Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Waxing Moon
Pluto Retrograde
Jupiter Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Hazy and warmer

Felt restless, blue, and unfocused yesterday. There are so many things I should do, could do, and I’m having difficulty prioritizing them. Some days I just feel as though I’m flailing, and yesterday was one of those days.

I also think I’m taking on too many of the lower paying jobs – short, quick writing and quick paying gigs to keep the bills paid, where I really need to start going after higher-paying jobs. I’m getting more positive than negative responses to my pitches, so now it’s time to raise my own bar, instead of getting complacent and only going for gigs I’m pretty sure I can nail.

Worked on the Craigslist ads, but I want them to settle a day or two before I post them. Also, I think I should wait until next week to post, since most of this week is about the Empire State Games. Sent out a half a dozen pitches. Got some info out to a colleague that should have gone out on Saturday. Dithering about some other query stuff, and completely disgusted by the piles of un-filed papers on my desk. Regarding the dithering – the material needs some more tweaking, but I have to draw a line beyond which I don’t tweak anymore and just send the damned stuff out. I’ve started getting in my own way again, and I need to get out of it.

Spent a lot of time working on material for submission packages I’m putting together – had to check the list of submissees to make sure it was current. Revised the query letter, and I think it kicks ass; now I have to get the outline and synopsis up to par with it. And then I have to get them OUT.

Could I have an extra 76 hours in today, please?

It was pretty much the equivalent of a literary nervous breakdown, with the Doubt Demons attacking, and feeling that almost everything I’m working on right now sucks (except Tracking Medusa and yesterday’s revised query letter). Out of sheer numbers, some of what I’m doing is bound to suck, but it can be fixed. Also, I want to make sure I’m making decisions based on what’s best for the work, not for my own ego. However, I need to get out of my own way and just get over it and keep working.

Off to the show early today – there’s a party for my boss that I want to attend, so I’m going in early. Then, I’m on stand-by for the show tonight, in case someone doesn’t return in time.

So I lose yet another writing day. But at least I’m away from the construction chaos. To answer your question, Michael, the asbestos removal is supposed to take until mid-September, but I don’t know how much longer the construction will take beyond that. Hopefully, I’ll be in the actual moving process by then, instead of merely house-hunting.

I’m delighted to hear that Spain is considering banning bullfighting. I loathe it – it’s no sport, it’s paying to watch slaughter. I always hope the matador is gored. A matador was quoted as saying that no one loves the bull more than the matador – right. Maybe no one loves the killing more. By the way, if you’ve ever met matadors – I’ve yet to meet one that didn’t deserve at least a solid kick in the balls, just to knock some sense, not to mention humility, into him. The preening, arrogance, and delusions are revolting. I don’t find them sexy at all. If they knew what to do with their own swords, they wouldn’t need to kill bulls with metal ones.

On a happier note, a new publication wants an article which may turn into a column. Paid. Got to get to work on it.

Buying a place with more land than I originally envisioned looks better and better. Which also means finding someone I can trust that I can hire to look after it when I’m traveling.

I want to take a moment to note publicly how much I hated the premiere of Saving Grace last night. Right wing evangelical crap can wrap itself up and parade itself hypocritically as much as it likes as “edgy television” – but it’s still right wing evangelical crap. I will not be watching it again. Aidan Quinn’s short-lived series a season or so ago, The Book of Daniel, had much more to do with actual faith than this piece of ram-it-down-our-throats garbage.

Wrote Chapter 14 of Tracking Medusa last night. It worked pretty well, although some of the Scottish War Memorial stuff is still shaky, in spite of the research. I invented an earldom and stuck it in southwest Scotland where I need it – will have to apologize in the acknowledgements. The Calton Hill stuff is right, though, including the memories of the Beltane Fire Festival – I gave Gwen mine. And there’s a good scene at World’s End pub – remember that one, Col?

I’m getting to a good point in the story, and hate to leave it, even for a day. It’s a crucial action sequence – some of it pretty violent – coming up – that cements Gwen and Justin together while nearly tearing them apart, and is a catalyst for the middle section of the book. Somehow, I have a feeling that this one won’t suffer the “middle sag” that usually sends me into despair. But that doesn’t mean the actual writing will be easy.

A good morning’s work on Good Names put me in a better mood to face the day, but I still hate leaving Tracking Medusa. This is a complicated sequence coming up, and it pulls at me.

Devon

Good Names — 44,882 words out of est. 100,000

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
44 / 100
(44.0%)


Tracking Medusa
– 35,427 words out of est. 90,000

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
35 / 90
(38.9%)
Published in: on July 24, 2007 at 6:33 am  Comments (12)  

12 Comments

  1. The hill or the pub? 😉

    Tracking Medusa sounds great. Needing any beta-readers? 🙂

  2. Just teach me how to get as much done in one of my days as you manage to get done in yours (and then beg for 72 hours more). I stand in awe.

  3. That’s sad to hear Saving Grace sucked. I taped it last night to watch it later because I like Holly Hunter and thought it looked so good. I may give it a try anyway just to see.

    Hope you have a good day!

  4. Devon,

    The Doubt Demons are out in full force, aren’t they? I’ve decided to cut a person out of my writing life because he is actually encouraging the doubt and making me feel like I could never be a writer. I’m seriously considering cutting him out of my life completely. Who needs that, right?

    Anyway, I’m impressed at how you’re doing with your positive versus negative pitches, and I think you’re right, going after higher paying gigs is probably the right step for you now. You are so inspiring to me, and I’m sure to others who want to step out onto a similar path. I can’t tell you how much your encouragement has meant to me these past two (or has it been three?) years. If I could, I’d give you those extra 76 hours!

  5. Tell those doubt demons to go right back where they came from! You know the drill! But we’re all allowed to have “off” days, that’s for sure!

    Hope things are better today.

    And you couldn’t pay me to watch a bullfight. NEVER. I guess it took that matador getting gored for them to open their eyes and realize that maybe it’s not a good thing to do. But it’s so much a part of their country and traditions (like the Romans and their coliseum horrors) I doubt they’ll do away with it.

    One can hope!

  6. *hugs* on all the stuff going on in your life.

  7. You come across as a very strong woman, and one who is tired, right now. I hope that you get everything accomplished you need to in your life.
    I hope your day improves!

  8. I’m finding it hard to sleep at night because of the stuff going on in my novel. Ideas pull at me over and over until I have to say “enough! I need sleep!” 😉

    Still. Not a bad problem to have. 😉

  9. Ah Devon, I’m hoping that you’re having a fabulous day today. Those demons of doubt are nasty, nasty things, but in all honesty, I think they’re necessary. What would the glory be without some strife?

    Keep hanging in there and definitely shoot for more high paying work. Your time and expertise are worth it!

  10. It’s hard to try to say no to lower paying gigs when the money is right there, in the hopes of bigger money if it’s not such a sure thing. But I’m positive you’re already in the right track to move your game up.

  11. Devon,

    This post was jam-packed with emotion. I am with you all the way.

    I don’t like any wing being shoved down my throat (let me clarify that–left, or right!)

    And I despise all of that bull fighting, and I loved your wording with all of that. I adore your passion! It sings on the page!

    May you find the confidence you need to balance your writing.

    truly,

    Sylvia C.

  12. When I finally got around to only accepting the higher paid jobs it did me the world of good, although I still kept some low paid jobs plus the odd freebie to make me feel good.

    Hope your flooding keeps at bay. You wouldn’t have known about ours until just this week then? That’s crazy.


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