Fri. May 7, 2021: Peaceful Thoughts

image courtesy of Pexels via Pixabay.com

Not blogging today, because I’m working on a variety of moving parts. And preparing for my second vaccine dose tomorrow.

I wish you a lovely, peaceful, joyful weekend.

Published in: on May 7, 2021 at 6:47 am  Leave a Comment  

Thurs. May 6, 2021: Nurturing Myself, Rather Than Dying For My Employer

image courtesy of Nico Wall via pixabay.com

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Still Dark outside

Yesterday was so stressful that my skull was ready to explode before 10 AM. But we got through it.

Of course, being up since 2:30 in the morning, I was already exhausted by 8. I’d put in a full day, at least mentally and emotionally.

There’s a post up on Gratitude and Growth about how the septic guys evened out, raked, and resodded the back. It’s going to look beautiful. With photos!

And the lilacs will be far enough along this weekend, so I can cut some and enjoy them while I recover from my second vaccine dose.

The septic guys were back early in the morning, right on time, to finish up. Then, at the time I should have left for work, the plumber arrived. Turns out the upstairs toilet needs to be replaced, and a new valve needed to happen in the hot water heater in the basement. We’d shut Willa in my mom’s room and Tessa in my room, which left Charlotte to supervise, and she took her duties seriously. Fortunately, the plumber adored her. He’s another good guy.

Having skilled people who care about their work actually do the work makes a huge difference. They were great, so they didn’t add stress, it was just trying to juggle everything all at once, and keep on top of some appointments I was setting up for today AND get to the site for the client.

I’m riding out that situation for a few more weeks, but it will change. What I do does not have to be done in the office, and the client is trying to change the scope of duties to work I don’t do and don’t want to do. But I’m supposed to be grateful.

On top of that, the client has made decisions on my housing situation that are inappropriate and don’t work for us, but says that I “have no choice.” Um, yeah, I actually do have choices, and choices that don’t involve this client and aren’t the client’s business.

Swung by the grocery store on the way home to pick up a few things for the next few days.

The septic guys were just leaving. The back yard is going to be gorgeous once the grass grows back in.

Remote Chat was fun.

I got some responses from LOIs. Some were “no, thanks” which is fine. One wants me to do a one-way video interview, so that’s a no. Another wants me to write a “case study” for free in the next 48 hours. I’m sending my contract for samples and telling her I can book it next week, provided the deposit arrives in time. And those companies go on my Toxic Company Culture list.

I’m waiting for my first assignment from the new client – hoping I can start next week. Waiting to hear back from a couple of other potential clients from materials I sent them last week and this week. Depending on how a few more pieces play out, I may decide not to go forward with one of them, because there are some red flags that concern me.

I finished the book for review; will write up the review and get it out within the next hour, so I can get assigned the next one.

I’m very, very worried about my car. The last thing I can cope with right now is another major repair. Think good thoughts for me.

There’s stuff going on today and tomorrow that I can’t discuss publicly yet – it’s all good, don’t worry. I hate vague posts, but things are at a delicate stage, and if I talk to early, I’m afraid I’ll crush them. Plus, it might not work out. Then, I can pour out my disappointment and ask for sympathy!

But I won’t be around much today and tomorrow, and I get my second vaccine dose on Saturday, so it’ll be next week before we can thoroughly catch up.

Peace, friends, and hold a good thought for me.

Wed. May 5, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 347 — Things Are Shifting

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Cloudy and cold

There are several irons in the fire, all good. I will share information when I have it. I just don’t want to jinx anything by speaking about it too early!

Yesterday was busy; struggled with my article. It’s just not shaping up the way I’d like. Wasn’t able to get much done on the short story (which needs to be finished this weekend). Got some client work done, got some LOIs out.

Had a Zoom meeting with a potential new client. Actually, it’s a recruiter for a potential new client, so I doubt it will work out, but it was a pleasant enough conversation, and he asked for more samples, which I sent as soon as we were done. He says the client wants to move fast; I explained that I wouldn’t be able to book another meeting until early next week.

Meanwhile, I sorted out appointments for tomorrow – the ones I can’t yet discuss – going back and forth. Might set up another couple of appointments, if I can fit them in.

Working on the book for review. I want to get it finished and the review out tonight.

The script coverage I turned around on Monday was a hit, and the company offered me a long-term, freelance position. It’s under NDA, so I can’t talk about it in detail. The contract’s fine, the money seems decent. Until I actually do a few assignments, I won’t know for sure, but it seems like a steady, fun client. I’ll start either late this week or early next week, and I should have a better sense of them by the end of next week.

I’m having terrible tension headaches, but once things get sorted, I’ll be fine.

