Fri. May 15, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 51 — Discouraged

Friday, May 15, 2020
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Jupiter Retrograde
Rainy and cold

Yesterday started well, but then quickly descended.

I’m working on a big project for a client. I’d started implementing, earlier this week, the big marketing plan I’d created for this client a few weeks ago. I’ve been doing all the normal hours I usually do per week (although spread out over five days instead of three focused partial days onsite), and, to her credit, getting paid for them (although if she wasn’t paying, I wouldn’t be working). Yet when I said I was taking the Friday before Memorial Day and Memorial Day itself as a long holiday weekend, I got pushback, basically that what I do isn’t work and it’s not like I have anything going on.

First of all, I’ve been doing HER work throughout. She’s paid, so that’s all as it should be. Second, implementing the marketing plan resulted in money for the company. Other than overdue invoices slowly coming in, it’s the only income generated during the shutdown.

But I’m not working? I have nothing going on? What was all of this then, getting results? Self-generated?

Not to mention that she’s not the only work I have, she’s never been the only work I have, I’ve worked flat out since this started, because I’m worried that all the work will dry up, with nearly a quarter of the population on unemployment.

The personal snipes she took were also annoying, but I can shrug them off. The professional ones are upsetting. And the constant digs that I’m paranoid and over-reacting by taking basic precautions and following guidelines so I don’t die or make my family sick are also getting old.

I’m exhausted and discouraged. I also look at the way the Cape plans to open for Memorial Day weekend, talking about precautions but there’s nothing they can or will enforce, and it’s going to get a lot of people killed.

The demand from restaurants that they “have to” open by Tuesday for dine-in is ridiculous. I’m not going out to eat any time soon. Even if the kitchen and the rest of the staff take every precaution possible, the other diners won’t, and too many people are acting like idiots. No. Just no.

Had a martini before 2 PM.

Sat out on the deck for a bit, reading some background material in preparation for an essay. UPS finally found the missing package and delivered it. It had things I couldn’t find locally, for cleaning and house projects, which is why I had to order in the first place, so, if it doesn’t rain all weekend, I can get going.

Charlotte regressed seriously, and we had behavioral issues. Lots of work ahead of us with her again.

I went to bed early, feeling down on all fronts. I did some restorative yoga, which helped.

Still feeling kind of blue today. But I had a good first writing session. I hope to have a decent work day.

I have to venture out to Trader Joe’s. I could wait until next week, but with the Cape determined to re-open before it’s safe, I’d rather stock up now and not have to go out next week or the following week, when the idiot tourists are going to run around contaminating everything.

I’d rather stand in line in the rain this morning.

How did I do on my intention this week? I was dedicated, especially to the work. I got slapped down for it by one client that’s profiting from it, which is discouraging. But hey, Saturn Retrograde, life lesson. Learn from it, build on it, move on.

Peace, friends, and have a good weekend. See you on the other side on Monday.

Published in: on May 15, 2020 at 5:29 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I hit TJ’s yesterday late in the afternoon -around 4- and there was almost no line. Not too much of what I wanted was out of stock too so all in all a good experience.
    I keep having to reboot the modem to restore the internet connection. A friend suggested that the system was overloaded by all the kids who are home instead at school.

    • If I reboot the modem, everything disconnects permanently. So I don’t dare. At least with the laptop, I can get my work done. I hate Comcast.


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