Today started well with a solid writing session. It quickly fell apart through a sequence of stupid, petty occurrences that, individually, usually wouldn’t have mattered, but layered together, especially since I’m viewing the world through the prism of a very dark character right now, added up to something bigger and uglier than the sum of its parts. I wound up feeling under-appreciated, bitter, annoyed at the ignorant, and ready to take the next shuttle to Mars.
The question becomes, do I allow this dark character to isolate me while I view the world through his eyes and soul, or I do I push him away at intervals to regain equilibrium? One should search for balance, but there are some instances where balance has a negative effect on the work. So do I let the work have a negative effect on me in order to get deeply enough into it to do this project justice? If that is the case, I need to limit my contact with the outside world during the most intense times with this project — and we’re in early chapters of the book, so it will only get more intense. At the same time, I can’t let the book — and this particular character — swallow me up. Nor do I have the right to take out whatever the work is dredging up on those around me. Since I’ve got responsibilities outside myself, I can’t completely cut myself off, and I’m not sure if that’s fortunate or unfortunate. At the same time, I can’t afford to do less than my best for the book simply because it’s covering difficult emotional ground.
In the best of all possible worlds, since I’m working out of town over the next three weekends, I’d use that time to delve fully into my character’s darkness and then keep him at arm’s — and heart’s — length during the week. However, at the end of the month I’m teaching — not one, but two workshops AND a live chat to which there’s bound to be negative response because I”m not holding back on my contempt for content mills.
And now, of course, is the period of time when this particular, demanding, complex, fascinating, dark character comes riding in on the Muse, with the Muse being in harpy form.
“Balance” won’t work here, but I’m not yet sure how to juggle these conflicting demands. Actors often face this when preparing for a role, and usually, in the past when I’ve had to deal with this in writing, I’ve been able to block off the time to deal with the project and remove myself from the daily demands. I’m hoping to do that for at least a few days.
And I’ll probably contact some of “my” actors, who’ve been in this dilemma, and see where they’ve sought balance and where they’ve made the decision to go over the cliff for the duration, climbing back out when it’s done.
By Jenny Storm. A young girl fights to save her horse trainer father's reputation when vicious rumors could ruin their lives. Purchase from 
Maybe employ the WWDD method – what would Devon do?
Hi Devon .. sounds like you’re in a predicament.
Recently some bloggers I connect with have written an ebook – free and short I think .. due to other pressures I haven’t got to read it yet – but it’s had some good and interesting reviews – it’s called The Narcissist – A User’s Guide – found here:
http://thinklikeablackbelt.com/about-think-like-a-black-belt/
It might give you some thoughts .. perhaps not –
someone said it breaks the glass barriers ..
All yours .. go well and have a better day tomorrow .. all the best Hilary
I know nothing about letting your muse take over, but I don’t think it will be healthy to submerge yourself too deeply for too long a time into the character. Please take care.
Your dilemma reminds me of something Alan Bissett said at the Edinburgh Book Fest last year. He was talking about the character in his latest book being particularly sickening in nature. When asked, he said it was like “shitting a brick sideways for the best part of two years”. He also said that when he came out the other side he was so glad to have finished, that it was great to be back in his own head again, but that it was immensely satisfying to have finished the work.
I’m also reminded of method acting – but I’m no actor so can’t speak in depth about that – but it seems to me to be a good way of getting out of a character exactly what you need to make it an extra special performance.
Ronnie in SLICK was a horrible person, so I punished him deeply for it until he was ready to redeem himself. Which he did in the end.
I say go for it. Use the energy to your advantage. It can’t harm you and could make the story extra special for being able to see the other side.
Good luck!
[...] great friend of mine is in a bit of a dilemma over a character. Devon Ellington is facing the predicament of delving too much into one of her characters, a very dark character by all accounts, and the question she is faced with is how much should she [...]