Mon. June 11, 2018: Don’t Dwell #UpbeatAuthors

Monday, June 11, 2018
Day before Dark Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde

This is an important topic. We know the need for positivity. That doesn’t mean ignoring the problems in the world, ignoring them, refusing to be a part of the solution.

It means finding new and better ways to solve them.

That’s difficult to do when our own negative loops run in our head.

I caught myself doing this the other day. Something slipped my mind; I had to turn around and drive back to fix it. The entire drive back from the moment I realized for hours later was the internal monologue berating myself for making a mistake. Calling myself stupid, a failure, ridiculous.

For something small that didn’t hurt anyone. It was simply a minor inconvenience.

The current political situation, where those in power reward those for being their worst selves and for attacking everyone who disagrees with them is part of the problem. But the rest of the problem is that part of us agrees that we deserve to be treated this way.

We don’t.

There’s a saying that no one has the power to make us feel bad unless we allow it. I disagree with that. Many like the sensation of power they get from causing pain.

The comment or treatment will still cause pain. It’s how we RESPOND to it that increases or diminishes their power over us.

One way is “don’t dwell.”

We are human. We get tired, we get careless. We make mistakes.

As long as we acknowledge them, take responsibility for them, take steps to fix them, and then take steps not to repeat them, we are fulfilling our piece of the contract we must have with each other as part of a so-called civilized society.

There’s a saying that goes “it’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.”

I disagree. Someone who boasts about living by this, in my opinion, is someone who believes they are so charming and talented and special that they can get away with disrespect. No.

I am more likely to give permission than forgive when I know someone has acted deliberately in bad faith.

But again, don’t dwell.

Recognize that person for what they are and move on.

Recognize that not everyone will stay in your life forever. And that is often a good thing.

Example: For years, I regretted the “one that got away.” A man I’d been deeply in love with. Our lives took us in different directions. We parted as friends and lost touch. But, in my mind, no one ever quite lived up to him. Every time a relationship ended, I wished I was back with him.

Well, a few months ago, we got back in touch.

And I realized NOT being together was the right choice. I could not be with someone who has made the choices he made. I still like and respect him; but I no longer have the fantasy of the road not taken – just the relief it wasn’t.

I no longer have to dwell.

Acknowledge your feelings, find the root cause, and take steps toward something more positive. Everything you experience, good and bad, contributes to the person you are. Don’t ignore it, but don’t dwell. Use it as a building block, a learning experience, and move on.

Build something better, stronger, more positive.

Even on the good things – don’t dwell. Enjoy, appreciate, and build something better.

And remember – as writers, EVERYTHING is material!

 

Published in: on June 11, 2018 at 10:51 am  Comments Off on Mon. June 11, 2018: Don’t Dwell #UpbeatAuthors  
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