Mon. Dec. 16, 2019: The Joy of Gentle Words #UpbeatAuthors

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Monday, December 16, 2019
Waning Moon
Uranus Retrograde

We should always take care with our words, but especially during this season. Plenty of people are dealing with stresses and pain. We want to lighten their burdens, not add to them.

At the same time, when someone is excited and happy about a tradition or something to do with the holiday, and it’s not our thing — we need to be kind enough NOT to tell them we don’t like what brings them joy.

If someone wants to say “Merry Christmas” — fine.

If someone prefers “Happy Holidays” or another greeting — fine.

If someone wants to skip the holidays this year for whatever reason — fine. But that doesn’t give them the right to last out at those who enjoy the holidays.

If someone loves the decorations and the shopping and all the rest, a lecture about the commercialization of Christmas is not helpful. Save that for a discussion at that barbecue in July.

I love stuff like Secret Santa or a Giving Tree. But, for me, it’s vitally important that it not be about me — I LIKE staying anonymous. I like participating without the receiver knowing it came from me, or posting about it on social media or in any other way congratulating myself. That defeats the purpose for me.

Others feel differently. That’s up to them.

I’m a big card writer. When someone says, “Oh, I don’t have TIME to write cards” — to me, that’s a slap in the face. It gives me information about that person, that I file away for future reference. Honestly? I don’t HAVE time for plenty of things — including writing cards or even these posts. I MAKE time for them. There are plenty of reasons for not writing cards: not liking to write, not wanting to use paper products, worry about the carbon footprint of mailing things, or whatever. Those are all valid reasons. There are plenty of more valid reasons that are none of my business. But when someone uses the myth of time as their reason, chooses those words as the reason, what they are really saying is “You are not worth the five minutes it takes to choose and write a card. You’re not important enough.”

Which is useful, because then I can move them to the appropriate slot in my life, and no longer make them one of MY priorities. They get to choose their priorities during the season. I get to choose mine. When a relationship gets out of balance, then I have to adjust, for my own well-being. I can do so without giving a speech about it.

The same way I often don’t argue on social media, when someone crosses one of my lines. I either unfollow or block. I don’t owe an explanation. I get to choose my interactions. I regularly block those who mock my profession, be it writing or theatre or film. We like what we like; we don’t what we don’t. But when someone derides the profession — they’re out. No argument. Just gone.

We all have things we like and don’t like. That’s part of the wonderful fabric of what makes us unique. But scolding people for making other choices? Scolding people because they enjoy something harmless that you don’t like? No, thanks. Is that what I’m doing here? Partially, making a single statement instead of getting into a dozen small arguments.

It’s hard NOT to lash out sometimes, when we feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated. But taking a breath and choosing not to engage in hurtful words or behavior goes a long way. Not just this season, but all the time.

So, remember to breathe. Remember to rest.

Remember to be gentle with your words this season.

Published in: on December 16, 2019 at 5:54 am  Comments (1)  
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One Comment

  1. All good points. Thank you, Devon.

    Merry Christmas!!


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