Knowledge Unicorns was fine. Everyone just wants to get the school year done, have the summer break, and see where we are in the fall. The kids who are returning to school in person (hopefully) in fall are optimistic that enough people will be vaccinated by then so they can. But there are several families who decided to home school instead.

At the end of the school year, we’ll have a big Zoom call with kids, parents, etc., and see where we are, and what the options are moving forward.

Watched more WILLIAM AND MARY, which is really a lovely show.

Woke up again at 2:30 AM, fretting. Hopefully, once the move is sorted out, I can start sleeping through the nights again. I have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll be moving during Mercury Retrograde. Amongst all the warnings of not making big purchases, not signing contracts, travel plans and electronics all screwing up, retrogrades are also about resolving unresolved issues. The move is an unresolved issue, so getting it done – even with the knowledge that there will be obstacles because of the retrograde – could be a relief.

Because it needs to happen when it needs to happen.

The septic guys worked through yesterday, in spite of the rain. My mom was fascinated, and to be honest, it was rather like a beautiful ballet. The amount of trust between the guy working in the pit and the guy manning the earth mover, a literal ton of machinery just inches from him, was amazing.

They finished the big leech pit taking up most of the meadow and started filling it in. There’s still more to do, but I bet they finish it today.

I did a curbside pickup at the library and had a good, socially-distant conversation catch-up with one of my librarian pals. She feels the same as I do – the lack of transition. We’re being pushed into reopening without any thought for how hard most of us have worked through the pandemic. This attitude that we’ve all been on vacation for the past year is insulting.

I had to book some things online this morning, pay some bills, and then I’ll head out to the client’s office. I know she’ll nag at me with her demands of where I should move and how we should give up the cats and throw away all our stuff. I’m hoping to just nod and smile and ignore her. We will make the best decisions for US, not for someone else’s convenience.

The lilacs are starting to bloom. I might be able to put a vase of them by my bed this weekend, as I recover from the second vaccine dose.

Onward, stressful soldiers!

Tues. May 4, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 346 — Digging

photo by Devon Ellington

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Rainy and cool

I’m in a rocky period, and that’s the way it’s going to be for this next stretch. I have to figure out how to navigate it without killing myself.

Friday was a mix of frustrations. I managed to get some client work done really, really early to hand it off to the person who needed it, getting in early rather than waiting until this week. And then THAT person went and took credit for the work I’d done both Thursday and Friday. So there’s some clarification that needs to happen next week.

Friday was a bit of a fractured workday, although I managed to do a curbside pickup at the library. I’m stressed with most of my cookbooks packed, so I ordered more cookbooks from the library as a soothing agent.

Got a stack of LOIs out. Prepped for a late afternoon meeting. It was a video call, so that meant choosing the wardrobe, doing the makeup, fixing the lighting, checking to make sure the background wasn’t full of boxes.

The meeting was fine, but the money is MUCH lower than it should be for something like this, and I am sure they will go with someone younger, cheaper, and with fewer boundaries. Because, you know, if I really CARED about the project, I would work for lousy money, even after all these years with all my experience and skill. I’m sick of that attitude. I’m also uncomfortable about the lack of support the company gave their employees during the pandemic. It was “poor me” rather than “how can we support each other.”

I was so discouraged by the end of the day. And a martini didn’t help, unfortunately.

I woke up on Saturday morning, filled to the brim with stress and rage.

I worked hard to let go of it – it was a gorgeous day outside. I did an early morning grocery run, got the laundry and the housework done, worked on the paperwork for the contest (I finished the third category), and then decided to give myself a day off. I’m completely cooked, and I am making myself ill. I read a book, I played with the cats, I sat outside on the deck and enjoyed myself.

It was Beltane, and I did a ritual. Let’s hope things are moving in the right direction.

The Kentucky Derby was in the evening. I was disgusted to see how many flouted the masking protocols and ignored social distancing. They should have all been removed.

King Fury was scratched, so he wasn’t part of my picks, poor baby. I didn’t actually bet this year, even online. With the move coming up, betting is an unnecessary expense, and, frankly, I didn’t put in enough work to make it worthwhile. Plus, it’s not the Derby where one makes money; it’s the undercard, and I certainly didn’t put in the work to bet on that.

I stuck with my choices of Midnight Bourbon as my first choice, then Essential Quality, Hot Rod Charlie, and Soup and Sandwich as my long shot. Had I bet, I would have put the first three across the board and Soup and Sandwich to Show.

The winner was Medina Spirit, who ran a beautiful, wire to wire race. Mandaloun came in second, very close, with Hot Rod Charlie third and Essential Quality fourth. Midnight Bourbon was sixth – I don’t know what was wrong with him today, he just didn’t show up. Soup and Sandwich has a good start, but faded to finish last, poor thing.

