED IT WOULD BEFORE I BOUGHT THE FUCKER) to sort of put me somewhere in a file that was several saves ago.
So yeah, not happy.
Especially since I have the manual up, I follow the directions exactly, but what is in the manual doesn’t come up on the screen. I’ll keep trying for a few more days, and I’ll also try working on it earlier in the day, when I’m not tired.
But so far, the way it breaks everything down feels more like something out of Ira Progoff’s AT A JOURNAL WORKSHOP that fractures everything instead of letting it flow and being organic and holistic. Which I thoroughly hated, when I tried it, back when it was a Big Deal in the 90’s.
Read a problematical script for coverage, and have to figure out a way to give notes that are actually helpful. Hadn’t planned on covering another one, but one came up that was on one of my favorite premises, so I had to.
So I guess I’ll be doing script coverage well into the evening tonight.
Because I’m doing the next section on The Big Project first.
Tried to start reading two books yesterday. One was in present tense, so that’s going back without being read. I loathe novels written in present tense. I have yet to read one that I didn’t want to throw across the room by the end of the first page. The sensation is that of the author standing between me and the text screaming, “Look at ME! I’m such a great stylist!” instead of letting me experience the text directly. I especially loathe it when it’s historical fiction.
Sometimes it works in short stories, but in my opinion, not in novels. Therefore, I do not read novels written in present tense when I have the choice.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t write their novels as they believe best serves their vision. I’m saying I’m not the audience for those in present tense.
The other book had a fun premise, which is why I wanted to read it, but the writing was shallow, weak, and passive. So that’s going back.
I started reading Georgette Heyer’s BEHOLD, HERE’S POISON. I’d forgotten how good she is at wit and layers of meaning in her storytelling. Stylistically, it takes more time to establish the players and the story that is now considered the best way to launch a story (although not as long as many cozies take). But, ultimately, she’s a damn good storyteller.
Knowledge Unicorns was good. Again, we’re all relieved, with all these places dropping in-school masking requirements, that we’re keeping all the kids out of school, even though they’re vaccinated. Plus, they are learning much more, and material that will have much more value to the rest of their lives, especially now that the MAGAs have hijacked most of the schools to literally whitewash history.
I think enough ice has melted, in spite of yesterday’s on and off snow, for me to make a run to the grocery store on foot. There’s plenty we need. So, I will head out shortly for that.
I may need to do another run to the liquor store; can’t do it all at once, because I can’t carry it all, even with the rolly cart.
Then, it’s back to the page for The Big Project first, and then to script coverage. First, I have to rewrite a bio for the conference that needs to come in a little shorter to fit the space in the program.
Have a good weekend. I plan a busy one, although I hope to take it off from coverage, once I finish today’s two scripts. I have writing and housecleaning and unpacking and planting to do.
It snowed unexpectedly overnight, so I guess I’m not walking to the grocery store today! Well, that’s why I freelance and work remote, so there’s the capacity for flexibility. Good thing I ordered in extra Chinese food yesterday!
There’s a post about the first seeds that arrived and my plans for them over on Gratitude and Growth.
I cut myself a break yesterday. I got some blogging done in the morning. I stomped to the library – it was more like skating without the right equipment, because the sidewalks are so bad – to drop off/pick up books.
I made a detour to the college library, because a book I was going to pull through Commonwealth Catalogue is supposedly at the college library, and I figured I’d save us all some paperwork and having it move through the system by walking across the street. Only that book is missing from the library, and because I have a Community Card rather than a college card, they can’t get it for me. So I have to pull it through Commonwealth Catalogue anyway.
Tried to find the college bookstore and couldn’t, which was frustrating. I kept following the map directions and ending up in the Athletic Department. They are supposed to be in the same building, but I couldn’t find a hallway or doorway to elevator or anything to get me there.
In the afternoon, I read and wrote up a script, then gave myself the rest of the day off.
I noodled with some outline notes. I need to spend some serious time over the weekend on Scrivener. I’ve picked two projects to use as learning tools to figure out how to navigate my way around. Neither are on hard deadline, so I can relax and take my time with them. They are all projects For the Future.
Finished reading THE MALTESE MANUSCRIPT and read DEATH WITHOUT TENURE. I really like this series.
Started reading a book by a new-to-me author, and am not sure about it yet.
Charlotte didn’t sleep on the bed last night, and she and Tessa came to wake me up at 5:30, which is just perfect. Of course, reading academic mysteries, I dreamed about research in a library all night, and felt like I’d put in a full day by the time I woke up.
Since I’m not going grocery shopping today (can’t maneuver the cart over the snow and ice until they plow), I can use that time to write, after meditation.
