Thurs. April 9, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 16

Thursday, April 9, 2020
Waning Moon
Cloudy and cold

Survived another couple of days, in spite of technical difficulties. Between Comcast & AT&T, it was a challenge.

Managed to get to the pharmacy & Trader Joe’s on Tuesday. Masked. It really does relieve stress on the workers. You can see the difference in their reactions. But the strain is wearing on them. I thanked them for being there.

Disinfectant protocols on return. Took half the day, but hopefully, I can stay in for the next 10 days or so. The surge is supposed to but here from the 10-20.

Fingers crossed we survive.

Too many aren’t taking it seriously, walking around the neighborhood & hanging out in groups. I keep clear.

Writing, client work, contest entries, book reviewing. I have the tablet set up. I have the new internet package set up – which took more than 4 hours when it should have taken 20 minutes. But that’s a rant for another day.

I hope I can ramp up some work over the next few weeks.

I’ll know today if one client can keep me on or not. Then I can make decisions.

Yesterday was tough, technology-wise & morale-wise. What needs to be done isn’t and the predators are allowed free reign. They’re out in force. Like survival doesn’t take enough energy. Sadly, some of those predators are running things.

But today is a new day, and I’m determined to meet it with a better attitude.

Hope you are all well. Stormy, cold weather for the next few days, but then I hope to get more yard work done.

Published in: on April 9, 2020 at 5:29 am  Leave a Comment  

Tues. April 7, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 14

Tuesday, April 7, 2020
Last Day of Full Moon
Sunny and mild

Hope you are all well.

Not a bad weekend, all around. Stayed the F Home, as instructed.

The writing is plugging along; not as quickly as I’d like, but it’s going. I’m getting about 1K/day in on one project (not the one I SHOULD be working on), but at least I’m keeping up a writing rhythm.

I’ve started to tackle some issues in BALTHAZAAR, and hope I’ll get into that rhythm soon, and I’m planning, later this week, to add in a few hundred words a day on BARD’S LAMENT, to keep that on track.

Doing client work, working on my article, working on contest entries. I wasn’t up to reading the book for review, so I’m behind on that, and have to get back on track with that today.

AT&T said they’d added 10 GB of data to my plan, free, for the next 2 months during the pandemic. Like Comcast, AT&T is posturing to look good publicly, and not following through. On Sunday, when I paid for next month, I was told I had 4 GB left until the plan renews on the 12th. Last night, I was told I had 750 GB left. Considering I haven’t watched any video on the phone for the last week, it’s not possible I burned through that much data in 2 days. Especially not if they’d added 10GB to the plan — which, obviously, they haven’t. So I’m in trouble until next Monday, phone-wise.

The Comcast issue is supposed to be fixed by Thursday, but I’ll believe that when I see pigs flying past the bedroom window and waving their hooves.

Of course, one of my clients wants to book a phone conference this week, when, chances are, I can’t.

I HATE being dependant on technology.

On top of that, the bank manager at TD Bank is being a dickhead to my elderly mother. This is nothing new; he’s a bully and a creep. But I can’t go out there and punch his lights out in person because the lobby’s closed to the public.

4 loads of laundry over the weekend, the usual weekly house cleaning. We had a bit of nice weather, so I started cleaning out the terraced bed of leaves. I also cut down a patch of bindweed that was trying to choke the big lilac. I spend more time cutting bindweed and unbinding it around here. I’m behind where I’d like to be, but since people are out “taking a walk” in groups with no social distancing, no facemasks, I hesitate to work in the front.

Yup, in a neighborhood where everyone has a decent-sized yard, they’re walking around in groups with no precautions. Especially annoying are the two women (they’d be called “yummy mummies” in the UK) with one set of little kids in perambulators and one set on scooters. No protective gear, clumped together, shoulder to shoulder. The kids on scooters throw stones and sticks at the houses as they pass by. That is NOT okay. I get it, the kids hate being cooped up. But you both have yards, and, at the very least, don’t ignore that they’re throwing stuff at houses.

Made facemasks (just one set) for my mother and myself. Nice to know the sewing machine still works. It should — professional grade from my Broadway work. I hate the masks. I hate wearing them, it triggers my claustrophobia, AND they don’t actually stop one from getting the virus (which a pathologist friend of ours agrees). All we’re doing is putting germ repositories on our faces.