So I’m glad I didn’t bet! I would have only won a few bucks on Hot Rod Charlie.

I had good early morning writing sessions Saturday and Sunday. Sticking to writing first thing in the morning helps keep the rest of the day grounded. I’m going to work hard not to self-sabotage on that front.

Finished the decisions on the winners and the finalists for the contest on Saturday and sent them off. On Sunday, I received invoicing instructions, sent off the invoice first thing Monday and was paid immediately.

Sunday, I also read a book for review, sent off the review and the invoice from the last batch. Again, first thing Monday, I was paid. That’s how it should be!

Found some interesting listings for rentals on Sunday, and sent off a few emails. Heard back yesterday morning from the one I really, really liked, so I’m hoping we can set up a time for me to head up there to see it, although it’s a bit of a hike.

Got a little bit of packing done, but not enough. If we knew where we were going, it would be easier.

photo by Devon Ellington

Monday morning, we were up early to eat, do the dishes, clean the litter boxes, etc., before the septic people arrived. They were here on time, and very, very nice. And efficient.

I managed to get some LOIs out before I headed to the client’s. Unfortunately, the water needed to be turned off at the house while I was gone, and the landlord came in to do it. I was embarrassed that he came in among the moving chaos. I’ve got things spread out and boxes everywhere and it’s a mess.

My client figured out that I’m having a moving situation going on, and immediately started giving me advice – that serves her, not me. This is one reason I didn’t want to discuss it with her until I had more tangibles. It’s going to be a nightmare for the next few weeks until things get sorted out, with her trying to “fix” things so it suits her, and not what we need. I should have just lied, but I didn’t.

Got an interview request from another LOI. At first, I set it up for later this week, but then I moved it to this afternoon – another end of day interview, which I’m not thrilled about, but if we’re going to look at rentals toward the end of the week, before my vaccine on Saturday, I needed it to happen sooner rather than later.

Turned around a script coverage piece. If this company likes me, they might throw me some more work here and there. I loved the piece I read; if that’s an indication of the quality they get in, it will be a joyful job. But what I have to say might not be what they want to hear. Still, I had to give notes that I felt best fit the piece.

The backyard is quite in tumult. The septic guys will be back today, and maybe finish by Thursday. Che Guevara Chipmunk sat on the deck steps in the late afternoon, looking absolutely devasted (although his actual home, in the bushes, is fine). I felt awful for upsetting the chipmunk.

Absolutely shattered by the end of the day. Fish and chips were as fancy as I could manage.

We watched some more of WILLIAM AND MARY, which is so well-written. Martin Clunes and Julie Graham are wonderful, and the supporting cast is great, too.

The June issue of THE WRITER arrived on Saturday, with my article in it on “Food Sensuality in Fiction.” I scanned the pages (although I had computer issues – my curser and trackpad aren’t always working properly and letting me use the keyboard). But I got it scanned, and I sent the PDFs out to the authors who were included. They were all really pleased with the way the article came out, and I’m so grateful to them for their quotes.

I love writing pieces like this, and I hope I get to do more.

Decent, but not brilliant first writing sessions yesterday and today.  Today, I’ve got some remote client work, an article to finish, a short story to work on, and a book to turn around fast for review. My editor’s been so great since I started working for the publication; no one wanted to read/review this book, and it needs to be done quickly, so I said sure. It’s definitely got some challenges. But I want to be fair and give it a helpful, not a harmful review, while still being honest.

CAPE COD TIMES ran an article about how Cape Cod businesses can’t find enough workers for summer tourism season. Hmm, let’s see, people are refusing to work in dangerous conditions for crap wages? Good. Of course, the paper frames it as “lazy people making more on unemployment.” Hey, assholes, if they’re making more on unemployment, the job was crap anyway. They did point out that there aren’t enough of the visa workers who come in from other countries for the summer season. Again, these are people who work for subpar wages. They compete for housing with people who live here year-round. And the article barely touched on the fact that the lack of housing is a crisis. The ratio of actual pay to the cost of housing is completely out of whack. As usual, it was right-leaning whining, instead of actual journalism. Typical of this area.

It rained overnight, so the backyard is now a mud bath.

Should be interesting.

photo by Devon Ellington

Fri. April 30, 2021: It Keeps Piling On

photo by Devon Ellington

Friday, April 30, 2021

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Foggy and cool

Beltane Eve

Yesterday was a frustrating day, but it all worked out, somehow.

Dealing with a boundary issue with a client, which is frustrating.

