Mon. Feb. 5, 2018: Helping Others #UpbeatAuthors

Monday, February 5, 2018
Waning Moon

Today’s topic for #UpbeatAuthors is Helping Others.

On the surface, it seems easy. See something that needs doing. Do it. They’re happy. You’re happy.

On the other hand, it’s not that easy.

I find it disturbing that we are urged to help others because it makes US feel better. Not everything is about us. I believe we should help others because everyone is in a position to need help sometimes, and those who can offer help should, because the cycle will turn and then they can receive it.

Some people, however, find it difficult to receive help. They like to give it, for the reason that it makes THEM feel good. It also keeps them in control. But they can’t receive it. Or they try to make decisions for other people, to put conditions on the help. In some cases, that type of tough love is necessary, to help break patterns. In other situations, again, it’s about control.

Some people never give help, because they disdain anyone who needs it. It’s that entitlement thing: “I WORKED for what I have; why should I help YOU?” And then they’re shocked when no one helps them when they need it.

Some people ONLY take and never give. They structure their lives to live in a constant state of crisis. Whenever someone gives them a helping hand, they take the hand and then want the arm, the shoulder, and all the rest. You get the idea. They refuse to break the patterns that create the need.

“Helping others” seems like it’s simple, but it’s complex. You want to give without strings attached, what you can without putting yourself in jeopardy, of a thing and in a way that is of genuine assistance to the receiver. That’s different in every situation. “Help” is something transient that shores up someone in difficulty, and helps them find the stability so they can proceed with independence.

Politicians too often portray those who in need (especially when they’re put there by political and corporate greed) as those who refuse to be independent, who want to remain dependent. But if we have economic and social structures that help people in crisis not only through the crisis but into INdependence, it would no longer be an issue.

And yet there are times when “help” is as simple as offering a smile or opening a door for someone carrying an armload of packages. You can brighten someone else’s day with a simple gesture. And down the line, someone will brighten yours.

Start with the small things, and let them reverberate into larger ones.

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Published in: on February 5, 2018 at 1:21 am  Leave a Comment  

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