However, it’s not all about me. If it makes the grocery clerk and the pharmacy clerk feel more secure during interactions, I’m happy to wear it. Well, not happy, but I’ll do it without bitching (too much) because whatever I can do to make them less stressed, I will do. I’m staying home as much as possible, and leaving the property for the pharmacy and the store for the first time in 12 days today.

Before you say, “oh, just order online and have it delivered” — those services are limited here, delivery and pickup slots are three weeks out, and most of the time, they put in whatever THEY think is a substitute. If I’m in the store, I can create menus based on what’s in stock, not order and get whatever they can find or substitute.

Besides, if one more rich person swans around on social media talking about how to homestead “cheaply”, I am going to lose it. You have resources plenty of people don’t; stop telling people how to live. There’s one individual in particular, whom I admire(d?) professionally and just want to slap personally, the way she’s carrying on.

Getting back to the facemasks, the “recommendation” to wear them outside is only going to make things worse, because now the people who run non-essential businesses are telling their employees to “just come into the office and wear a mask” instead of staying the F home until May 4, the way we’re supposed to.

And the state’s unemployment system is STILL not set up to handle the extended claims.

Our surge here is supposed to increase and be the worst from April 10-20, so I’m trying to get what I need today, and then hunker down until nearly the end of it, if possible.

I have no idea if the one client who paid me for the initial two weeks will continue, or be able to continue. I know she applied for a loan to keep me and her bookkeeper on, but don’t know if that will happen. She did more than I expected on that front, and if she lets us go, I certainly understand. It will make the month rough, but I will understand. I am proceeding this week as though we’re continuing, and I know I’m getting paid this week for last week. If she has to lay us off, I will put in the specific hours for this week (which aren’t all that much less than what I usually do for her) and deal with it.

Mnuchin needs to be replaced. The stimulus payments haven’t started going out yet. Now, they’re saying it could be August before people get paid. That is unacceptable on every level.

During the last crash, we all got a measly $250 from the government. Paper check. We got them in THREE WEEKS from the time it was announced. I realize the Republicans don’t want to pay us a penny, don’t care that we’re dying, and are happy to starve us out, but get it done. It HAS been done before, plenty of us remember it, and, even if the system as “antiquated” — it worked the last time, make it work again. This is not the first time for this, so stop acting like it is.

The bill was signed on March 27. Mnuchin’s team should have worked (remotely) that weekend to put the system in place. Payments should have (and could have) started going out on March 30.

If he’s too inept and/or corrupt to get this done, remove him and put in someone competent. Yeah, he and that disgusting bubblehead to whom he’s married like to pose with sheets of money. But put in someone who will actually get that money to the people who need it.

And then pass Universal Basic Income for the next few months and GET IT DONE.

This part of it isn’t hard, paying people isn’t hard, so stop dragging your feet and pretending it is. Because we’re not idiots, and we know it’s Republican obstructionism again, and has nothing to do with reality.

In the meantime, I got a new tablet to carry me through since the Kindle is now, basically, useless for anything but mobi files. I hope to finish setting it up today and tomorrow. I’d like to be able to read the rest of the digital contest entries on it; but, if not, I have them on a flash drive and will do them on the trusty old laptop.

Also on a happier note, I’m digging more deeply into both the yoga and meditation practices, adding more, and going deeper. It’s necessary, because of the constant tension invading my body from external pressures (especially any time I have to leave the property, or fend off “why can’t we just meet if we’re both wearing face masks?”).

I’ve expanded my morning and evening practices, and added one in the mid-afternoon. For the middle one, I’m focusing on a single pose at a time, getting it comfortable, working on alignment and flexibility. I’m using the Yoga Deck for it.

The first one is Triangle Pose, a pose with which I’ve always struggled. But working on it, slowly, day after day, with an eye to gently improving and aligning, helps a lot.

The month’s Goddess Provisions box arrived, filled with wonderful, crystal-oriented stuff. One of the items is a fabulous pen, with which I write in my daily journal. It’s copper-colored and filled with crystals, matching one of the colors on the journal cover. It writes beautifully. I hope I can get refills for it.