At least I got out some LOIs and got some work done. The property manager missed the two potential phone appointments with no contact, and then sent me the rental application late last night, along with a time to drive a long way up and see the place that I already said wouldn’t work.  So, that place is out. Plus, my questions haven’t been answered on the lack of washer/dryer, the monthly fee for the garage, etc. I don’t think this is going to work. If we’re having this much difficulty communicating in getting basic information on the property, it’s a red flag to what it would be like if we actually moved in. It’s already near the top of my price range, and then with all these extras? I don’t see how it can work.

Heard back from a company to whom I’d sent an LOI months ago, and they want to talk today, so we have a video interview set up late this afternoon (my worst time of day, but so what). I have to bring up the rolling rack from the basement and drape fabric over it so act as a screen to hide all the packing going on in the office. It also means I’ll have to dress up and put on makeup.

Contacted another property, that’s also quite far away, but looks and sounds fantastic, and the price is good, too. It’s a little small, but workable, and in a place I hadn’t considered, but that would work.

Had a series of exchanges with a fairly local realtor, who contacted me after I told her that a property she represents showed up as a scam rental on craigslist. She’s been in touch a few times. I explained the situation, and she suggested some resources (all of which I’ve already contacted), but also admitted that there isn’t anything in the area to rent (that’s not a kazillion dollars and a short-term rental) and very little to buy. I mean, she was nice and all, but it didn’t get me any closer to solving the problem.

The stress continues to build.

photo by Devon Ellington

The septic company dropped off the digger yesterday afternoon. It’s a big old thing, stashed in the backyard, until they start up, first thing Monday morning.

Knowledge Unicorns was fine. We’re all ready for this school year to be over.

Worked on contest entries. I should be finished by today, and can send off my choices tomorrow.

I had a horrible, horrible cramp in the arch of my foot last night, like a Charley horse in the arch. I don’t want to experience that again any time soon.

I have a lot of work and a lot of packing to do today, along with a grocery run. At least I had a good first writing session, although I didn’t get enough work done on the article or the story yesterday. Hopefully, I can make up for that today.

And tomorrow, the Kentucky Derby! AND Beltane!

Catch you on the other side. Hopefully, next week will look up as far as house hunting.

Thurs. April 29, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 341 — The Danger Increases

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Foggy and cool

I have a short post on Gratitude and Growth.

Yesterday was all over the place.

I had a decent first writing session in the morning, although it wasn’t the full 1K. But it was still more words than I started with, so all good.

Got out a stack of LOIs.

Headed in to the client’s. The client demands I’m back in the office for the hours she pays for, starting next week. Even though we’re not all vaccinated, and we’re not supposed to be at full capacity for the office. I can’t afford to quit just yet, so I have to put myself into even more danger until I’m vaccinated.

Heard from the landlord. The septic replacement will be next week, but the water only needs to be shut off on Monday for about 4 hours. So we’ll coordinate that, before I head to the office, and I’ll be back by the time they need it turned back on.

They might have to take up part of the deck to do it, which means we won’t be able to sit out there after this weekend until we actually move. Which kind of breaks my heart.

But then, the last few months have been all about how much my heart can break, haven’t they?

Haven’t heard back from the property manager as to whether or not we have a phone appointment today, haven’t received any paperwork, haven’t gotten a confirmation as to whether we can go up to see the place on Saturday. I’m getting frustrated. The place is smaller than this, near the top of our budget, no washer/dryer (only hookups), and I’d have to pay extra for garage space, but she hasn’t told me how much.

Honestly, I don’t know if it’s worth it, but we don’t have a lot of options.

Had a terrific exchange back and forth throughout the day with a potential new client on what would be a really interesting job. He wanted to look at a wide variety of samples, which I sent. I hope what I do matches what he’s looking for, because it would be so interesting.

Heard back from another LOI – another demand for unpaid, project-specific work samples as part of the interview process. I’m sending them my test/sample contract this morning, and will either get another snarky response or never hear back.

I was completely wiped out last night, and went to bed early.

I have meditation this morning, then client work, then finish up an article, work on a short story, work on contest entries, pack, and continue to house hunt.

I had a good writing session first thing this morning, and realized that, while this book is a stand-alone, a couple of supporting characters deserve their own books (also stand-alones). I made some notes. That knowledge will allow me to strengthen certain things in this book, while not going out too far on tangents, because I know those characters will be able to tell their own stories.

Back to it, then.

Wed. April 28, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 340 — Unsustainable Stress Levels

image courtesy of kalhh via pixabay.com

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

Waning Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Rainy and cool

Today is a rough day. It is the second of the hoped-for moving dates I’d wanted when we were deep in this process. To say I feel like a complete failure on personal and professional levels because this isn’t our moving day is an understatement.

