January 30, 2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Waxing Moon
Saturn Retrograde
Sunny and cold

Felt vaguely uneasy for most of the day, and couldn’t put my finger on it. Some of it, I’m sure, comes from the fact that this building is in the sale process, and we wonder how the new owners will try to drive everyone out; part of it, stemming from the former, is that my relocation is being taken off my schedule and is now on someone else’s schedule; part of it is trying to get my head around the full show weeks I’ll be doing over the next month or so, and trying to reconcile it with the transition, the relocation, and keep all the writing balls afloat. And who knows what else contributes to it?

I had a terrible time getting things done, and, most importantly, focusing. Again, I think part of it was switching around the routine – not getting some creative work done before I started the practical. It left me out of sorts. I’m getting in my own way again, and I don’t like it.

Starting my day with: feed the cats, yoga, write, and THEN officially start the day is a natural rhythm for me, and when that is disrupted, dis-ease sets in. I never thought of myself as a creature of habit – you really can’t be when you freelance, and I’ve freelanced my whole darned life – but this particular configuration works for me.

So, I have to figure out how to protect it and nurture it amongst all the change and chaos around me.

I finished Seeing Red by Jill Shalvis, and enjoyed it. I liked the dynamic between Summer and Joe. I also thought the way the family tried to protect itself and heal itself simultaneously was interesting. And, of course, I loved the puppy, Ashes.

I’m a member of the Sierra Club, now, since I signed that petition against the opening the Sequoia Forests to logging. They have some interesting local events; I hope I can attend one or two of them.

Catching up with blogs yesterday, it was interesting to read, in Ann’s blog, why she likes the show Grey’s Anatomy so much – the very same reasons I stopped watching it are the reasons she continues to watch it! Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s well-written and well-acted. However, the lives have gotten so messy that I find it wearying. I get to deal with people with lives in that much turmoil on a regular basis, and I am well-paid to do so. I don’t want or need to come home and watch it on television. I hope it runs a long time and they’re all happy, but I’d rather watch something very different in my sparse spare time. Maybe, once things are a little calmer in the lives around me, I’ll go back and enjoy it.

Got another pitch out today; should have gotten more out, but, oh, well. I’m starting to send them out from the Fearless Ink address, since that’s the business writing site, instead of the primary address I can only access from home.

Too tired to think straight. The pitch wasn’t my best, but I knew I had to move fast.

I’m working my way through the piles on my desk. I had three large piles, and a stack in the printer tray. I managed to get through one entire stack and the printer tray – dealing with every single item, not just rearranging stuff.

Another migraine threatened, probably due to exhaustion and frustration. And that, of course, leads to feeling discouraged at not getting enough done, and it all spirals downward from there. And fretful and jumpy as a cat in an electrical storm.

I remembered reading in one of the health magazines – Yoga Journal or Health or Natural Health or one of those – how important a warm lunch is and how that helps keep the body in balance. So I had vegetable soup with bread and butter. It did help, a bit.

And, I decided to cut myself a break on the short stories I’ve fretted about readying for the end of the month. “Illuminated Nude” and “The Man on the Yoga Mat” are more interesting and more complex than I expected, and need more time to unfold. Why rush them and send off something that’s not well written? That won’t achieve a goal of publication. Since it wasn’t contracted, the only deadline I’m breaking is my own, getting them done in time for a submission deadline; but it’s not contracted, so I’m not putting anyone else out. I’d rather stick to the integrity of the story than wreck the piece just to get it out by a certain date.

Worked on a newsletter that needs to get out this week. The other newsletter, for Biblio Paradise, will go out about mid-February, when I’m back from the little stint in the city. It’s almost done, too; just needs a few tweaks, and I have to go over the mailing list.

Also, I have a stopgap version of the Devon Ellington site up:
It’s not as cool as Colin’s design, but it’ll work until I learn everything I have to about the other one to get it up. My friend, Barbara Rosenthal, is going to park her work on one of my pages until she gets her own site. And, in a few months, I intend to have some interesting items in the “Bazaar” section.

If you want a treat, click on to the article I have on the site about “How to Bet a Horse”.
And yes, that’s yet another of my photos in the header; this one was taken at Rye Beach.

I cried when I heard about Barbaro’s death. That was a special horse. He meant a great deal to many, many people, but those who dealt with him every day and grew to love him must be hit especially hard. It’s the dark side, the unfortunate side of horse racing – these creatures are being bred for speed rather than endurance, or a good balance, and they’re getting more and more fragile. This is a sport where living creatures die or are permanently disabled on a regular basis.

Got a few pages done on Changeling this morning. I think I’m getting it back on track.

Off to the theatre. Hopefully, it will be a smooth day, and I can get everything else cleared off my desk by the end of the week.

Chasing the Changeling – 19,842 words out of est. 45,000

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
19 / 45


  1. I was sad about Barbaro too. As someone else put it, you know he’s happy and whole, now, eating sugar cubes and carrots to his heart’s content in that sunny field in the sky! 🙂

    Okay, how do you find time to READ amidst all the running around and writing you do? I get it. You’re one of those people who can hold a book and read it while typing with one eyeball on the keyboard, right? That HAS to be it…

  2. Having been introduced to Barbaro through your blog, I too was sorry to find out he hadn’t recovered. I’ve never paid much attention to horse racing, but I’m getting interested from reading about your adventures and experiences with it. There’s a racetrack in a town about 45 minutes from where I live. You’re inspiring me to go visit one day! d:)

  3. Hey purli, great site! Can’t believe how busy you are, you’re my new idol 😉

  4. I hate those uneasy, unsettled feelings. *hugs*

    I, too, was very sad when I heard about Barbaro. Then while watching the report on the news last night, I just started sobbing. I like to think he’s now hanging out with all the greats who went before him and having a grand time, especially flirting with all those fillies & mares. 🙂

  5. I had vegetable soup for lunch, too. Although it wasn’t homemade, it worked. 🙂

  6. I like your new website and the colors bring about calmness. I hope you’re able to get some breathing time to take time for yourself.

  7. /Barbaro reminded me of TimTam back in the 50s who had the triple crown sewn up until his leg broke – and he came in 3rd in the Belmont. 3rd! on a broken leg! and then they put him down too. Barbaro brought it all back like it was just yesterday: these brave, beautiful animals.

  8. I have to say I’m worried about you. You have so much stress on you right now. Please don’t forget to take time for yourself among all the other things I know you must do.

  9. I was sad about Barbaro, too. My best friend is BIG into horse racing, so I’ve been keeping up with his condition these last 8 months. It was heartbreaking to hear he had lost the fight.

    And I guess freelancers need routine, too, eh? 😉

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