Writing, cooking, baking, cleaning, yoga, meditation, yard work — the shape of my day is not that different. When I’m deep in the work, I’m fine. I’m working, I’m certainly more productive working completely from home. I’m hopeful.

It’s when other people expect me to put my life (and, by extension, my family’s life) in danger for their convenience that I get tense and upset. What I do does not need to be done from someone else’s office. So let me do what I do in the safety of my own home and stop trying to force me into your (contaminated) space because you need an audience. So much of this is boundaries. But keeping to a routine — which includes showering and getting dressed every day — makes a huge difference.

I’m seriously considering going for the dramatic, theatrical eye makeup over the facemask.

I’m taking steps to expand the good things about this time period, and to find a way to make them more central to my life, while removing the negative things (such as those people who expect me to put my life in danger for their convenience), and still be able to make a decent living and get back on track with the things I need to get done this year.

It’s a challenge, in a different way than it was earlier this year. At many points during the day, I don’t feel I am up for it. Then, I go back to the writing, the yoga, the meditation, and I am determined to find a way to make it work.

I might not be around much this week, online, depending if I can get everything up and running. And think a good thought that I will come back from my foray off the property and be able to disinfect and not have caught anything.

Stay safe, be well.


Published in: on April 7, 2020 at 7:11 am  Leave a Comment  

Monday, April 6, 2020: Renewal

image by Pexels courtesy of

Monday, April 6, 2020
Waxing Moon

It’s a new month. Fresh start on several fronts, and that’s a good thing. Even with difficult changes, I am working to lonk for long-term good. It’s difficult. There’s a struggle.

But each day, I do what I can. All we can do is the best we can do.

What are you working on this week?

Published in: on April 6, 2020 at 5:45 am  Leave a Comment  

Fri. April 3, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 10

Friday, April 3, 2020
Waxing Moon
Rainy, high winds, cold

Yesterday was a pretty decent day. Morning was focused on work for one particular client, to keep in touch with her customers & keep things going.

Managed to re-download the PDFs I can no longer read on my Kindle to a Flash drive, so I can continue to do my work on a regular computer.

Sent out interview requests; already got one back! Delighted. I’m having fun with this article.

Worked on contest entries. Got some admin done. Virtually hung out with a co-worker from s usually on-site gig who needed someone to listen.

I keep checking in with friends pretty regularly, so that’s a good thing.

Put a sign on my front door thanking the mail carriers, UPS, FedEx, delivery people for what they do.

Furious that the Treasury Department is saying stimulus checks can take 20 weeks to arrive. Also, seniors might only get $600–I thought they fixed that?

20 weeks for a 1-time payment is not acceptable. In the last crash, we all got a pittance ($250), but the paper checks were there in 3 weeks.

We need UBI. They keep touting “expanded” unemployment benefits, but the systems are both overwhelmed with claims & not modified to meet new guidelines yet.

Yet the Gibbering Sociopath is using $45K of OUR money for golf carts this weekend?


Other than hating the lying, cheating grifters in charge of destroying the country & killing us all, we’re hanging in there.

Have a great weekend. If the rain ever stops, maybe I can work in the yard.


Published in: on April 3, 2020 at 5:10 am  Comments (2)  

Thurs. April 2, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 9

Thursday, April 2. 2020
Waxing Moon
Rainy, windy, cold

No garden post today, because there is nothing to say.

Planned strategy with a client yesterday, which I will start work on today. Since the stay-at-home is extended until May 4, we have to keep in touch with people.

Worked on contest entries, worked on the shape of the article. Will start sending out requests for quotes today.

Participated in #remotechat, which was fun.

Baked whole wheat honey-cumin bread and more chocolate chip cookies.

People are talking about being “bored” and what to do with all this extra time. I don’t have extra time. I’m as busy as ever, although $$ aren’t coming in the way I’d like. The next two weeks will be very tight, at the least.

I thought I’d have extra time to purge the basement, but I’m working on projects with late April/early May deadlines.

And once the weather lets up, I have to get some yard work done.

Not writing as much fiction as I should or want. But a lot of energy is directed toward survival. Getting in 500-1000 words/day, but that’s not anywhere near enough.

But all I can do is the best I can do.

So I am.

Every day survived is a victory.

Namaste, friends.

