Wed. May 6, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 43: New Channels to Focus Grief and Rage

Wednesday, May 6, 2020
First Day of Full Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Sunny and cool

It’s going to rain again in a few hours, but for the moment, there is some sun, and I am going to enjoy it.

Have I mentioned that the peepers are singing? I love going to sleep listening to them. Brings back happy childhood memories of my grandmother’s sleeping porch over in Foxboro.

Yesterday, I had a good writing session, then did some client work. Got out a couple of LOIs. Research on a few places in which I was initially interested — the results lessened my interest.

Got outside and cleaned some of the branch debris away in preparation for mowing. The guy who handled it last year is willing to come back, and we can do it safely for both of us, so all good.

Vacuumed the house top to toe — the regular 90-minute vacuum, not the fussy longer one. Enough cat hair to build another cat. I never thought I would miss the yearly steam cleaning, but I do. Mopped the floors, cleaned the bathrooms. Typical weekly housecleaning. Somehow, it’s easier with the sun out.

Spent some time out on the deck, reading for what I think may evolve into an article. I need to let it percolate for a bit. I’m playing with some other article ideas, but they’re still in germination stages.

The potted lilac on the deck is starting to bloom, and there’s actually stuff happening for tomorrow’s garden journal entry, which is good.

Staples sent the first part of my order. A pair of flash drives in a box big enough to hold a year’s worth of files. Ridiculous. “Oh, it’s so it doesn’t get lost.” Be more careful and waste fewer resources.

Cooked the warm green bean and potato salad from the Belgian cookbook, and it was amazing. Can’t wait to try more recipes.

Someone on Twitter mentioned something that got me thinking. It’s bad enough that our government commits mass murder so billionaires can continue to line their pockets, and that they are spinning that 3000 deaths days A DAY come June is acceptable.

But this individual — and I’m sorry I didn’t note the name — pointed out that there’s no organized mourning. The WH flags aren’t flying at half-mast. No surprise there. The Gibbering Sociopath claps and laughs and dances with glee at the deaths he’s caused. It makes him feel powerful.

But there’s no collective mourning for the massive loss of life. That both causes more pain and distances us from the grief.

I decided that I will make a memorial quilt. I will create a block for each friend and family member who dies. I have a sinking sensation it will wind up being multiple quilts.

But it is something I can do and share and ritualize.

I’m also playing with some ideas for creating space for shared grief, but they are too fragile as idea shoots to share right now.

Writing and client work today. Preparing for a stressful day tomorrow.


Published in: on May 6, 2020 at 6:21 am  Comments Off on Wed. May 6, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 43: New Channels to Focus Grief and Rage  
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