The conference needs a new bio, and they are going to be the first people to get the news of The Big Project (which should be available by the time the conference starts).
I have a lot of email, admin work, and correspondence to do today and tomorrow, so I want to get a handle on that. I have one more script I have to cover today, and then I’ll grab one for tomorrow. I also need to read the book for review and get back to contest entries.
The situation with the car weighs heavily on me, but all I can do is the best I can do.
GWEN FINNEGAN MYSTERIES
Archaeologist Dr. Gwen Finnegan is on the hunt for her lover’s killer. Shy historical researcher Justin Yates jumps at the chance to join her on a real adventure through Europe as they try to unspool fact from fiction in a multi-generational obsession with a statue of the goddess Medusa.
Buy links here.
When plans for their next expedition fall through, Gwen and Justin accept teaching jobs at different local universities. Adjusting to their day-to-day relationship, they are embroiled in two different, disturbing, paranormal situations that have more than one unusual crossing point. Can they work together to find the answers? Or are new temptations too much to resist? For whom are they willing to put their lives on the line? Available on multiple digital channels here.NAUTICAL NAMASTE MYSTERIESSAVASANA AT SEA
Yoga instructor Sophie Batchelder jumps at the chance to teach on a cruise ship when she loses her job and her boyfriend dumps her. But when her boss is murdered, Sophie must figure out who the real killer is -- before he turns her into a corpse, too. A Not-Quite-Cozy Mystery.
Buy Links here.COVENTINA CIRCLE ROMANTIC SUSPENSEPLAYING THE ANGLES
Witchcraft, politics, and theatre collide as Morag D’Anneville and Secret Service agent Simon Keane fight to protect the Vice President of the United States -- or is it Morag who needs Simon’s protection more than the VP?
Buy links here.THE SPIRIT REPOSITORY
Bonnie Chencko knows books change lives. She’s attracted to Rufus Van Dijk, the mysterious man who owns the bookshop in his ancestors’ building. A building filled with family ghosts, who are mysteriously disappearing. It’s up to Bonnie and her burgeoning Craft powers to rescue the spirits before their souls are lost forever. Buy Links here. RELICS & REQUIEM
Amanda Breck’s complicated life gets more convoluted when she finds the body of Lena Morgan in Central Park, identical to Amanda’s dream. Detective Phineas Regan is one case away from retirement; the last thing he needs is a murder case tinged by the occult. The seeds of their attraction were planted months ago. But can they work together to stop a wily, vicious killer, or will the murderer destroy them both?
Buy link here.
Full Circle: An Ars Concordia Anthology. Edited by Colin Galbraith. My story is “Pauvre Bob”, set at Arlington Race Track in Illinois is included in this wonderful collection of short stories and poetry. You can download it free here.
Archaeologist Dr. Gwen Finnegan is on the hunt for her lover’s killer. Shy historical researcher Justin Yates jumps at the chance to join her on a real adventure through Europe as they try to unspool fact from fiction in a multi-generational obsession with a statue of the goddess Medusa.
Buy links 
When plans for their next expedition fall through, Gwen and Justin accept teaching jobs at different local universities. Adjusting to their day-to-day relationship, they are embroiled in two different, disturbing, paranormal situations that have more than one unusual crossing point. Can they work together to find the answers? Or are new temptations too much to resist? For whom are they willing to put their lives on the line? Available on multiple digital channels 
SAVASANA AT SEA
Yoga instructor Sophie Batchelder jumps at the chance to teach on a cruise ship when she loses her job and her boyfriend dumps her. But when her boss is murdered, Sophie must figure out who the real killer is -- before he turns her into a corpse, too. A Not-Quite-Cozy Mystery.
Buy Links 
PLAYING THE ANGLES
Witchcraft, politics, and theatre collide as Morag D’Anneville and Secret Service agent Simon Keane fight to protect the Vice President of the United States -- or is it Morag who needs Simon’s protection more than the VP?
Buy links 
THE SPIRIT REPOSITORY
Bonnie Chencko knows books change lives. She’s attracted to Rufus Van Dijk, the mysterious man who owns the bookshop in his ancestors’ building. A building filled with family ghosts, who are mysteriously disappearing. It’s up to Bonnie and her burgeoning Craft powers to rescue the spirits before their souls are lost forever. Buy Links 
RELICS & REQUIEM
Amanda Breck’s complicated life gets more convoluted when she finds the body of Lena Morgan in Central Park, identical to Amanda’s dream. Detective Phineas Regan is one case away from retirement; the last thing he needs is a murder case tinged by the occult. The seeds of their attraction were planted months ago. But can they work together to stop a wily, vicious killer, or will the murderer destroy them both?
Buy link 
Ink In My Coffee 