Published in: on April 2, 2020 at 4:14 am  Leave a Comment  

Wed. April 1, 2020: Don’t Be A Fool #StayTheFHome Day 8

Wednesday, April 1, 2020
Waxing Moon
Still dark, but supposed to be cold & cloudy
April Fool’s Day

We survived another day. That’s a good thing.

The Stay-at-Home edict was extended until May 4.

I don’t know if my one remaining local client can keep me on. As long as I get paid this week (for last week) and next week (for this week), I can manage. If not, I’m in trouble.

I had to buy a new tablet yesterday. My Kindle Fire, which is touted as being as useful as a tablet, no longer supports Adobe Acrobat Reader.

I had my month’s upcoming work (a project due in May) in Adobe on the Kindle. Plus, many of the books I review are sent as PDF. It is the format across systems. That’s the point –it can be used anywhere. On any device.

Well, Amazon doesn’t want us using anything but mobi, so they fucked us.

Typical Amazon.

Pair that with Comcast sending me in endless loops and refusing to connect this special pandemic package they heavily promoted to make themselves look good, and I’m struggling.

Interesting how Comcast “can’t find” me to connect –even though I have to be signed in to activate the connection, so the account definitely exists–but if I want to pay $3.95 AN HOUR, there’s no problem.

Typical big corporation. Amazon & Comcast –if they can hurt you for profit, they will.

Anyway, I had to order a tablet to tide me over. My old MacBook can’t go online anymore, although it’s great to write on. An unexpected expense, even though I got as inexpensive a one as I could that still does what I need it to do.

I hate being dependant on technology.

Other than losing half a day to fight with Comcast,and losing several more hours researching inexpensive tablets, it was an okay day. Didn’t get enough work done on the article, so I will make up for it today.

Cuomo is a strong, smart leader. My day revolves around his briefings.Every death is human and weighs on him.

The Gibbering Sociopath is gleeful at the thought of 200,000 deaths.Disgusting.

I’m staying off social media today except for #remotechat. I have no doubt people will be even more hateful today on April Fool’s Day.

I’m surprised by how quickly people are unravelling. Not just because of the threat of death hovering over all of us, but because they have no inner life or resources.

How can anyone be bored? There’s so much to do, on so many levels.

Peace, and stay well.

Published in: on April 1, 2020 at 4:58 am  Leave a Comment  

Tues. March 31, 2020: StayTheFHome Day 7

Mon day, March 31, 2020
Waxing Moon
Foggy & cold

We survived another day. That feels like a victory right now.

Going to the pharmacy & grocery store was stressful on Friday. But both CVS & Trader Joe’s are handling it well.

We followed strict disinfectant protocols when I came home. Took longer than the shopping, but worth it if we survive.

Rest of the weekend was fine. Started some work in the beds outside, but the weather’s been bad, so I’m limited. Did some planting & replanting inside. Did laundry, switched the bed linens from fleece to flannel, did the weekly cleaning. Baked a cake. Cooked. Did a lot of yoga & meditation.

Read the books for review & wrote the reviews. Worked on contest entries. Made the decisions in one category & have to finish entering the data. Went back to working on the other category.

Yesterday, sent off the reviews, received the next book. Worked on contest entries. Did some client work. Started work on my article.

Comcast is useless. Why did I ever think they would fulfill their pandemic promise?

We listen to Cuomo every day, and sometimes to our own governor. Cases are accelerating here in MA.

We do not listen to the Murdering Narcissist and his minions. They have nothing to offer but their glee as people die.

I have plenty of work to keep me busy, although not enough money coming in. But I don’t get bored. There’s writing and a little client work and books and articles and cleaning out the basement and mending and plenty to do.

Put in the Chewy order, figuring it will take longer, and wanting to get it in well before it’s needed.

Hope you are all doing well. Having weird dreams.

Much love.

Published in: on March 31, 2020 at 5:33 am  Leave a Comment  

Mon. March 30, 2020: Intent for the Week – Calm

image by leninscape via

Monday, March 30
Waxing Moon

This week, I intend to focus on pockets of calm I can build whenever and wherever I can. So much is changing. Certain things are changed forever.


That’s where I will find new strength.

What’s your focus this week?

