February 3, 2007

Saturday, February 3, 2007
Last Day of Full Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and COLD

Most of yesterday was spent going through my desk, item by item, to clear it off. As you may remember (not worth bothering), I had four stacks on the desk, and had gotten through two.

Yesterday, it took me the bulk of the day to get through HALF of the third stack. Very depressing.

But I managed to get out another submission and two more pitches, so not all was lost. Although one of the pitches bounced back because the mailbox was full, and I have to try to resend it.

And I cleared about 1200 legitimate emails out of the various accounts, and even more spam.

Remembered Saturn Retrograde in time to keep from repeating a mistake, while trying to be helpful. An acquaintance is in an unfulfilling relationship and is asking for “opinions.” What she’s really asking for is reassurance that staying in a relationship that borders on abusive is the right thing to do. I don’t think it is, but telling her so only gets her back up, not to mention the fact that most of her circle are also in negative/borderline abusive relationships because none of them want to go out there and earn their own livings. They’d rather be told they’re fat and ugly and get cheated on and still have an AmEx card without a limit so they can spend money they haven’t earned than go out and do it on their own. When questioned as to why they stay in the relationships and the answer is “Who would pay for my spa treatments?” “What would I do if I couldn’t shop at Bergdorf’s whenever I wanted?” — sorry, nothing I can say is going to help.

All I’m doing by stating my opinion is inviting more aggravation for myself. We’ve had this conversation numerous times; she knows my opinion. I’m not going to suddenly tell her everything she’s doing is good and okay when I don’t think it is. It’s fine to choose not to take someone’s advice; but then don’t keep coming back and asking the same questions.

Formerly, I would have continued trying to help someone who doesn’t want help, but wants enabling. Now, I just said, “You know my position on it. I’m not having this conversation again. It’s your life, and, ultimately, your choice.”

And that’s that. Much less stress for me, and she has to take responsibility for her own damn life.

The Situation: The Sequel is getting worse again here. Of course it is, because I’m going to be unable to do anything about it for the next couple of weeks. So someone else will have to step up.

Picked the books I’m going to take to the city: a biography of Martha Gellhorn, The Tin Box by Holly Kennedy, Dark Side of the Moon by Sherilyn Kenyon (it looks really good and I’ve never read anything of hers before), Dinner at Deviant’s Palace by Tim Powers, and Natural Enemy by Jane Langton.

I received the final version of the Plum essay and need to do a final proofing this weekend.

Yesterday, I raved on Wordish Wanderings from the editor’s side of the table about unprofessional writers who can’t be bothered with guidelines. Now, I’m going to vent for myself and other professional writers towards editors who change their minds midstream.

A story of mine was rejected yesterday, because “you sent us story type X. We’re looking for story type Y. I don’t know why everyone is sending us story type X.”

You want to know why? Because a call for submissions went out on several of the job lists stating you wanted story type X AND when I double-checked the guidelines on your website, that’s what they said. If you want story type Y, don’t ask for story type X. If you’re getting too many story type Xes and you want more Y’s, then SAY so on the guidelines. Don’t punish the writers because you got the type of story for which you asked in the Call for Submissions you sent out.

Finding the right placement for one’s work truly is like dating, and one has to kiss a lot of frogs first.

Got some work done on Changeling this morning, but not enough to update the word count.

I’m on my way into the city now to drop off some of my stuff at Artie’s, feed the cats, and then head down to Aphrodesia to stock up on some necessary herbs.

Then, it’s back to the desk and back to the page. I want to polish the Barbaro article before it goes off and get some other stuff done, before working my way farther down the stacks on the desk.



  1. I’ve read “Fantasy Lover” by Sherilyn Kenyon, but that’s the only book (I’m so ashamed – she’s on my TBR pile). Her story of success is truly inspirational. I hope you enjoy her work. 🙂

  2. Devon,

    I love this comment:

    “Finding the right placement for one’s work truly is like dating, and one has to kiss a lot of frogs first.”

    It’s so funny, but so true!

    But, it is better to kiss the different frogs than to kiss anyone’s butt.


    Sylvia C.

  3. Wow. Sounds as though you are aggravated by things that deserve it, today. Sherrilyn Kenyons books are addictive, but they are also very dark, so I suggest not trying to read them all at once.
    Good luck with your errands today and on getting your desk straightened out.

  4. Looks like I’ll just have to plow into Sherilyn Kenyon! woohoo! a new author to read! (reading this blog is like mining for gold).

  5. Well, at least they have money to spend.

    I’ve been through that with a girl who kept coming over when her boyfriend was mean, but every time I told her she should leave him, she whined ‘but I’d be alone then, buhuuuu.’ In the end I told her to get to the Woman’s Shelter.

    And he was such a skinny thing, I could have kicked him out of the flat she paid for with one hand tied behind my back. Even did once, but she let him back in. Duh.


    How do you keep from going blind?

    Have a good weekend! 🙂

  7. heyya Dev – the Kenyon books are beyond awesome but i recommend reading them in order so you can better understand the relationship dynamics and get some of the insider jokes that would pass you by otherwise. I started reading the series at about book 4 and ended up immediately going back and buying ’em all and reading in order written. The Dark Hunter site is actually pretty entertaining and gives you a taste of that whole world(s).

    I can feel for you on the aquaintance situation. I lost my best friend/college roommate about 2 years ago due to something similar. She divorced her drug addict husband (finally) had me come to Atlanta to help move all his stuff to storage, borrowed (was gifted) with money to help cover her bills, etc. More than happy to do anything i could after seeing her suffer for bloody YEARS. I was so proud of her. And still didn’t mind for months afterwards sending her money to help out. Until about 6 months later i found out that a bill i was paying over the phone (by credit card because funds were damn tight for me at that particular time)was actually the final payment for her ex-husbands drug rehab hospital bill. I discovered a few weeks afer he was released she took him back. I couldn’t believe it. This was a guy who slit his own throat in her bathroom (enough to create drama – not enough to damage him) and stole and sold her things for drug funds. So i finally stopped enabling and said i couldn’t give her any more money. She called a few more times, each time asking for funds and i refused (and cried on my husband’s shoulder afterwards.) It’s been one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. She stopped calling a year ago. I tried to track her down about a month ago to see if she was doing okay but she’s disappeared. So now i feel guilty even though i know in my heart i did the right thing.
    Okay – all boohooy now. Later – rhi

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