Thursday, June 10, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010
Waning Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Cloudy and cool

Can I just say I am over it all? I was on the phone with Cablevision this morning because the internet and the landline were down due to the landlords fucking around. Having to call tech support at 6 AM is not my idea of a good time. And yesterday, the blog vanished for part of the day — I am done.

Elsa made solid improvement yesterday — eating a lot, interacting, being very cheerful — and then backslid last night. So we were up and down most of the night, and I”m tired. I feel that the vet has written us off because I can’t afford the expensive treatment. Elsa ate well this morning and is now sleeping peacefully. If I can keep her eating well, I can start working on the other problems.

I finally managed to finish Chapter 13 of POWER OF WORDS the first chapter on Part III, and I’m content with it. Always room for improvement, but there’s a solid foundation. Violet now sits in my lap whenever I work on the computer. Elsa’s illness is hard on her, too, because she adores Elsa. Iris just ignores it all. But Violet is turning out to be quite the little editor.

I’ll probably have to nap in the afternoon. I’m supposed to go to a friend’s place for dinner tonight, and my mom will watch Elsa. I have to make a run to Costco today, and also get in more cat food and maybe get another remedy from the herbal pharmacy.

I truly appreciate all of your support. It makes me feel less alone going through all of this. Sometimes I do feel isolated and that my back’s against the wall here, but all of you help in that a lot.

Hopefully, I can get in some decent writing, too. If I don’t keep that up, I can’t pay the bills. I got a brief note from one of my editors — who I tracked down when he didn’t give me the new information once the company moved, and it makes me paranoid that he’s trying to tell me something — and he said he got the assignment and I’d hear more from him soon. Really, it’s too hard to send out an email to one’s staff saying the company was sold and you’re moving? Come on! I get it if you don’t know what’s going to happen to any of us yet, but at least tell us where you are. If they try to cut our pay again, I’ll quit.

At this point, I’m ready to tell about 70% of the world to go to hell and go live in a cave in Maine somewhere so I don’t have to deal with people anymore.


Published in: on June 10, 2010 at 5:47 am  Comments (5)  
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  1. {{{{Devon}}}}

  2. With the worry over Elsa, I don’t know how you get any words on the page. And I wish you could move. A different location would free your spirit. However, I know that is easier said than done. I’ve been to a non commercial cave before, I’m not sure you realize the trouble you would have with the internet there not to mention the dirt and bats if you chose to live in a cave in Maine. Of course, I only know MO caves. But the air would work!!

    Have a great day.

  3. Caves are overrated – you can’t get a good cell phone signal and the dampness just plays hell on the hair.

    Much love to you, hon. As our guru says, you are never alone or helpless – the force that guides the stars guides you, too.

    Maybe kicking some tech-support ass helps vent some of the anger and fear over Elsa’s health. If so, kick away. You’re a good mom to her. You’re doing all you can. I’m not sure the expensive vet bills would do her any more good.

  4. I know you’re under tremendous stress and yet you give everything your best. I am continuing to pray for you and Elsa. HUGS.

  5. You are doing your best for Elsa, and that’s all any of us can do. The fact that Violet loves her – but is not spending all her time at her side – may be a good sign. Cats can sense when their fellows are in trouble, and will usually refuse to leave the side of a dying companion. I hope and I pray I’m right on that.

    I will pray for you and for Elsa. I know that awful feeling when a cat is sick and you cannot make them well at once as you wish you could. Anyway, I can’t hear of any cat in distress without praying for them…

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