Published in: on March 30, 2020 at 6:41 am  Leave a Comment  

Fri. March 27, 2020: StayTheFHome, Day 3

Friday, March 27, 2020
Waxing Moon
World Theatre Day
Still dark

Today is World Theatre Day. I celebrate my theatre family & will share videos, etc. on Twitter, as I come across them.

Comcast still hasn’t fixed the connection problem. Because of course they haven’t. It’s flipping a switch. Not installing anything. It’s allowing me to sign into my account, not telling me I don’t exist.

Yesterday was a good day. I’m tempted to call it a happy day, but then I’m afraid the other shoe will drop.

Wrote, worked on contest entries, did some client work, worked with the cats, cleaned the house, cooked, read.

Today, I have to go to CVS & the grocery store. CVS claims to deliver; maybe some of them do. When we tried to arrange it, we were told maybe sometime in the next three weeks. This is the same CVS where every prescription is a fight. Sorry. This is medication. It can’t wait 3 weeks. I have to take the risk of going in.

I can’t go to Trader Joe’s until 10 because of senior hours, so there will be a long line. Hopefully, the shelves won’t be bare, so I don’t have to keep increasing the risk by going to other stores.

When I get home, I’ll take my shoes off & leave them in the garage. Unpack & disinfect everything. Wipe down counters when I’m done. Disinfect the car. Strip down in the laundry room, put everything in the machine & wash it. Shower & dress in clean clothes. Wipe doorknobs & floors. I’ll set up the clothing stations & the disinfecting stations before I leave.

While my mother is safely in another part of the house.

I’m hoping not to go out again until a week from Sunday.

After I’m scrubbed, I’ll do some client work & maybe work in the yard.

The Sociopath is trying to break Cuomo between denying Federal aid & making snarky comments in the nightly Lie Rallies.

It won’t work. Every death weighs on the Governor. But he’s tough and he’s smart and he’s dedicated. He will work with others & do everything humanly possible & more.

What a contrast between a public servant with integrity & the moronic grifter.

Have a great weekend, all. Love to you.

Published in: on March 27, 2020 at 5:25 am  Leave a Comment  

Thurs. March 26, 2020: #StayTheFHome Day 2

Thursday, March 26, 2020
Waxing Moon
Still dark

It was cloudy & rainy most of yesterday. No post on Gratitude & Growth, because there’s nothing to say.

Yesterday was the first day of the MA whatever it is. The Governor is a bit mealy-mouthed about what it IS. But we can’t use our re-usable bags in stores, and school closures ares are extended through April 30th.

Up to early, due to Charlotte. Regular morning routine with yoga, meditation, writing.

Spent hours fighting with Comcast because the special pandemic package is, of course, not true, I can’t get connected, and they say I don’t exist, although I used the link and info sent in the welcome email.. Still not resolved.

Did some remote work for a local client.

Finished contest entries in one category. Will pick the winner & finalists, do the paperwork, and move back to the next category today.

Watched Andrew Cuomo’s briefing, always worth it. He’s playing the federal game while still throwing down the gauntlet. He’s got a national plan that could be rolled out to save millions of lives, if the other governors are smart enough to get involved.

I believe the aid packages have to be split into individual aid, including UBI over a period of months. Corporate aid needs to be tied to how they treat workers during this time. Fire everyone or treat them like crap? Zero.

If the GOP screams, as it does, that individuals must have 3-6 months of savings on minimum wage jobs with no benefits, then multi-million dollar companies with overpriced executives shouldn’t be screaming poverty after 2 weeks.

My mother is scared, being 95 and all.

She & Charlotte are having conflicts.

I’m hoping the weather gets nicer so I can work in the yard.

Not feeling very creative right now, but doing the best I can.

I could do better if Comcast would stop fucking around, but that’s as unlikely as a Republican with a soul.


Published in: on March 26, 2020 at 5:02 am  Leave a Comment  

March 25, 2020: Non-Essential Business Closed in MA

Wednesday, March 25,2020
Waxing Moon
Still dark

The state closed all non-essential businesses as of noon yesterday until April 7. It’s a relief, honestly, because that means less arguing with clients about onsite work. Although one client said, “Oh, nobody will notice if you come in.” Um, no. I’ll do what I can remotely.