Yesterday was rough, too. The recruiter who’d claimed to want the morning appointment blew me off. No contact, no response when I followed up. Just skipped the appointment. Not a surprise, but any time I see that “staffing agency” listed, I know to avoid it.

The property manager who had the afternoon phone appointment didn’t call, either, although I did get an apology email in the evening, and we’re going to try to set up something for tomorrow. I’m hoping we can go up and take a look at it over the weekend.

I thought I’d found another, really cute house in Nashua for rent. At first it didn’t come up in any realtor searches, but digging a bit deeper, it did –yup, another scam. So I reported it.

In the afternoon, I heard back from one of the LOIs stating they wanted to “get to know me better” and sent me a link – to write an unpaid, 250-word piece.

I responded with a cordial email and the contract/rates for that.

I got an almost immediate snarky email back from the entitled white boy who runs the company, stating that they paid for test pieces further in the process, but a 250-word piece about something I knew about “shouldn’t take much time.”

Talk about a red flag right there. How would he know how much time something took? Short pieces need a great deal of care, to make sure that every word carries more than its weight.

I shot back, again, politely but firmly, that a good 250-word piece, even on a topic well within my wheelhouse, takes time, skill, and care, and deserves compensation. Our work styles are obviously incompatible.

Entitled white boy mansplaining his attempt to get free labor. No, thank you. So sick of it.

Because of the two meetings (which ended up not happening), I couldn’t deep dive into any project. It was a frustrating day.

I did get out a bunch of LOIs, including to a really cool project that would be long-term, steady, and in one of my favorite arenas.

I did some research into the KY Derby for Saturday.

Got some reading done. I’m close to the end of the third category of entries (although I still have a lot of paperwork to enter). I hope to have my decision by either Friday or Saturday. I’m reading a magical realism book that I waver between liking because it’s clever and getting frustrated with for jumping around too much.

Made Chicken Chow Mein for dinner – that’s turning into a major comfort food for me.

Knowledge Unicorns was fine. Everyone’s ready for the school year to be over.

The mask mandate is being lifted for being in outdoor spaces as of Friday. Which means the Covidiots will be even dumber inside.

We watched some DOC MARTIN, and I went to bed early.  Of course, that meant I work up a little after 2 AM, fretting, and couldn’t go back to sleep.

I made myself write this morning, at least a few pages. I was tempted to punish myself and not do it, but I needed to, and it helped. I still have two pieces that I need to finish this week.

Living at this level of stress and uncertainty is unsustainable. But I just don’t know what to do. I’m at the end of my rope.

Today, I have a stressful day onsite with a client, but at least there’s Remote Chat to which to look forward.

Keep a good thought for me, okay? Thanks.

Tues. April 27, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 339 — And the Retrogrades Begin

image courtesy of Kerbstone via pixabay.com

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Last Day of Full Moon

Pluto Retrograde

Partly cloudy and cool

The Retrogrades are starting, which worries me. I’d hoped to get the house hunting resolved before that happened, but no luck.

I had a good, solid writing weekend, which was necessary. I wrote an entire chapter on Sunday morning.

It took me all morning on Friday to complete the paperwork for the second category of the contest, but I did it and sent it off. I made good progress on the final category (I’d already completed about half the entries for this one, too). So I’m on track with that.

Saturday, I was up early, wrote, did laundry and housework. I’ve been craving fast food like crazy the past few weeks. I haven’t eaten beef for months, because it always made me sick. I haven’t ordered/eaten fast food in about two years. But I decided to go up to Burger King, which is about three miles from here, just off the Rt. 6 exit, and hit the drive through. I haven’t eaten from Burger King in at least 3-4 years, maybe longer. I ate at McDonald’s about two years ago, and was as sick as could be after.

But I risked it anyway. I had a Whopper, my mom had a bacon cheeseburger, we split an order of onion rings and an order of French fries, and had chocolate shakes.

I haven’t drunk cow’s milk in nearly a year, either, because it was making me sick.

Basically, I craved things that were bad for me, and I decided to take the risk.

Did the drive-through window – and realized that, in the 10 years we’ve lived here, it was the first time I’d done that. And yes, of course I wore my mask at the window, and the workers were all masked, too.

Got everything home, and we ate. And ate. It was good, hit the spot, filled the craving.

I didn’t feel as bad as I expected after, although I felt full and heavy. Everything was much saltier than when I cook, so I was thirsty as all get out, and drank a lot of tea and juice all afternoon.

Neither of us was hungry by dinner time, so we didn’t eat.

