June 10, 2020: Die For Your Employer Day 23: Mourning and Smaller Irritations

Wednesday, June 10, 2020
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Jupiter Retrograde
Cloudy and cool

Weather reports say we’re in a heat wave here? Um, where? I’m still wearing sweaters.

I’d rather have it cool than hot, though. Not complaining! Promise!

Hop over to Ink-Dipped Advice, where I talk about how shopping local is sometimes the wrong choice.

Yesterday was just frustrating all around. Lousy first writing session. Geared up and went to Trader Joe’s. Barely a line, which was nice, and everyone masked and in the distancing groove. In and out in 40 minutes, a record since this all started.

They have to reconfigure the lines, because Christmas Tree Shops opens on Thursday, and needs the space in front of their store for their own lines.

Client work was fine. Got a good chunk of work done for a client. Got out some LOIs.

Got an email from one vendor swearing UPS would deliver the package last night. The package which was been marked “out for delivery” for three days, and never shown up. Of course, it didn’t, and the vendor refuses to do anything about it. Useless.

The other vendor sent me a cloying, condescending email about how it can take up to 18 days to receive the package. Um, 18 days? To go 11 miles? One of the reasons I ordered from that company and not one who sells a similar product is they said 3-8 days. 18 days is not acceptable. Won’t be doing business with them again. Awful company.

The procession honoring George Floyd was simple, moving, and poignant. It had the feel of al funeral procession (even though he was laid to rest in Houston, earlier in the day). I chose to be in the moment for it, to experience it instead of recording it, to be with the emotions. It was the right choice for me, to genuinely feel the impact, instead of watching it through a lens.

I guess a lot of others felt the same way, because there’s nothing on social media from the event itself (that I’ve found), just that it would happen. The part that disturbs me about it is there is NO coverage by any of the local papers or websites. I shouldn’t be surprised, in this bastion of right-wing propaganda and stupidity.

I didn’t go back with them to the starting point in Dennis. I peeled off once we were done at the College up the way, because it was only 3 miles from home. It made more sense than driving back to Dennis and then driving home.

With surgery scheduled for just over two weeks, I’m going to continue to be as much of a recluse as possible. I want to get it over and done with.

I hope to have a decent first writing session of the day this morning, then head onsite to work for a client for a few hours. Then back for Remote Chat, and other work this afternoon.

Tomorrow and Friday, I need to catch up on a lot that went astray Monday and Tuesday.

I wish I could get over this overwhelming exhaustion.

The virus numbers for the state keep fluctuating. They go down a bit, then make a jump, then go down a bit. But overall, they are climbing back up. Which, of course, is being ignored in the re-opening push.

One foot in front of the other, and just keep plodding along. That’s all I can do. I haven’t felt creative at all these past few days, and that throws everything else out of balance.



  1. Christmas Tree Shop. In early June. Wow.

    Some of that propaganda is now including calls to defund mainstream media and yes, one person I’m no longer friends with (because of this) said “Why can’t we go back to All Lives Matter and quit making this about race?”

    Because, honey, it IS about race. It’s about hundreds of years of injustice that just keeps happening to good people who deserve the same damn shot we white people get.

    There are some people so ingrained in their racism they simply don’t see it.

    • Exactly. I was thinking about earlier fantasies about what I thought I wanted my life to look like/be years and years ago, and realized that a good deal was rooted in privilege and colonialism. It was reflexive, the “way the world worked.” Well, it shouldn’t work that way, there’s no reason for it to work that way, except certain people are so afraid that treating everyone like a decent human being means less for them. It doesn’t have to.

      My dad was always horrified about racism, and told me “not to look at color” — which , in the 60’s and 70’s and 80’s and even into the 90’s was supposed to mean “treat everybody equally.” Only that’s not the way it works. We have to see color and celebrate the diversity and make sure people are treated equally.

      We have to learn that sometimes our well-intentioned slogans and ideas just don’t work, and then we grow into ones that are better.

      People around here are complaining that the local paper is allowing “liberal editorials.” There hasn’t been a liberal anything in the paper since I moved here.

      Christmas Tree Shops is a big deal here, and is open all year. So them being closed for three months has sent people into withdrawal! 😉 I don’t know if I’ll go back any time soon. Tourists flock to it, and since the tourists won’t follow safety protocols or wear masks, I’m avoiding tourist places.

      Two of the local garden centers aren’t following protocols, so I’m not shopping there. Meanwhile, another (again, family, local) is being very strict and even taking customers’ temperatures before letting them in. So I’ll drive down to that end of the Cape to shop there instead.

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