So Monday was a scramble to put things in place. I couldn’t take my mom to the bank for the paperwork we needed to sign. We figured we’d go Tuesday before noon. Her bank sent an email stating they had special hours for seniors in the morning for just that.

Only, of course, they didn’t. They closed the lobby completely. So we can’t do the necessary paperwork. It can’t be done online.

I’m drafting a temporary document to cover in the interim & sending it in.

There’s less stress being home. I wrote, worked on contest entries, downloaded two more books for review. Hung up the wind chimes on the deck. It was too cold to work in the yard.

Andrew Cuomo’s briefing was, as always, wonderful. He presented a national plan of states helping states that can get us through it.

That’s in sharp contrast to the Sociopath getting bored with the virus & telling people to go back to work in 15 days.

The Sociopath also signed a death warrant for tens of thousands of New Yorkers (to start; it will spread over the country). He refuses to use the DPA to manufacture medical supplies, and only sent 4K ventilators to NY, knowing they will need 26K in 14-21 days. He basically told New York to fuck off & die. And he’s ENJOYING that people will die. It makes him feel powerful.

He wants to re-open the country by Easter. Causing more deaths. He’s insane.

It proves what many suspected at the time: Letting Americans die in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria was the test run.

What a disgusting, despicable human being.

His cronies, saying older people should be willing to “sacrifice” themselves for the stock market are just as bad. Let all these old white corporate men go first.

I’m in despair for the country.

Meanwhile, trying to plug away as best I can. Hoping it will be nice today so I can work in the yard. Friday, I have to pick up my mother’s medication & go grocery shopping. I already dread it.

Supposedly, there is a new relief package deal. Talking about $1200 for those making under $75K a year. I’m wondering if that is per month or a one-time payment. Because this is going to last more than a month. $1200 for indefinite time won’t cut it.

Day by day. Just trying to survive the best we can. Keep a routine as normal as possible. Work remotely with clients who aren’t used to it– one client is keeping us on regular pay for the next 2 weeks, and I’m going to do a few remote hours for her every day. I don’t do that many hours for her a week, and I can’t do everything remote, but I’ll do what I can.

I hope to finish contest entries for one genre today, enter everything, and work on the other. And also work on the books for review, so I can invoice.

Day by day. Moment by moment.

I hope you’re all doing well.

Charlotte wasn’t afraid of the garbage truck yesterday, so at least there’s progress on one front!

Published in: on March 25, 2020 at 5:05 am  Comments (2)  

Tues. March 24, 2020: Stay in Motion At Home

Tuesday, March 24, 2020
New Moon

Things are changing, moment to moment.

Last Wednesday was a roller coaster, work-wise. I broke up with one client, who refused to let me write a newsletter remotely. She wants all her people on site so she “knows they’re working.” She doesn’t believe this virus is serious; thinks it’s a “liberal hoax.”

I told her I wasn’t coming in. She told me she wouldn’t pay me if I wouldn’t come in. I said I wasn’t going to put my life and my family’s lives in danger to write her newsletter, and it was best she hire someone else. She told me that I would come crawling back to her when this was all over. I told her that no, I wouldn’t. I’m done with her.

Yesterday, she got in touch to tell me she would “let” me write the newsletter from home — but she wasn’t going to pay me. Her policy is that she only pays people who work on site. Let me point out that her business falls into the “non-essential” category and ALL her employees could work from home if she’d let them. I told her I wasn’t going to work for free. On top of the fact that I no longer worked for her AT ALL. When I told her I was done last week, I meant it.

The client who was away last week is going to self-quarantine for two weeks upon her return, so at least we got that sorted out. Not that I think there should be any sort of contact, even beyond that. We’ll take it from there, but I have a feeling that relationship is close to ending, too.

Also found out that someone who was an important part of my life during a turbulent period (but with whom I lost touch the past few years), died at the end of February (not from the virus; he’d been ill for a long time). On Thursday, I found out an acquaintance in CT shot himself in January.

Kind of a lot of emotional stuff going on the past few days.

Thursday was cold and rainy. I worked remotely, finished one of the books for review, worked on contest entries, had a decent writing day.

So GOP Senators hid the information about the pandemic so they could profit by selling stocks. Gee, what a surprise. There need to be serious, serious, and long-range consequences for that.