It was pretty nice outside, albeit a bit windy, so we took Willa and Charlotte out in their playpens. However, because that idiot a few streets over continues to run the woodchipper and chain saws all day every day from 7 AM to 9 PM, it was impossible to actually enjoy sitting outside. Or get much done inside, that required concentration. If you need to run a woodchipper that much, you’re either a serial killer or incompetent, and it shouldn’t be allowed.

I didn’t feel great at night, but at least I got some sleep. I felt okay Sunday morning, although it will probably be a few years before I do that again.

Baked biscuits for Sunday morning breakfast. It was rainy and raw.

I got some paperwork done, got out a few information requests on rentals, got out some LOIs. Got some writing done.

I felt pretty discouraged, all the way around.

Spent most of the day on contest entries.

Monday morning, I was up early and wrote, in spite of feeling resistance to it. Once I started, it was fine.

My mother had terrible nightmares. I realized she’d packed her dreamcatcher over the bed; I unpacked another one, hung it up, and she slept well last night.

I headed onsite to the client’s extra early, since the landlord said he and the septic people would be over to go over the plan for the replacement, which starts next week. I got everything done that needed to be done onsite in a jiffy, dropped things off at the post office, got back to the house – and they never showed up and never contacted me. Frustrating.

Got some more packing done, although I’m behind where I wanted to be at this point. I need to pack faster, purge more, and get stuff up on craigslist this week.

But I did the rest of the work I needed to do for the client remotely, so it worked out. I got out a stack of LOIs. I heard back from a couple of rentals – two very nice, one in particular is a house that might work, although it’s small. The other is bigger, but means moving back to NY State, just outside of Syracuse, to a town that has a rather high crime rate. The cost of the move itself might put it out of reach, although the space is terrific, with a garage and a deck. There was one rental, though, for a loft – they want copies of birth certificates for every member of the household. How is that even legal?

I complained to the AG’s office, and I’m having a conversation with my state senator about it. That is wrong. It also opens the door to identity theft. A landlord does not have the right to birth certificates.  That opens the door to all kinds of discrimination and identity theft.

A recruiter wanted to talk to me about an LOI I’d sent. But the “application” demanded dates of high school and college graduation, which is a workaround on the age discrimination laws, so I called him out on it and refused. I got a very nice apology from him, and that he’s taken up the issue with IT to fix it, and asked to have a conversation anyway, so I agreed to have a short one this morning.

Will probably talk to the property manager for the small house this afternoon.

Put together a LOI package for a potential local client who used to work in theatre, and was email introduced by a mutual friend. So we’ll see if that’s something we can work out. I’m always leery of local clients, because they never want to pay, but she’s a washashore and from professional theatre, and understands that work is paid.

Decent first writing session this morning, although it was hard to get started. Will do some client work, get out some more LOIs, have the talk with the recruiter. I expect it will be a waste of time. I haven’t spoken to a single recruiter in the past ten years that wasn’t a complete and utter waste of my time and energy. My experience is that they don’t actually give a damn about any potential employees. They just want names on their sheet to meet quotas. However, this guy responded and claimed he was dealing with a problem, so I feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

The retrogrades have me even more on edge than I already was. I’m ready to fall off the edge.

Deep breath. Keep going. Because there’s no other choice.

By the way, my first choice for the Kentucky Derby this weekend is Midnight Bourbon. I love him. I love his personality. I still have to do some more research on the rest of the field. I think all the horses are more relaxed and have progressed better without fans in the stands.

Mon. April 26, 2021: Intent for the Week — Searching for Hope

image courtesy of Kranich17 via pixabay.com

I’m feeling very discouraged right now, on multiple fronts, so the intent for the week is to search for (and find) hope.

Concentrate on each thing that needs doing and do it.

Search for hope that things will get better.

Published in: on April 26, 2021 at 7:44 am  Leave a Comment  

Fri. April 23: Die For Your Employer Day 335 — Frustrated

image courtesy of Erika Wittlieb via pixabay.com

Friday, April 23, 2021

Waxing Moon

Sunny and cool

Yesterday was a mixed day. Started optimistic and positive, and took a turn.

Meditation was good. I got some client work done, a couple of LOIs out, some research done.

I got disappointing news from a company with whom I wanted to work. They’re going with someone else. Someone younger, I’m sure, because I have an abundance of the skills they claim they want. Someone cheaper, too, I’m sure. But I really wanted this particular gig, especially after all the time spent in initial interactions, research, etc.

Screaming into the social media void would have been both inappropriate and wouldn’t have made me feel any better, so I didn’t. It is what it is, and I move on. At least they were professional enough to let me know. Far too many companies have defaulted to ghosting.

