Mon. June 4, 2018: Tips on Handling Hard Times #UpbeatAuthors

Monday, June 4, 2018
Waning Moon
Jupiter Retrograde
Saturn Retrograde
Pluto Retrograde

 

We all go through tough times, times that make us wonder if we can survive. Heck, the entire country is going through one of those times right now.

But our personal crises are often tougher because they’re, well, personal.

Here are some tips that have helped me:

–Take a breath; take a step back. How much has to be dealt with right now? How much time do you have to consider options?

–Look at your schedule. Which commitments can be moved or dropped WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE ELSE? What do you have to see through before you deal with the situation? Plan. Rearrange. Step up to whatever can’t be changed and finish it quickly, so you have the physical and emotional room to deal with the situation.

–Communicate. Even if you don’t want people up in your business, even if you can’t bear any advice, let people know you need to take some time. Don’t just drop off the face of the earth – unless, of course, for your own safety, you need to disappear (i.e., an abusive or dangerous situation).

–Ask for help. That’s the hardest. So often, when we hit a rough patch, we’re ashamed. We feel it’s our fault. Even if the situation is a result of our decisions, the great thing about life is that we grow and we change. We MADE a bad decision. We LEARN from the result. We make BETTER decisions moving forward.

–Build quiet time into your day, so you can think, deal, and heal. If writing helps you figure things out, write; if it’s music or yoga or art – do it. The process of creating will help create a solution WHILE making you feel better.

–Don’t hide from the pain. Acknowledge it. “Embrace it” goes a bit further than I’m comfortable with, but name it, own it, and work on it. The longer you hide, the longer it will hurt. Once you locate the source, you can find a way to heal it. But if you hide from it, you can’t find the source.

–Some things can’t be fixed the way you want them fixed. Know when to let go.

–Balance your needs with the needs of those who rely on you. If they offer a kind of help you can accept, let them help. This ties in to the above – don’t just ASK for help; ACCEPT help.

–Don’t make decisions in the heat of the moment unless it’s about immediate survival. Give yourself time to research, reflect, resolve.

–The online community is great, but sometimes, even well-meant comments can hit the raw nerve. Step back if you need to. State you’re taking some time, and then do it.

–Research your situation and possible solutions. Libraries have great resources. So do law libraries. When appropriate, contact your elected officials. They are in public service, and, despite the current situation, there are plenty of them, especially on a local level, who give a damn.

–Ask questions. LISTEN to the answers, even if they’re not what you want or expected. Don’t reflexively react. Take the time to really think.

The common thread through most of the above is to slow down. If it’s a dangerous situation, move quickly to get out of danger. But then, slow down and make the best informed choices you can.

And remember, tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity, to make a different suggestion.

Even when you feel alone, there’s a lot of love and support, often from the most unexpected places.

Be well. Be kind whenever possible. Take time.

Best wishes.

Published in: on June 4, 2018 at 2:44 am  Comments (1)  
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One Comment

  1. nice post.


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