A local paper ran an irresponsible article on how grocery stores can’t keep their shelves stocked — way to incite more panic-buying, guys. No reason the headline and the story couldn’t have been framed to show how those workers are busting their asses to keep us all supplied. But no– go for the panic headline.

Friday morning, I had to swing by the post office to mail some bills because the mail truck drove right past the last few days. Then, it was off to put gas in the car, and head to Trader Joe’s.

They were only letting in a few people at a time. Most of us formed a line and kept a safe distance. One woman behind me kept getting to close and trying to cut in front of me until I told her to back off.

Inside, everyone was keeping a safe distance. The staff was lovely. Things were stocked, and they’re limiting shoppers to 2 of each item, or 1 full cart total. I didn’t need all that much — although I realized I’d forgotten flour, once I was through the checkout. Too bad for me. I’m on my last 5 pounds of it, but that should get me through the week. No chicken, either — bags of pieces, but not whole chickens.

Target was next — garbage bags, Murphy’s oil soap, looking for liquid Tylenol (they were out). Again, people keeping a safe distance, plenty of cleaning wipes.

Shaw’s last. No flour to be found in the whole store, and barely any other baking supplies. Good that people are baking. No powdered milk left, and the condensed was very expensive. But I got the real thing at Trader Joe’s, so we’re okay this week. But I managed to get a whole chicken (they just put them out) and a bag of popcorn (kernels – I cook it in a pot on the stove). Again, people were considerate and distanced in the store — for the most part. Except in line, where people kept trying to cut the line because of that distance, and think it was funny. Also, people were panic buying in Shaw’s — twelve multi-packs of toilet paper and the like. People are still panic buying TP for some reason.

It was so foggy I could barely find my car in the parking lot.

Came home, scrubbed down, scrubbed the items, scrubbed the bags, scrubbed the car. Was a complete wreck.

I made a spinach-bacon-tomato-egg salad for lunch, based on something I had a few years ago at Kripalu.

I settled in to work on contest entries, which was fun. And did a good immune system strengthening yoga sequence in the afternoon. Spent quality time with Tessa, did some work with Charlotte. Charlotte’s shown improvement this week. She and Tessa still have issues, but overall, Charlotte is improving. Willa just copes.

Cooked dinner (salmon patties, rice, spinach). Watched a video, read.

Good evening meditation. I’m leaning on my yoga and meditation practices a lot.

Trying to make some decisions about a couple of work issues moving forward. Trying to move a few things around, to make it easier and more productive to keep working from home, and to shed the clients who demand I put my life in danger to work for them.

Up early Saturday. Good morning yoga and first writing sessions. Got the next book to review. Worked on entering data from the contest entries I’ve read.

Broadway is stepping up. The wardrobe union is in touch with Cuomo’s office to make masks for the healthcare workers. Since Trump won’t help with the supply chain, Broadway stitchers are stepping up. The union is coordinating — not yet sure if it’s just NY or on a national level. Because it’s not just finding a pattern on the Internet and using scraps you find around the house. There are specific specs, and one has to figure out how to get them to the coordinators and when and where the masks will be sterilized. Jo-Ann Fabrics is also supposedly supplying fabric and coordinating efforts nationwide.

Got some writing done over the weekend, read and reviewed another book, worked on contest entries. I’m almost done with one category, and then can focus on the rest of the other.

I should have done yard work on Sunday, but I didn’t.

Monday, one of my remaining clients and I strategized on how we will keep her business afloat. I was worried about stress from her, but it was a good conversation.

Came home and my mother and I had to go in-person to the bank to handle some signatures they needed to notarize in case something happens to one or the other of us. That doesn’t help our stress levels, either. It’s terrifying and necessary. And heart-breaking.

Andrew Cuomo’s briefings are what’s the most helpful right now. While he gives specifics to New York, he sets out plans that can be adapted across the country. He also deals with the emotional fallout of all of this. He is calm, direct, fact-based, states when something is an opinion, and reassuring.

I’m imagining the Javits Center set up as a field hospital. Mind-blowing.