I am, however, making a tiered list of these companies – the highly toxic (those who demand unpaid labor as part of the interview process and/or things like a DISC test) and the merely hypocritical, who claim they want skills and experience, but want young, cheap, and obedient. Keeping track of this will save me a lot of time and aggravation.

I need to find some paperwork from the first move ten years ago, because I can use some of that in this one. Of course, it’s packed away – I have to dig out the box with the 2010 files and see if I can find it.

I burned my hand a few days ago, and badly bruised my foot yesterday. The stress is getting to me. I have to be more careful.

I did finish the second category of contest entries. I will make my choices, finish the paperwork, and send that off. That gives me just under two weeks to finish the third category (I’m a little over halfway done with it).

I had a decent first writing session this morning, although a little under 1K. But it was the end of a chapter and a good stopping point. That’s three chapters in longhand, so I’ll type those while I keep working.

I need to do a run to the library and CVS later this morning, more LOIs, more client work, more article work, once I finish the paperwork for this contest category.

Then, it will be packing and house hunting, which is what will take up a good bit of the weekend.

Have a good one, people, and I’ll catch you on the other side.

Thurs. April 22, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 334 — Earth Day is Ironic Here

photo courtesy of Bela Geletneky via pixabay.com

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Waxing Moon

Sunny and cool

Earth Day

Earth Day, but they’re still out there in the neighborhood, destroying nature at full blast.

Post about the garden up on Gratitude and Growth.

I forgot to mention, in yesterday’s post, that I’ve been invited to submit a short story to a women’s gothic horror anthology. I have until May 15. I started playing with the opening – it’s very twisted. Even though horror isn’t really my wheelhouse, I do love gothic, and I’m having fun with it. Channeling some frustrations and anger into it, and then will have to hone it. I want to keep it between 1-2.5K. I’ve got a lot of it percolating in my head, so, fingers crossed I can pull it off.

Yesterday was fine at the client’s. Thankfully, much less stressful than I anticipated. Came home, decontaminated, and participated in Remote Chat, which is always fun.

Didn’t get much packing done. Was worn out, but got some work on contest entries done. I only have 2 weeks to finish the rest of the categories. I want to get the next category done by the end of this week. It’s the biggest one, and it will give me plenty of time for the last one.

It’s colder and windy today, but supposed to get nicer again over the weekend.

More bubble wrap arrived yesterday. I have a lot of packing to do this weekend.

And, of course, house hunting.

Charlotte woke me up a little after 3:30, with her separation anxiety. I moved to the couch in the living room to settle her down and dozed off, but she forgot I was there and went back up to cry outside my bedroom door around the time I usually get up anyway.

I was late getting to the page, and didn’t have as good a first writing session as I’ve had the last week. But I showed up at the page and got words down, so I’ll count it as a win.

Keep on keeping on, right?

At least I have the virtual meditation group today. That should get me back to rights.

Wed. April 21, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 333 — Give Credit Where It’s Due

image courtesy of Jill Wellington via pixabay.com

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Waxing Moon

Partly cloudy and cooler

Got a lot done early in the day yesterday: LOIs, article work, house hunting. I need to fill out some paperwork on a couple of places.

A house I’d hoped would work out seems to be a scam; another one we really liked has so many applicants, the guy isn’t even responding to emails.

Did a grocery run to Trader Joe’s and bought more than I planned; picked up a few things at CVS. Still doing full decontamination protocols. Even once I’m fully vaccinated, we’re talking about keeping some of the protocols in place. Because too many people are gross.

The tree-clearing morons were out in force yesterday. Cutting down healthy trees all over the neighborhood. Noise pollution, dust pollution, destroying habitat. Welcome to Cape Cod, where those who move here for the beauty systematically destroy it.

My mom still felt poorly, but she was better than the previous day, so, hopefully, she’s on the mend. Charlotte and Willa took turns playing nurse.

Worked on contest entries. Packed some of the candle holders. I didn’t realize how many candle holders I have. I’m washing out a bunch of them and scraping old wax out of some, too. The stillroom is going to take longer to pack than I expected.

I had to order more bubble wrap (the 6th & 7th rolls, for those keeping track).

The Tamed Wild box arrived, and it’s gorgeous. There’s a stunning necklace included, a beautiful altar cloth, a carved bear. Just lovely.

Worked through another stack of magazines I came across and tossed a lot.

I need to photograph the old mower and contact the guy who buys them and refurbishes them. I want that and the broken weed whacker out of here.

It was nice enough in the afternoon to sit outside and read for a bit. I took Willa out in her playpen for a little while, but it was too windy, and she kept getting tossed ass over teakettle, so I brought her back in. Charlotte was upset that I took Willa out and not Charlotte. Tessa stayed out of the fray.

