Thursday, July 14, 2016
Sunny and hot
July 14 has always been a rather personal independence day for me, since about the mid-1980s. So I celebrate, in my own way.
After Tuesday, when, probably for the first time since I moved to the area, I felt my work was valued, on Wednesday, I had to deal with the small-minded, anti-artist attitude that is prevalent on Cape.
The morning was a total nightmare, especially at the “Career Center”, where we had to redo paperwork for the unemployment claim, and then they started telling me what websites I can and can’t search for work on. I’m sorry, but your website that holds jobs for dishwashers and landscapers is not going to have the work that I want and do. I will look for work WHERE I want, in the MY OWN FIELD.
Instead of being pleased that I found work – on my own – that starts tomorrow, even for a short period of weeks – I was berated for not finding a “real job.” Excuse me, theatre IS my real job, and has been my real career since I was 18 years old. Fuck off.
I am done accepting less than I am worth, and taking shit jobs because it fits someone else’s agenda.
I am also fed up with working my ass off, giving, giving, giving, and, instead of it being appreciated, always being asked for more.
I’m burned out on several fronts, and I cannot and will not constantly put my writing and my own needs to one side because others want things from me. They’re not getting them. For months, now, I’ve sent out warnings and spoken up. A deaf ear has been turned, and demands ratcheted up.
On the positive front, I updated the pitch materials with the latest round of title and series changes and got them to my agent, so she can shop everything at the conference this week. I’m not announcing anything until we actually decide we’re keeping the titles!😉
I managed to get home in the early afternoon with a blistering migraine, writing deadlines, and hating the world. Well, not the world, but “people” in general. I like individuals, even if I don’t always agree with them, get angry with them, but I don’t like “people.”
Read and wrote myself back to sanity during the afternoon and evening.
Still didn’t sleep well.
Had a good writing session this morning and got some mowing done. Have to run a few errors and then it’s over to the “Career Center” where I’m required by the state to sit in on a seminar which, I have no doubt, will be an utter waste of time. They were nice when I came in shattered the day I was laid off, but they don’t understand what I do, and they can’t be helpful. Yet I am forced to spend several days a week in there until I get permanent FULL TIME work.
My life does not fit into other people’s forms, and I am not willing to conform to accommodate them.
At least today has started out better!😉
I intend for at least one more fruitful writing session before I have to go to the seminar, and then finish up some paperwork and write tonight.
Tomorrow I start the new job. Wish me luck!