Then, you have the Narcissistic Sociopath, who is withholding supplies from blue states and refusing to put the DPA into effect. He’s using his daily press conferences (for which he’s ALWAYS late) as his substitute rallies. He needs to STF up and get out of the way, so professionals can save lives. Then there’s Rand Paul, running around infecting people until he tested positive (he gets a test, asymptomatic, while people near death can’t)? Rand Paul claims to be a doctor, but this behavior makes me suspect his degree is off the back of a matchbook. Either that, or he didn’t take his medical Oath seriously. We already know he doesn’t take his Constitutional one seriously.

McConnell’s Slush Fund Bill, that failed in the house on Saturday night, was a travesty. Does nothing for workers, especially those at the bottom of the wage-earning scale (most of whom are the ones keeping us functioning). Allows Mnunchin to give Trump and other cronies billions of dollars without transparency. It needed to fail.

We need Basic Universal Income — the same for EVERYBODY, not tied to two year old tax returns. We need it THIS WEEK, before the bills are due. We need rents, evictions, mortgages, telecommunications, and utility bills suspended until it’s safe to go back to work out and about.

All of these corporations screaming for bailouts — they got an enormous tax break a few years ago. They could have put it back into their business, investing in workforce and building up a reserve against future downturns. They CHOSE not to. They CHOSE to line executive and shareholder pockets and ignore the workforce.

The pandemic is not a surprise. For my entire adult life, scientists have warned us something like this would happen. I had hoped it wouldn’t in my lifetime, but it has. Even if corporations had put a single-digit percentage of their overblown profits into a disaster fund, they would have billions in reserve by now to get through this and get their workers through this. They CHOSE not to.

Don’t reward them by giving them blank checks. They keep proving they can’t manage money or their workforce. Stop rewarding them for being lousy executives and managers.

We need to remember the companies, on large and small scales, who are treating their people like crap during this. And hold them accountable.

I’m plugging along on various writing projects. It’s difficult to know what or where to pitch articles right now. Things are changing quickly. My versatility is a plus in all this change, but I also want to make sure nothing comes across as tone-deaf.

Speaking of tone-deaf, my mother got a harassing mailing from a company selling hearing aids. It started with, “You want us to send out a search party?” because she hasn’t responded to any of their previous harassing mailings. Then, it DEMANDS she attend a sales presentation this week. In person.

They can take that mailing and shove it. How dare they? How DARE they send out something like that to elderly people at a time like this?

Their defense will be that it went out before all this happened. No, hon, it didn’t. Your address is up the street. I was in contact with them to rip them a new one, and filed a grievance against them with the state AG. This is unacceptable.

On a happier note, I have the #31Prompts going up every morning at 11 AM. If anyone wants to use them as a jumping off point for creative work, please do.

We are taking it day by day, hoping for the best. I wish every trip outside wasn’t so fraught, because there are still people running around acting like it’s a hoax. They’re killing people.

And the Narcissistic Sociopath is killing people — and ENJOYING IT, along with his grifting family and white supremacist staff. They must be held accountable for every single death.

The staying home, working from home, not interacting — that part is all fine. I’m a skilled, reliable, experienced remote worker. I can keep a somewhat normal schedule and just not run out to the store “for just one thing.” I’m trying to go out only once or twice a week. I can set a schedule for writing work and freelance work and meet that schedule. I can work on purging the basement as soon as I can lift things again, and get ahead on that. I am happy at home. I like cozy. I can work in the yard once it gets a little warmer. Staying on my own patch, working, and keeping myself on an even physical and emotional keel is fine. I’m an introvert.

But it’s the demands that I keep putting my life on the line for other people’s convenience, when they don’t want to do their part, that’s so infuriating.

Fingers crossed we make it through another day.


Published in: on March 24, 2020 at 6:01 am  Comments (1)  

Mon. March 23, 2020: Intent for the Week–More Healing

image courtesy of wingsofcompaasion via

Monday, March 23, 2020
Dark Moon

Even though my surgery was cancelled on Friday, I want to concentrate on healing. We have to take all this day by day. We don’t know what any new day will bring.

One of the biggest challenges in that is keeping other people’s agendas and demands at arm’s length. In some respects, I need to be ruthlessly selfish right now, or I’ll pay for it down the road. My intent is to be both firm and kind. But if my boundaries aren’t respected, it’s the firmness that will take precedence.

What’s your intent for the week?

Published in: on March 23, 2020 at 5:58 am  Leave a Comment