I burst into tears of relief at the Derek Chauvin “guilty” verdict. As someone who’s been a juror on murder trials, I know how seriously jurors take it, and how heavily the responsibility weighs to go over the evidence and serve justice.

I was angered by all the “thanking God” going on all over the internet. God had nothing to do with the guilty verdict. It was the jurors, who took their job seriously and fulfilled the oath they swore. If God gave a damn, George Floyd wouldn’t have been murdered in the first place. If God existed, the Sociopath would have never been in the White House. So cut the crap about God having anything to do with this verdict. It was people who took their oath seriously, which is more than most politicians do.

Today I have to go onsite for a few hours, overlapping with other work colleagues. Not looking forward to it.

But then, there’s Remote Chat, to which I AM looking forward.

The early morning writing sessions are going well. It gives me a solid, positive foundation for the rest of the day. I’m making progress in the work, and it’s giving me creative energy to fuel more work in the day. So I’m glad I’m getting back into the daily rhythm.

Now, if I could only land us a place to live. . .

Tues. April 20, 2021: Die For Your Employer Day 332 — One Foot in Front of the Other

image courtesy of Daniel Reche via pixabay.com

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Waxing Moon

Hazy and cool

Re-read THE GHOST IN THE BREAD MACHINE. I only have the prologue and a couple of chapters, but it has energy and wit, and I like it.

I have to figure it out, and write the outline, but I like it.

In the meantime, I wrote steadily on a piece with the working title SELF-SANCTUARY. I’m doing between 1200-1750 words a day, longhand, which is good, steady work. Every three chapters, I will type what I have.

The house hunting is stressful. A couple of good places don’t have any openings right now, so maybe I’ll get us on the waiting list, while we look elsewhere. A couple of cute houses, smaller than we are in now, came up, and we can even afford them, but the competition is fierce.

And, of course, there were at least a dozen more scams. Those are disheartening.

Did laundry, packed, house hunted, wrote, did housework. Not only are the people moving in destroying the environment/habitat/landscape they claimed to move here because of, it’s getting filthy.

We do the daily cleaning, of course, and then a weekly big clean with dusting and mopping and vacuuming. And then the spring cleaning/fall cleaning. But in between even the weekly big cleans, it gets really filthy. It didn’t use to. There’d be a little dust here and there, and, of course, the pine pollen in spring. But now, it’s a layer of grime, similar to what I dealt with in New York City EVERY WEEK. Because of the constant heavy machinery and leaf blowers. It’s disgusting.

At least I got some sleep. Slept through the night Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, although I had weird dreams.

A client sent me something on Saturday for quick turnaround. I replied that I would do it first thing Monday (which I did). Remote work does not mean I’m on call 24/7 for instant turnaround.

It was too cold to sit on the deck, which made me sad. We don’t have much longer to enjoy the deck.

My mom was sick Sunday into Monday. I worked fully remotely on Monday, so I could take care of her. Had her on the couch, propped with yoga blankets and bolsters and a hot water bottle, so she was comfortable. Charlotte and Willa took turns playing nurse.

I had a solid morning’s writing session, got out some LOIs, turned around client work, house hunted, took care of my mom.

In the mid-afternoon, I had a delightful chat with someone who’d liked an LOI I sent a few weeks back, and we discussed possibilities. Hopefully, that will come to fruition.

Worked on contest entries, got my review out. I have another book to read/review, and then I can invoice.

It was temperate enough to sit on the deck with a glass of wine for an hour or so in the late afternoon. I took Charlotte and Willa out in their playpens, and they were very happy. There was a baby woodpecker in the maple tree. He was so cute! I guess Raoul and Juanita (our resident woodpeckers) had a little one.

Simple supper of spinach and cheese omlettes.

Tired and went to bed early, which meant I woke up too early this morning.

I had to force myself to sit down for the first writing session this morning, but once I did, I was glad I did, and got a good 1500 words in on SELF-SANCTUARY. It’s flowing well. I’m in the third chapter written in longhand; once that’s finished, I’ll type the first three, as I continue in longhand.

But going back to my daily 1K (or a little more) first thing has made me feel better about everything else, and stabilizes my day. I am more creative and productive. Punishing myself by not writing until I solved the housing crisis only sent me into a downward spiral. Self-flagellation and self-sabotage are not the answer.

A different potential client got back to me, demanding I work PST hours (which would mean working until 8 PM Mondays through Fridays), even though I stated clearly that we have enough overlapping hours to work in real time, and then work asynchronously the rest. If you demand working YOUR business hours for a remote team, you don’t understand how distributed workforce actually works. No. Moving on.

I need to make a run to Trader Joe’s this morning, and then get more client work done, and more house hunting done.

One foot in front of the other, right?