Monday, July 29, 2013
Sunny and pleasant
Well, the weekend was an unnecessary shitstorm of challenges, and no, I am not apologizing for my language. It’s a case where the term is exactly the right shade of meaning, and it is especially frustrating because it was unnecessary.
Last week, I was approached to do something that would help bring positive attention to one of the organizations for which I work, and which I love. I agreed, but explained that my participation had one particular caveat, due to my other contractual, legal obligations. It was a detailed conversation, and I made it clear that the one caveat could NOT be breached in order for me to participate. Since the person I was dealing with was a fellow writer, a supposedly professional colleague in the field, I was confident that the individual understood what was at stake, and from her response, that she would respect it.
Friday, the result of the participation was revealed — with the caveat broken. So now, I’m in big trouble with several clients, and have lost work. I let the people who broke the caveat know that I was unhappy and why; the individual’s boss apologized and did what could be done to mitigate the situation (it can’t be fixed). Nothing from the individual who screwed me. Which strengthens my belief that it was deliberate. There is no way there was any “misunderstanding” and no way any professional in the field would “forget” something that important on which my participation hinged and which was emphasized at length. It was a deliberate attack by someone in the same field, who’d never even met me before. I am completely mystified as to the “why”, but there is no doubt as to the deliberateness of the action. To say I am stunned doesn’t even begin to describe it. Not to mention the rage and the fact that it has a negative impact on my ability to earn a living.
There WILL be consequences, believe me.
I do not just bend over and hand back the Vaseline.
But first, my lawyer and I had to salvage what we could. The true fallout may never be known. While the immediate situation will blow over in a few days, the ripple of the impact could take months or years to figure out, especially since some of these relationships now broken thanks to this event were long-term. At least part of the negative financial impact was quickly evident; the additional impacts will take longer.
Friday was about scrambling — and still keeping my commitments. Just as the shitstorm hit, I had to go over to the Writers Center to help two colleagues prepare materials for the upcoming conference. Since both of them are writers, they understood the seriousness of the situation and the different levels of impact, not to mention the stress and emotional upset. And then I stood up quickly and hit my head on the eaves and nearly knocked myself out. I don’t know, maybe unconsciousness would have improved my day.
I had to dash back because I had another scheduled appointment, for which I had to pull myself together. Hopefully I pulled that off; we’ll see. And we’ll see if this other situation has any impact on it.
I had to finish up two press releases and put changes in a third.
And then I just collapsed. I was in bed before 8 that night.
I wanted to stay in bed all day Saturday. Everyone else on the planet gets to indulge themselves when they feel like they “can’t” cope, so why don’t I get that type of day occasionally? Unfortunately, the cats had a different idea, I had to take care of some stuff in the yard, and it was the only time I had to work on a grant proposal. Unfortunately, I couldn’t download the application for said grant proposal, so to hell with it.
I did, however, get to read Kate Carlisle’s new release, A COOKBOOK CONSPIRACY, which was good. I like that series anyway, and it was a nice stress reliever. And, in the evening, I went down to Covell’s Beach and stood in the waves for awhile, letting the sea soothe me.
Sunday, I decided enough already with the wallowing, and I spent a good portion of the day doing what my friend Mike affectionately calls “what you do” in these situations. Let’s face it, the Universe will find a much more interesting way to get this all back in balance than I ever could. I feel much better, and ready to face a new week.
I finished and turned in my final paper for the climate literacy class. I have to do peer evaluations for this class and on one more paper for archaeology. Technically, both classes are done today. I will miss the archaeology class terribly. The professor’s opened new opportunities for me that I’m very excited about.
Today, The Modern and the Post Modern class begins. 14 weeks of literature and art. Should be interesting.
Still haven’t been paid by that other publication. That is a working relationship that will either cough up on time or come to an end.
Spun some stories yesterday, and have to take stock of deadlines and various pieces and do some reshuffling so I know what needs to be worked on when.
Today is the forty-first anniversary of my father’s death.